Martha H
02-18-2006, 06:10 PM
I can't believe this - I just heard from Bill that the elder lawyer can't accept the 20 printed pages Bill got - with great difficulty- from the IRS about Mom's income or lack therof.
No no, it has to be a form xxxx. Not printed copies of things. Not good enough; not possible to send in the Medicaid application yet. He won't send it in until he is 100% sure there is no reason in it for the state to reject Mom's application.
Back to square one. Bill has to get THAT form. He will keep trying. Phonecalls are of no use.
It is frustrating and very very expensive- this surely will mean Mom can't get on Medicaid on April 1, meaning a huge expense for us, or, someone takes her home...
What a letdown! :confused:
Love,
Martha
No no, it has to be a form xxxx. Not printed copies of things. Not good enough; not possible to send in the Medicaid application yet. He won't send it in until he is 100% sure there is no reason in it for the state to reject Mom's application.
Back to square one. Bill has to get THAT form. He will keep trying. Phonecalls are of no use.
It is frustrating and very very expensive- this surely will mean Mom can't get on Medicaid on April 1, meaning a huge expense for us, or, someone takes her home...
What a letdown! :confused:
Love,
Martha
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LuvMyLilDoggie
02-18-2006, 06:42 PM
Oh Martha. It's a big mess, isn't it? Is there any way that Medicaid might retro when it's accepted? They did lose the form and claim they never got it.
Oh but they probably wouldn't admit that.
Poor Bill. After all that chasing around. And all the phone calls you made. I really wish there was something I could say to ease your worries.
And that lawyer should have been specific on what he needed in the first place....
Big hugs to you, dear. Everything will come into place and work out. It's just a pain trying to maneuver things into working out they way we need them to.
Crossing my fingers and toes and hoping everything moves smoothly and swiftly in yours and Bill's and mom's favor.
Shrea Shrea......
Love, Barb
Oh but they probably wouldn't admit that.
Poor Bill. After all that chasing around. And all the phone calls you made. I really wish there was something I could say to ease your worries.
And that lawyer should have been specific on what he needed in the first place....
Big hugs to you, dear. Everything will come into place and work out. It's just a pain trying to maneuver things into working out they way we need them to.
Crossing my fingers and toes and hoping everything moves smoothly and swiftly in yours and Bill's and mom's favor.
Shrea Shrea......
Love, Barb
ToBeFreeToRoam
02-19-2006, 01:22 AM
Hi Martha,
I think that whoever is messing with you and your brother - and to say nothing of your mother, should be horsewhipped!!! Is there anyway that you and your brother and maybe (reluctant) sis, can go to the state agency that handles this and bombard them with all the papers and such that yall have produced in this effort so far???!!!
Your poor brother has been working his "your know what" off, trying to get Medicaid to help your mom. That is so unfair, of so many people just to Not Help! (I guess that is the right word for what they are or are not doing?!)
And what about the lawyer who got all that money (from your mom)?! Shouldnt he be doing a little foot work himself??? I would think that lawyer could get the correct form with just one phone call!!!
If I were yall, I would be calling anywhere/one and everywhere/one that I thought was connected with this Medicaid snafu, till it got fixed! Cant the NH help any? What about a Social Worker??? I know it is easy for me to give yall advice and tell you, that I would do this and I would do that. But, until I am in your shoes, who knows what I would or could do. It just makes me so angry!!!!!!!!!! :<
I am sorry, I hope that someone intervenes and fixing everything just so and it is all taken care of really soon.
We are thinking of you.
Love, Wannabe
I think that whoever is messing with you and your brother - and to say nothing of your mother, should be horsewhipped!!! Is there anyway that you and your brother and maybe (reluctant) sis, can go to the state agency that handles this and bombard them with all the papers and such that yall have produced in this effort so far???!!!
Your poor brother has been working his "your know what" off, trying to get Medicaid to help your mom. That is so unfair, of so many people just to Not Help! (I guess that is the right word for what they are or are not doing?!)
And what about the lawyer who got all that money (from your mom)?! Shouldnt he be doing a little foot work himself??? I would think that lawyer could get the correct form with just one phone call!!!
If I were yall, I would be calling anywhere/one and everywhere/one that I thought was connected with this Medicaid snafu, till it got fixed! Cant the NH help any? What about a Social Worker??? I know it is easy for me to give yall advice and tell you, that I would do this and I would do that. But, until I am in your shoes, who knows what I would or could do. It just makes me so angry!!!!!!!!!! :<
I am sorry, I hope that someone intervenes and fixing everything just so and it is all taken care of really soon.
We are thinking of you.
Love, Wannabe
BarbaraH
02-19-2006, 09:43 AM
Hope Bill finds the right person to straighten this out quickly. It's no fair that the elderly and their families are made to jump throught such hoops. Shame on the system and legislators that put up these roadblocks.
