i was wondering if someone has HIV are there always signs when you first have it? this is the biggest queston really in my life. i have had unprotected sex with someone from another country and they could of had it not real sure. I have never felt anything or had any signs of anything. im just really worried. i think i caught a cold but my brother did too.

There are not always signs..a lot of people get what is called ARS which is flu like symptoms within 2 or 3 weeks after exposure and then no symptoms for a long time after that even if your not on any meds for HIV. If you are , theres a chance of living a real long time with little symptoms. I guess it just depends on how strong your immune system can stay when taking the meds and fighting off the virus.

Dear Brazilian: I was tested positive 8 years after exposure and had no idea I had been exposed until the positive test came back. Wow! THat sure knocked me on my butt.

Chris , how did you get through that? I mean if you had no clue it must have been the worst thing imaginable for you..I can picture you walking out of that office were you were told and how your mind must have been running and your thoughts must have been like " im a dead man walking " I am sure you knew nothing about HIV then and would think that way , as most people do until they get educated.

Dear Lutheran: Here's the story: I've been married to my second wife for 19 yrs, so finding out was actually seven yrs into our marriage and, therefore, I was probably exposed two yrs before our marriage. (No, my wife is negative...and, as I have said over and over again, it is really is the only prayer I pray. Now, 12 yrs after the diagnosis, and she has been tested every yr for the past twelve yrs and negative each time, the likelihood of her sero-conversion now is beyond calculating.).

When I was told, I knew (I just knew) what the test results were going to be. I knew becuase my appointment was for 11:30 and each of the doctor's office staff said, as they were leaving for lunch, "The doctor wants to talk to you and he'll be along in a minute." And, so when he told me, I did fall apart. But, I had the most extraordinary doctor (who was alsoand is still one of my best friends) and he managed to talk with me about medications, blood tests, and, most importantly, long term issues. ANd, when I got home to tell my wife (I don't even know if he called her before I got home.) I got nothing but love and support. I have managed to tell some of our friends...but not all. I managed to tell some of the people with whom I work...but not all. And, I have told some of our family...but not all.

For the first week or so, I honestly thought about suicide because I "didn't want to be a burden" and "I didn't want to die a slow, agonzing death" and "I didn't want anyone to be embarrassed for/by me."

But the fact is, at some point, I made a conscious decision that I could either make this disease the most important thing in my life, or I could make my life the most important thing despite this disease. I came to believe that no disease is more important than the person who has it. I came to believe that this disease was only important to me in the same way as breast cancer is to the person who has breast cancer, or Parkinson's disease is important to the person who has Parkinson's disease. There have been periods when I been scared and wondered how I managed to be so lucky to remain with a viral load that is undetectible and is pretty good health despite everything.

So, as awful as things were, they were only awful for a short while. I refuse to carry banners about this and I refuse to go to support groups. HIV is not who I am! HIV is what I have and I have decided to make this disease into a companion - we go to work together, we drive home together, we have dinner, go to church, play with the kids, all together. SO, Lutheran, just hang in there...there is a rich and rewarding life to be lived despite this stupid disease. chris

Chris , how did you get through that? I mean if you had no clue it must have been the worst thing imaginable for you..I can picture you walking out of that office were you were told and how your mind must have been running and your thoughts must have been like " im a dead man walking " I am sure you knew nothing about HIV then and would think that way , as most people do until they get educated.

I was just wondering, i know not everyone gets symptons, but how likely is it that people have hiv and dont get any signs?

Statistically, I can't give you an answer. What is so disarming and insidious about this disease, is that you can be infected years before you decide to be tested (and have had no symptoms) and discover you're positive.