Hello again,

I'm still looking for the courage to get tested but I am still convinced I am HIV +ve. Recently I have been researching the virus however I have a couple of questions that I am sure that people better educated in the virus could attempt to answer.

I know there are no rules to the virus but their must be a 'best fit' model that I havent found.

1. An early symptom given on various websites is Angular Cheilitis, how soon could one expect to expeience this?

2. Would the appearance of an early symptom such as the above be accompanied by any general feeling of unwellness (i.e. fatigue, aches and pains, nausea, headaches etc)?

I would be grateful if anyone can attempt to answer these, obviously on a hypothetical basis.

Dear Nervous: since I never had heard of Angular Cheilitis I had to do some research in the medical library of the hospital where I work: It seems as though the condition of which you speak is also associated with children who use pacifiers, Vitamin B complex deficiency, dysmenorrhea, lip licking, sun exposure, and/or loss of teeth or their wear.

As you have been told repeatedly, symptoms do not diagnose the disease because, as you can see with regards to the condition about which you are fixated, symptoms mimic so many other issues. The only way to know for sure is to be tested and if you continue to use the internet as your primary resource for determining your status then you are simply going to drive yourself crazy.

You can't have a best fit and I would never provide you with one even if there were one because then you would attempt to "fit" into the symptomology. Prior to being tested positive, I had no symtoms that were consistent with this disease and, at best, I figure I was exposed 8-9 yrs prior to being tested.

In addition fatigue, nausea, headaches, and aches and pains are all related to cold symptoms, influenza, multiple sclerosis, Parkinsons, brain tumors, spinal cord tumors, etc. PLease take care of yourself adn get tested. I can't understand why you don't have the "courage" to get tested but you do have the "courage" to self-diagnose through the internet. chris

In the original post, I said about my fears that I had HIV and had infected my wife (would have acquired it prior to meeting her as I have always been faithfull). Therefore I am scared silly to go and get tested. IF I am positive and consequently she is, she has depression and I worry about what she would do.

The questions were hypothetical, wasn't asking for a diagnosis. As previosly stated my 'risk encounters' were 3-5 years ago. I have never suffered from Cheilitis before and that is why I am suspicious about that.

and I honestly didnt know if a Physical symptom such a Cheilitis or Oral Thrush or a Rash would usually be accompanied by a general feeling of being ill - IF it was due to HIV.

Anway thanks for your response, keep up the good work you do on here

Dear NErvous: can you share you concerns about your risk? I don't know if this helps or not: when I discovered I was positive, my wife and I had been married for 7 years. We have now been married for 19 yrs. She was negative when first tested, and she remains negative to this date. Don't ask me how or why, but it is such a relief.

Now, the issue about being tested are several: first, you can't be treated (if you are positive) unless you know. And, second, if she is positive then she can't be treated as well. Is it all that important to not be tested and not, therefore be treated?

Third, there is a hypothetical and speculative nature to this disease, and there is the reality of this disease. If you focus on the hypothetical and speculative, then you live in a world of superlatives and innuedo; your world is comprised of "what ifs". In order to face this disease, you have to take control of it and your life. ANd, as much as we presume that a positive diagnosis is a death sentence, it only hastens that outcome if you go un-treated. THis is not to diminish the fact that, for all intents and purposes, this is a terminal illness...please do the right thing and get tested. chris

My risks are several (10+) partners with which I had unprotected vaginal sex. Some were long term partners and others drunken one night stands. Looking back on it now I was incredibly stupid and very ignorant of the dangers I was getting myself and others into. Even more stupid was not getting tested earlier and then all of this anxiety could be avoided.

I had bloodwork done last week (for the Accutane I am taking for Acne) and I am fully expecting problems with it (the full blood count). Therefore probably the decision about the HIV test will be taken out of my hands. I just hope and pray that at the very least my wife can be negative.

you know, HIV is pretty difficult to pass woman-to-man. The fact, though, is that you will have give consent for HIV testing so, it really won't be taken out of your hands. I will be thinking and praying for you, nevertheless. chris

Thanks for your kind words Chris.

I have a question but please don't feel obliged to answer it. As you have always been asymptomatic what prompted you to be tested for HIV 7/8 years after previous exposure? Insurance?

I think you and your wife should get tested right away, especially your wife if she doesn't know you have fears that you might have HIV, unless you don't love her enough to want her to get immediate treatment should she be infected for the sake of your anxiety about it. I have a feeling you will both be tested negative, but at least you will get it over with, so it is a win-win situation.

As far as your Accutane, I was on it as a tennager for acne and if I coiuld go back, I would not take it again. You should read the side-effects carefully, it is a dangerous drug. I was young at the time and after the treatment, I signed a document to say no side effects in return for getting $10 from the pharmaceutical company which at the time was decent money for me, being young and all...just be careful.

And like the other person said, it is very difficult to get aids from a female, it's usually received from male to male, or women get it from men, this is the majority of the cases. So again, chances are you don't have it so don't feel too worried, go and get tested for your and your wife's sake so you can get treated should you test positive. People live long lives these days with treatment.

No, it wasn't an insurance question. My wife had some persistent yeast infections which, even after going to the univesity medical school for asssitance were unresolved, but were treated by our family physician (who is close friend and is now an HIV specialist) decided to have her tested. She tested negative (he resolved the yeast issue with a couple of doses of Nizoral) and I tested positive. It was really a toss of the coin...

It really is an incredible story.

Plus 19 years ago you would have been very unlucky to acquire the virus hetrosexually. People are telling me that its difficult to aqcuire it from a woman now - so back then the odds must have been massive.

All I can say is that it is wonderful that you come onto this site and answer peoples questions and give comfort.

i will keep you posted on my situation and hope that whatever the outcome I can use the experience to give advice to others.

I feel stupid because I thought you were referring to HIV, not a yeast infection, seeing that this was an HIV/AIDS site - my bad.

we are talking about HIV.

I can understand your fears for getting tested. I was raped a long time ago when I was a student at a university. I waited about 8 months - they say HIV can be dormant or not detectable for 6 months, then I went to a clinic to be tested for STDs and HIV. It was the longest and most terrifying wait to get the results.

They said they would contact me only if I tested positive, so I would wait and wait finally I called and they said i was negative. I was imiagining I had all the symptoms and I drove myself crazy. Please go to a clinic and they will do it annonymously, fast and you'll have it behind you so you can move on with your life. We all learn from our mistakes and you are wiser now, you wouldn't have unprotected sex with strangers so don't be too hard on yourself, just take care of what you know you need to do and everything will be ok. :)