hey everyone, just wondering how people have gone about this, or if they have.. basically, i've been with someone for a while now, and he kinda knows that there is a problem, but not to the extent that i'm on fluoxetine and seeing a therapist. i know that he'll be really understanding about it, but am just nervous about explaining the whole thing..
it has got to the point where i think he ought to know, but just don't know how to go about it..

help!

x x xx lil xx x x

oh, and happy valentines to all.. may all your dreams come true :)

Happy Valentines to you (and your sweetie) too!

Okay, so here's the deal: it's gonna be awkward. probably really awkward (especially when you first start talking!)

i live with my boyfriend, so he found things out gradually as my disorder progressed (this was pre-therapy), and basically every time i would start out meaning to say one little thing about me being anorexic and a whole bunch more would pour out. it was like i couldn't wait to get it off my chest! and having him (and later, my parents and friends) know everything about my ED was so, SO freeing. ed's are so secretive and opening up really brings you closer to the people you love, so i think it's great that you're gonna tell him.

basically, you just gotta do it. you just gotta say you have something to tell him and then open the floodgates and let it all pour out. tell him everything so you feel like you don't have to hide anything anymore. talk slowly so he can digest the information (p.s.- he probably already knows more than you think he does) and let him ask questions. explain what you can and talk about the parts you yourself don't yet understand. and after that, do something fun like renting a movie! it'll ease the mood.

be ready to cry as you try to talk (i did. it's so much pressure being let off your shoulders!) also, make sure he knows you want this to be an "open" subject that you two can talk about anytime. and then DO continue to talk about it (chances are it'll take him a little while to fully understand it all). talk about it openly and often so neither of you feel uncomfortable about "the issue." my bf and i talk about my ed ALL the time . . . it's kind of like my daily form of therapy, you know? he really cares, plus he understands it now (but that took LOTS of explaining and LOTS of time and experiences. it's hard for people (especially men!) to grasp the feelings, habits, etc. associated with an ED if they've never had one)

anyway, good luck and just pick a time and do it! it's gonna be hard, but you'll be SO glad you did.

Jonistyle is sooo right about what she said about it being freeing to let the most significant people in your lives in on your ED. And she's probably right about your boyfriend knowing more than you think he does already. When my husband and parents found out about mine, I found out they really all knew there was a definite problem (people see that you have lost a lot of weight or that you are acting differently or whatever), even though you don't think they do. I had no idea I looked so much different until people started confronting me. When I finally admitted I had a problem, they became really supportive, esp. my husband. I think you'll be surprised at how much better you'll feel after you've told your bf.

Keep us posted on how you're doing.
And remember, don't overthink it, just take a deep breath and start talking, that's the only way you'll get the nerve up to do it. You can do it! :)