I find out two days ago I have two lumps in my left breast and a lump under my arm, and I have one friend tell me not to worry about it, my brother doesn't return my call, and I have no support over my concern over this. It amazes me. I am there for everyone in my life when they need me for the stupidest little things, yet when I need support, they aren't there?

Should I not worry about those lumps and act like nothing is wrong? I wonder how they would feel if they were in my position.

I feel like I am losing my mind here....

I am angry at the lack of support and understanding.

Sorry to vent, but I needed to get this out.

Blossom

blossom, you need to get to a doctor to have those lumps checked. forget about who is giving support and who is not giving you support. lumps in breast and under the breast where the lumph nodes are is very serious. how old are you and do you have a family doctor? if you squeeze your breast hard any discharge from your nipple? does the lump hurt if you squeeze it? these could just be small cysts that girls get all of the time. i had breast cancer so i know a thing or two. do not be afraid to get this looked into right away. write back to me and let me know how you are doing. shelley

Shelly, I have a biopsy scheduled for the 22nd of this month. I saw my internist, who then referred me to a surgeon who felt the lumps and said biopsy. Believe me I am on top of it big time. I am 41, and my family history has breast cancer, both grandma and great grandma had it. The lump in my armpit came up after I had the flu really bad for about 3 weeks, and I did a self breast exam and felt the lumps. I had a mammogram in Aug., after feeling a lump, they did an ultrasound and neither showed anything, so they told me just to keep an eye on it. Looking back with what I know now I would have persued the surgeon earlier, but am glad it's only been since Aug.

There is no discharge thankfully.

Blossom

HI Blossom, I am happy to see that you are taking care of yourself. I do not want to scare you but if your grandmother and great grandmother both had breast cancer this is serious. I had a 6 cm tumor that was not seen in an mammogram or ultra sound! my maternal aunt and great aunt both had breast cancer. you must ask for an MRI. Mention to the doctor that you are the 3rd generation which might mean there is a gene in your family. a doctor will realize how important that is. Why do youhave to wait till the 22nd for a biopsy? Try and get in sooner. Please keep me updated. Whatever the out come you willl be OK. Regards, Shelley

Oh Blossom!!!

Egads! I wish I could say what you say is highly unusual but I think not. I am learning to finally say "No, no thank you" and no. You can get support. It may be people who you never thought would be there. I'll be there for you!

I have heard some of the most stupid things since my diagnosis. In the case of my brother he said "Gee, Liz, I always thought I would go before you". My response is "well there's still a good chance you might so don't worry". I mean honestly...

Don't be afraid to tell people what you think they need to hear. If you get a bad response from someone stay away from them. But when I do get a bad response, I call the person, write the person and let them know of the pain they caused me and how I don't appreciate it. And I have no bones about worrying about their feelings. They need to learn so they won't hurt others.

We all have to do things our own way. Mine isn't necessarily right but since my diagnosis. It's a new me. I no longer hold it in. If it makes me mad, I don't give a hoot, I'll tell them. In the case of my brother, I just hung the phone up.

I get mad when people say "I'm there for you" and they are not. I try to look at my own issues of expectations of people and let it go. Easier said than done. You find out very quick who your friends are and maybe we need new ones.

I just joined a cancer support group. I feel that will really help. I'm single, have no family on my side of the country, men have dropped like flies (including my boyfriend who left the day I was diagnosed). I really believe we can make it, your going to be meeting a whole new group of people as you go through this. Write me anytime, Liz

Wow, I am not alone! I feel your pain, honestly. My family has never been there for me and now I see it more clearly. My grown children have been there for money and now it seems like I am on the ground and the "vultures" are just waiting. I told my son I would max out my credit cards and have some fun if this turns out bad, he sd: "they will take out those charges from any inheritance" and " why don't you just take a wk end getaway?", my daughter just called, never calls me, and telling me her "woes" for money needs... my brother hasn't called, seems like everyone lets you down when your no "fun" anymore... ahh, had to get that out of my system, sorry. Anyway, tomorrow is my biopsy, stereotactic. My therapist will be with me, there are good people still out there!! Yes, I hear your pain, men they up and go when times are tough, atleast the 2 marriages I've had. I am praying that whatever comes of this, things will be better!! if its cancer, there are great support groups and if not, I am doing for ME now!!! Either way, big wake up call!!! I've heard others say when diagnosed, they had more friends and help than ever before!!! So we must look at the positive side of this, maybe its a new beginning, not an end!!! Angels are watching over us, much love,cj

This is not an easy thing to deal with, and people just sometimes don't make it any better. Support is good, but you will find out that you get support where you don't even expect it. Be gentle with yourself , cry , scream , laugh whatever you feel like doing. As for the boyfriends that disappear at the first sign of trouble. I don't think that would be a big loss. I know it doesn't feel like it but think of it this way. Better now then later.
I am still struggling myself, but I do get a lot of encouragement here.
Thanks Ladies, (huggsss)
Elke