Hi.

I had a low risk encounter with another male. Stupid drunken thing, immediately went to get tested and and was negative. I was also advised by the health advisor that the risk was really very low. Sadly 8days later I get a fever, sore throat, lack of appetite. The fever went in a day but the sore throat still continues (3rd day after my fever), with my tongue looking gross (white and a bit yellow), went to the doctor who gave me antibiotics for the throat (didn't mention anything about my possible exposure to hiv). All those symptoms point to ARS, I know it's pretty pointless dwelling on it but I cant help, I am very anxious, not eating, and to be honest extremely depressed about it. I have to also point out i didnt start researching ARS symptoms till AFTER the onset of what im experiencing. Don't really know what im asking for here, i guess having somewhere to actually type my fears is good, but i guess this is a medical board not support. Questions id be interested in is has there been really good research on ARS, as there seems to be some conflicting information out there. How soon after ARS symptoms stop will antibodies be produced, the idea of waiting three months is making me so upset. Also how many ars symptoms do an average person get, the fever only lasted a day but sore throat for 3 days now and gross tongue, could be thrush? A big problem is that i am in a three year relationship, and my whole relationship could be over because of one stupid drunk fumble. Thanks for reading this. Feeling very alone.

Before I answer what I think are your questions, let me ask you a couple: The low-risk encounter: was is oral and were the receptive person or the active person? If anal, were you receptive or active and were either of you wearing a condom?

Ok, answer when you can but here's what I think: guilt, anxiety, and anything that appears to be symptomatic, all freak us out at one time or another. So, hang in there. This is why I don't think it's HIV (if you can add some additional information about the encounter): first of all, the durationg of time that lapsed between the encounter and your fever and sore throat does not appear to be sufficient to ARS. Secondly, the issue about the toungue could be thrush only if where so incredible painful your couldn't stand to eat or drink. IT is conceivable that the tounge issues are related to the antibiotics and frequently antibiotics, while destroying the natural flora in the body does nothign to replace it.

The fact is, as I have said here repeatedly, sometimes a cold is just a cold. Crappy and yucky but so very coincidental to your exposure.

I am curious about "immediately went to get tested and was negative." What kind of test did you undergo? Define immediate. Because most conclusive tests are not conclusive until after the 90 day window. chris

Hi Chris

Thank you for your post.

About the encounter we were fumbling feeling each other and he fingered me (anally), quite roughly, im not used to that particular act. Needless to say i was drunk, sigh.

Now, I appreciate the risks are very low, its simply because i am getting some very odd symtpoms that I am starting to panic.

I went to get tested purely so I could re-assure myself of my current status, it was a 1 hour standard antibody test. It was only 3or4 days after the event. After the test I resolved to get another one in three months and pretty much forgot about it. I really only did start freaking out once I got fever, sore throat, and a white tongue. Throat still sore, tongue still odd. But no pain with regards tongue.

Ok, the risk isnt exactly the same as unprotected anal sex, but my mind is going a bit down the ".... what if he had a cut, what if i had a cut etc" Yesterday was bad, two days of not eating, not sleeping much etc had sort of taken its toll. I still have this constant nagging doubt but I cant spend the next three months not eating and stressing.

I hear what you say about guilt and anxiety, and when im trying to be rational I appreciate that this could just be really bad timing for getting throat infection and fever etc. I obviously wont have any type of sex with my current partner for the next three months. I guess i'm more angry that one stupid drunk mistake could cost me my relationship.

With regards ARS symtpoms I've read the symptoms begin within two weeks of possible exposure. But then this is driving me crazy, im just hoping any symptoms i have can go and that the next "10 and a bit" weeks go quickly.

Many people have had "tell tale"signs of HIV, and have been proven to be okay..with the ARS, some people experiece it, but not always...and if you do, it's going to be anything from a small cold, to a full out flu....and remember, flus and colds are easy to catch, as well as coutnless other particles our bodies dont recognize....everything will be okay, i agree that guilt has a large role in this...we're in this with you, every step of the way...
-S-

You can't let it stress you out. I know what you are going through. Its hard but you have to have faith and have to think positively. And symptoms mean nothing with or without stress. There isnt anything i can say to make you worry less but if it helps, think about how lucky you are to be here at whatever age you are and ALIVE. They're are worse things that can happen to someone than getting HIV. People die everday never knowing that day was going to be their last. They die saying if i only had another hour. After this experience your outlook on life will change for the better, watever the results. (which from what you have described WILL be negative). God bless.

