I had one of those days yesterday. You kow the kind, you wake up after very little sleep and lots of stiffness, it seems like everywhere. You get up to start your day and then in a little bit find yourself back in bed...for most of the day. You get squat done all day, then in the late afternoon you finally begin to feel human.
It feels like today will be just about like it. It could be worse, I didn't have enough pain to take pain pills every time I could. Enough to make my day...blah :( :yawn: but not arghh :eek: :(
I do actually have a pretty good life and I am thankful for what decent health I do have. I am able to do many things, even if it hurts too much to do them, at least my body is able to do them if I had to. I'd just pay dearly for it later.
I fixed supper, actual food, instead of just throwing something in the micowave, nothing fancy, just spaghetti bt I burned the garlic bread :rolleyes: :confused: That made me feel real good. I mean how hard is it to butter some bread, put a little garlic and cheese on it and stick it in under the broiler just long enough to lightly brown? Should be a snap, right? Ha.
Then last night of course I couldn't get sleepy, just tired. That just makes no sense. How can a person be tired almost beyond belief but not sleepy? I hate feeling that way, when I do every little sound just grates on my nerves. I have taken to wearing wax earplugs to get to sleep. DH snores, we've beeen together almost 16 years but in the past year or so either his snoring is worse or my nerves are. It's either wear the plugs or wind up hitting him.
I have a neice getting married on Sat. and guess what? I don't want to go. Of course in some ways it's not a big deal, they've been together for years and have 2 kids already. I don't feel like dressing up, putting in teeth that don't fit and smiling, seeing people I haven't seen since I' gained all this weight, eplaining why I'm hardly ever over there, why I'm tired, why I'm not staying long, shifting over and over again in the pew trying to get comfortable, especially when I know it doesn't help. The church has a very small parking lot in front, so either I get there really early to park close or park across the street and walk, that'd be fun. I hate to disappoint her by not coming, I love her to pieces, but I hate all the hassle of going to some things.
A friend of mine thinks I need to go talk to social security, see my Daddy died when I was almost 14 and so I got his social security until I screwed up and got married when I was almost 16. She says that since I am disabled, I already was when he died, that I should still be getting it. My soial security worker is about an idiot. I dread talking to her. I can just see it now, I go in there and tell her from what I understand from the SS website I should still be getting his SS check...and she tells me that I have to prove to SS that I was already disabled when he died. I'll be 37 in April, ya'll know how long ago I was determioned to be disabled? How fun that would be finding proof from that long ago? I get tired just thinking of the stress of getting all that done.
I don't think I've told you all lately how much I really appreciate you. It really helps to come here and complain sometimes when I really feel the need. Ya'll always understand and make me feel better. You all are really very great friends and I thank you all for listening to my whining and bellyaching.
Oh, 1 other thing. A few months ago I had a cortisone shot in my right arm around the elbow, it helped the horrible pain so much, now my arm is beginning to feel like I'll need another shot before long. Those things hurt like hell! Just how long should those shots last? I've talked to 3 people who had those shots between 16 and 25 years ago and haven't needed another one. Why didn't mine work that way on me?
Ok, I'm through complaining for now.
April

Sorry you're feeling so crappy right now April. I've definitely had "those" days. Many of them lately. It doesn't seem fair. I also know how hard it is to try and explain yourself and how you're feeling to someone who doesn't really know about or understand fibro. It's hard. I fear people will just see me as being "lazy". Hope you feel better soon! :wave:

HI, April,

Yuck, those days indeed. I've had four migraines in the past two weeks, meaning three/four days each just in bed and vomiting and wanting to die from the pain, getting absolutely nothing, nothing done, so I feel your frustration.
Your niece's wedding, well. just my HO, but could you send her a note telling her how much you love her and wish her well, and maybe propose a quiet lunch or visit instead of the wedding? If it will exhaust you, then maybe it's not worth it.
I think you're terrific for making spaghetti, even if you did burn the garlic bread. I'm so bad at cooking that I had the landlord take my stove out of my kitchen, just have a micro, and eat very simply, lots of oatmeal and cottage cheese and joghurt and veggies, p.butter.
I'm on SSI, which is very difficult to get by on, esp. w/this administrations continuing cuts in benefits. But if you can slowly gather your information from long ago and get the Social Security from your parents, go for it. Remember that this would last for the rest of your life, and make things so much easier for you. Sometimes a social worker will advocate for you and do a lot of the work, if you can find someone like that.
Complain all you like. I have so much stuff right now that's either illness-related or painful or just life's annoyances that I feel like butting my head against the wall.
Sometimes I find that the best thing to do is just to distract myself and love my cats and talk to them. The stuff and the illness are just going to be there, we know that.

This life, fibro or not, is difficult and sometimes jujst increasingly insane, I think, and that effects us, too.

Hang in there, take a few minutes to let go of all and find something beautiful, go dwell there for a little.

Thanks for posting, you expressed how I feel, too,

Seaturtle