Just wanted to let all of you know I'm doing a little better. I think I managed to pull myself out of my "slip" and I'm starting to get back on track again. I'm eating what I want, when I want and trying not to count cals or even worry about it for that matter. It's scary to give up that "control" ya know? The counting cals, and being so restrictive. I feel like I eat so much and sometimes that scares me. I have been eating more fat lately. Like today instead of just a turkey sandwich w/ ff mayo I put low-fat cheese on it too and also had a couple of small chocolate chip cookies. Yesterday I had alot of fat and I freaked out about it a little but I feel ok about it now. Me and a friend ate out a mexican resturant and I had a chicken taco salad in an edible bowl. I ate the whole thing, it wasn't really big though and I was full afterward but not "stuffed". I felt a little anxious after that but then just reminded myself that it was ok. I didn't overeat because I wasn't overly full and it was really good and I enjoyed it. So that made it ok. I just need to talk myself out of my "panic attacks" at times. That really helps and I see things much more clearly when I do that. Then we had ice cream yesterday afternoon. I did end up getting ff ice cream but then had them put cookie dough bits in it. I ate all of that too (2 scoops worth in a waffle bowl). I felt like that was too much and was pretty full after eating it, but instead of getting mad at myself, I just told myself it was ok. Everyone overeats at times. So I just put it in the back of my mind and left it at that. I was actually proud of myself. I did have a really light supper though last night. Not because I felt bad and felt I needed to compensate for what I had during the day but I just wasn't hungry. I know I just need to take this day by day and keep doing what I'm doing. I'll probably be on here alot getting advice and support and just venting at times. I love this board and it's been so helpful to me. All of you on here know what's like to be in my shoes....no one else I know does. Nobody else I know understands ED's. Thanks to everyone on here for being so supportive! I really appreciate it!

that's awesome, girl! you're doing so good at confronting the anxiety and dealing with it and moving on. i really respect you!

wow it's so great to hear some positivity :D good for you.. gives us all hope that there is a way through this..i've had a really tough day, and reading that calmed me down a bit...although is there really a solution apart from sleeping when it all gets too much?
xx xx lil xx xx

lil ladee,

if sleeping it off helps, don't feel bad about it! sometimes the anxiety overwhelmes me too and either a nap or a slow walk with headphones (the music is really helpful!) or a shower (weird, i know) REALLY helps me chill out. or sometimes i'll call a friend and talk about anything really . . . it justs gets me out of ED mode, you know? i think it's good to look for lots of ways to soothe yourself, but if you've found that sleeping works, then go for it! i think over time, as we recover and gain confidence without the ED, it gets easier to soothe the anxiety quickly. anyway, just my two cents!

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