Hello

I really want to thank the three of you for your kind words and advice. It does mean a lot.

Throat still sore, tongue looks like its thrush, started a cough, even though the risk was low, mind going crazy, sigh.

Last night was bad, so im going to try and do something constructive, heading to the coast for the weekend! Thinking long walks by the sea, nice food, I think sitting in my room any longer just wont be good for me.

I am sure this experience will change my life no matter what the result, i just wish i didnt have to wait so long to find out.

Regarding the thrush issue: before you head for the coast do two things: One of the primary symtoms of thrush is pain, intense pain, pain so bad that you cannot eat. If you are having this kind of pain then contact your physician and get a prescription for either Nizoral or Diflucan. You will really want to clear this problem up before it becomes worse. Because you haven't mentioned "pain" I don't think it is thrush.

Then buy your favorite CD (preferably classical and stay away from any "requiems" (the symbolism could throw you into orbit) and have a relaxing time. Keep in touch. :wave: Chris

Weekend not good. Was with partner and basically kept thinking of everthing i've possibly destoyed by one stupid act. Had to wait till i just got in to just break down and cry. Flu and sore throat can be explained away but not my tongue. And the timing.

I keep re-runing the event, the only risks where when i had my arse felt possibly fingered, and i fingered briefly the other guy. I sometimes get mild eczma on my fingers, i guess that might be the route of transmission, or maybe i had a cut.

Im going to try get to the doctors tomorrow to look at my tongue, if it is thrush then i dont hold out much hope.

DEar UK: Are you really enjoying the agony you are putting yourself through? #1: is it possible that you've been on antibiotics lately because antibiotics will disrupt the natural flora in your body and cause (guess what?) thrush. #2: "if it's thrush then I don't hold out much hope". God, the anxiety you have created for yourself is sufficient to throw off the natural balance in your body. #3: we need, seriously, to talk. chris

Hi

Just took the first morning appt at doctors. He said it was nothing, im sure a gp would notice if it was thrush. He said the tongue is a sign of health and it just looks like i'm run down.

Chris, you are right. This is not fun, im actually feeling drained just from all this worrying.

I need to repeat, the risk is statistically low. Im magnifying every little sympton. I havent been to the gym or swimming because I am so depressed. I don't actually think i've experienced proper stress in my life before now and its obvious i cant cope! I'm not going to "know" anything about myself until i take that 12 week test.

Guilt and worry and stress. And its raining, grrrrrr.

It's raining? In the UK? Oh, my God, that must be a sign of HIV!

Look you're OK! Life is good for you! Stop worrying and enjoy the rest of the day. A friend of mine, a poet, once wrote me from Prague that "bourbon has always been a friend to me." chris

:)

Im going to do some internet searching on ways to cope with the anxiety, as my rational side, when its loud enough, is saying that is the problem. I have a deep fear that i have contracted hiv, but i think alot of that could be guilt due to an episode that should never have happed. more importantly, as i am in such a state that i managed to walk away from my car today without putting the parking ticked id just bought on display and landing myself a lovely large fine, i need to chill and cope with this period.

Ive found an interesting site where they say there has never been a documented case of hiv passing through fingering, with or without excema, cuts or whatever. Lets hope im not the first! Now, the words reiki and meditation are going to be put into google! I am not going to google ars symptoms.

Hi

Just an update, the person i had this contact with i have been speaking to over the phone, we agreed he went for a test on friday, he tells me this is negative and i have no reason to disbelieve this. I still have a sore throat(over 2 weeks of feeling odd), and my tongue has a yellow coating. The phone call from him on Friday was a releif in the sense that although i am still worried and depressed about the incident, im not having the sort of panic attacks about it I was having. 3 weeks till my 6 week test.