HI everyone,

I joined a writers' group a few months ago. I've not been able to attend a lot of meetings, which are from 6-9 p.m., often run over. I've been in a flare, ended up in the ER yesterday w/torticollis and severe muscle spasms.
I have to take strong pain meds and muscle relaxant now, and am still in pain.

I wrote the organizer of the group, saying that I would come this Wednesday if I could, but that I'd been to the ER and wasn't sure about the meeting.
The other times, I missed simply because I give out around 6 or 7 p.m. and have to sleep for a couple of hours.

I didn't go into details to her. But she answered "Come out of your funk."

I feel awful. I'm in pain and exhausted, not in a "funk".

How have you all handled this kind of thing? I am just feeling hurt and as if she is telling me I'm just depressed.

Thanks, peace,

Seaturtle

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH! Your post e

















minded me how ignorant and cruel people can be when they don,t have a clue what someone is going through,
I have had Fibro for a long time now, Mine was brought on by my severe depression, somedays I can barely stand it I hurt so bad, I have one Flare after another, So I know exactly what your going through

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH! Your post reminded me how ignorant and insensitive some people can be, I have had Fibro for many years and have alot of Flares so I know exactly how you feel
By that time of the evening I,m ready to pass out, which I sometimes do
There is literally know way I would be able to take any kind of class in the day time let alone during the evening LOL
I use to be on the go all the time but now a days I feel like I,ve been run over by a Semi
Don,t worry what people say, You know how you feel and thats all that matters
Gentle Hugz, Debora E. :wave:
















minded me how ignorant and cruel people can be when they don,t have a clue what someone is going through,
I have had Fibro for a long time now, Mine was brought on by my severe depression, somedays I can barely stand it I hurt so bad, I have one Flare after another, So I know exactly what your going through

I think you have two choices...One is to explain the illness, in what ever way you are comfortable, so that the group knows it is not because you don't want to come..but you are sick. OR just ignore the commentary by people that probably really don't care about your health at all...and show up when you can...and don't when you can't.
One thing about this illness I am learning ( officially I have had it for 3 years) is that even the people that REALLY love me...don't understand...I just had a friend tell me that when we move ( from WI to KY) that I had a big responsibility in this move to get involved in the community..because my husband would be busy with his new job...and wouldn't have time to baby sit me all the time...
I was a bit taken aback by the comment...but what I realized is that he just really doesn't understand what it is I am dealing with...and I chose to just agree with him..My husband DOES understand....and that is what matters to me!

HI seaturtle,

Sorry you are having such a "funk" :eek: It is SO difficult to deal with physical problems that others don't understand. If you had a broken leg, they could see it. It would eventually heal - usually completely with no problems lingering..........but FM, even if you "get it in control" seems to come back full force every now and then.

You said this is a writers' group. Is it possible to WRITE a paper backed up with professional articles about FM? Make a copy for everyone or at least to give to the organizer of the group.

Peace to you also, Seaturtle. :angel: I hope life improves for you soon!

Jewel

Hello Seaturtle, I've come to one conclusion, people's minds are
made up and all the explaining in the world will not change them
because if some people can't see it, it's simply not there.....I get
the same response from my church family, many of them can't
understand why I'm not as active as I was 40 years ago. I've quit
explaining to anyone about fibromyalgia, even to mecdical folks.
Yesterday I had eye surgery and as the nurse filled out some paper
work, I could see in her expression that to her, fibro was only another
name for depression. Maybe someday we'll have some answers; until
then we need to support each other and love ourselves. We're having
a beautiful day here in Alabama...Love to all
Bilij

Hello SeaTurtle, sorry you are having to deal with ignorant and rude people. First of all, she is being highly unprofessional as her role as organizer to assume she knows your diagnosis and offers up the remedy of "get out of your funk". For Pete's sake! I tell my 13 year old this when he sulks, not when someone is dealing with a life altering illness. My suggestion: Print off all these responses from these other folks that are just "in a funk", and tell her that her comments were not only rude and unprofessional, but also medically inept. Sometimes education with some back up info helps, sometimes "they" never get it! Hope you feel better soon!
~Mim :wave:

Thank you very much, everyone, for writing to my post. The support and understanding make such a difference.
We have to tangle with so much: stigma, isolation, judgements from others, insurance, medication and side-effects....it goes on and on. And then there is the pain and fatigue.
I think everyone here is just wonderful, and we have the courage to deal with it all and still go on.
You're all in my thoughts tonight,
Peace and blessings.

Seaturtle

I'd start off by telling this person that you really want to do this writing thing that it important to you but that you have a chronic illness, she might let it go at that, if she asks what kind, tell her and explain that there are times it prevent you from doing even the everyday normal boring stuff like dishes, and laundry. That your fibro is severe and it can flare up at amytime with no warning. If she act like fibro no big deal or it not real, offer her the name of a good fibro website, if she checks it out then she cares if not then you better off looking for some other writing group somewhere cause apparently she has a closed mind.
Try not to let it bother you too much. In the over allscheme of yur life, this lady is not important enough for you to get upset about.

April said it all, in the overall scheme of things this lady is not worth getting upset about. If she doesn't know what is wrong with you, perhaps she just used that phrase as a writer to refer to a general overall illness. Granted, a poor choice of words for someone who professes to be the leader of a writing group.

If it would make you feel better for her to know, tell her about fibro and that it limits your abilities to participate sometimes. Tell her about the profound fatigue you feel and let her know you are not using fibro as an excuse for yourself but rather to educate her so she will not offend anyone else by using the same offhanded comment about being in a funk, since this could cut short her career as an organizer were she to offend others with the same comment.

Maybe that was a little too sarcastic.....you think? Nah! she probable wouldn't get it anyway.

Good Luck

Glojer