ive had a rough, stressful, tearfull sobbing day. Very long talk to my fiance then we ate dinner. And i did the unthinkable and purged. I havent purged in so long its like not even part of me anymore but yet, it seems still an addiction to me. My fiance's mad at me but says he still loves me. But i dont know hwo to handle that. I feel so guilty. Is the bulemia coming back now too?? I'm already dealing with the anorexia reoccuring. Lifes becomming a mess. I know i should talk to my therapist, but its group therapy for something completly different, what do i do? i feel so small..... :(

NO one time does NOT mean the bulimia is "back" it just means you had one slip up!! It does sound like you are really struggling though so I would suggest seeing an ED therapist (not group thearpy). Group therapy can help but it is not replacement for agressive one-on-one with a therapist.

sorry, somehow i posted twice! :eek:

yep, it's just a slip up! you're still okay and it's not coming back, don't worry! we all slip back and you're very strong to have made it as far as you have. you'll be right back on track (probably by the time you read this post!), so don't worry too much.

I REALLY recommend getting an ED therapist immediately. if the anorexia is coming back and you're feeling down, now is the BEST time to fight that stuff. don't let it get worse! (which you know it will)

also, was your fiance angry with you for purging? if so, you NEED to talk to him immediately. Eating disorders are SO complicated and people who've never had one cannot understand the many levels on which they affect our thoughts/emotions/actions/habits/whatever. Slip-up reoccurences are VERY common and the last thing you need is the man you love getting upset with you over it. i'm sure you're already feeling scared and angry and anxious enough from the purge you had. he can have his opinions, but he NEEDS to be there for you to offer support and hold you and remind you how far you've come and let you know that it's all gonna be alright. granted if you started purging all the time, he might have more of a right to get upset, but one incident doesn't call for it. that calls for tons of love and support so you can get yourself feeling good and strong again, you know?

i'm anorexic but had TERRIBLE (like TONS of food daily) binging problems for 9 months before starting therapy. i got the binging part under control relatively quickly with therapy (stinkin' anorexia's still hanging around), but i would still have a random binge here or there and feel AWFUL about it. i'd feel like i was never gonna recover and i was a hopeless case and disgusting person. but my boyfriend NEVER got upset about it. he was always there to hold me and he'd try to make me laugh a little and he'd be like, "jo, it's just a mistake. you're doing great, everybody makes mistakes, i'll help you make tomorrow a better day" it helped SO much. tell your boyfriend that (or something) and try to get him to understand that you need support and love, not criticism, during these little errors. good luck!

idont think medicaid will cover another therapist a nd where imgoing now its free. but i dont think they deal with bulemia and its usually every 6 weeks for therapy unless you do group, and the every 6 weeks thing just doesnt cut it for me, i need more atttention. I hate the goverment its too complicated trying to get help.