((((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you and Bill! Barbara
((((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you and Bill! Barbara
Martha H
02-19-2006, 09:58 PM
Whenever there is a crisis involving Mom, I can always count on my brother to think of some helpful solution, and on my sister to annoy me with impossible suggestions. It is the same again. :rolleyes:
She finally picked up email about the new problem with Mom's IRS statement, and writes email to me and to Bill.
She says that it is OK if Medicaid does not accept Mom. She says people in all previous generations have always taken care of old people by themselves, with no nursing homes (she forgets that people lived in extended families in the same village, and someone was always home, the mother, a few unmarried aunts, etc, to share this care, and that people did not live to be 97!)
She says we will each take care of Mom for 4 months of the year. Simple. No problem.
Yet .. when Mom was well, walking around, in her right mind and good company, E invited her to stay with them for 1 or 2 weeks a year!
And last year about this time, when Mom was already stage 4 dementia, E had Mom there for 3 weeks and pretended there was nothing wrong with her (but Mom said she had to wear Depends while there!) and E's husband said they put earphones on Mom so she could listen to music and shut up. ...
And they made very sure they didn't tell me 'Mom is fine and scintillating company" until Mom was on the plane coming home. Not once since then was she invited again ... yes, she was supposed to go in October, but then fall and broke her hip.
So now suddenly we can all take her for 4 months at a time? Maybe she means 'let's you and Bill take her in for 4 months each', and then she will expect Mom's life to be over before it's her turn. Or will she come up with last Fall's excuse "I have osteoporosis and stairs, Bill has stairs, so the only one who can really take her in is MARTHA out there in a one story apartment in Indiana ..."
AAARRRGHGHGHGH!!
I shot off an answer - no no no no no. I will not take Mom back to live with me, not ever. She must be in a NH no matter what. Bill already said he would mortgage his house to keep her there, I said I'd sell my car and use up any savings I might have, but Mom has to stay there!
In 4 or 5 days she might bother to read this email and might even answer ...
Meanwhile I feel better already seeing you, my friends, rolling your eyes!!
It's just that it's all talk with her. No action. She promised Bill she would take over the whole legal matter, phonecalls etc and did nothing. NOT a thing.
And out of the blue she says it's OK if Mom can't stay there - we will take care of her at home. Wheelchair bound, incontinent, Alzheimers stage 5 to 6, and we will somehow manage, all of us 60 to 68 years old ourselves with the usual aches and pains .... and I am committed to baby sitting for my granchildren 1 or 2 days a week and one whole night a week .... how do I do that? leave Mom here in bed alone?
And Mom is happy there - entertained, fed, washed, changed, given her meds, tucked in at night, monitored by doctors and nurses.
I surprised myself in the vehemence of my answer. Not, 'oh no, I hope not!' But 'NO WAY!' :nono:
love,
Martha
She finally picked up email about the new problem with Mom's IRS statement, and writes email to me and to Bill.
She says that it is OK if Medicaid does not accept Mom. She says people in all previous generations have always taken care of old people by themselves, with no nursing homes (she forgets that people lived in extended families in the same village, and someone was always home, the mother, a few unmarried aunts, etc, to share this care, and that people did not live to be 97!)
She says we will each take care of Mom for 4 months of the year. Simple. No problem.
Yet .. when Mom was well, walking around, in her right mind and good company, E invited her to stay with them for 1 or 2 weeks a year!
And last year about this time, when Mom was already stage 4 dementia, E had Mom there for 3 weeks and pretended there was nothing wrong with her (but Mom said she had to wear Depends while there!) and E's husband said they put earphones on Mom so she could listen to music and shut up. ...
And they made very sure they didn't tell me 'Mom is fine and scintillating company" until Mom was on the plane coming home. Not once since then was she invited again ... yes, she was supposed to go in October, but then fall and broke her hip.
So now suddenly we can all take her for 4 months at a time? Maybe she means 'let's you and Bill take her in for 4 months each', and then she will expect Mom's life to be over before it's her turn. Or will she come up with last Fall's excuse "I have osteoporosis and stairs, Bill has stairs, so the only one who can really take her in is MARTHA out there in a one story apartment in Indiana ..."
AAARRRGHGHGHGH!!
I shot off an answer - no no no no no. I will not take Mom back to live with me, not ever. She must be in a NH no matter what. Bill already said he would mortgage his house to keep her there, I said I'd sell my car and use up any savings I might have, but Mom has to stay there!
In 4 or 5 days she might bother to read this email and might even answer ...
Meanwhile I feel better already seeing you, my friends, rolling your eyes!!
It's just that it's all talk with her. No action. She promised Bill she would take over the whole legal matter, phonecalls etc and did nothing. NOT a thing.
And out of the blue she says it's OK if Mom can't stay there - we will take care of her at home. Wheelchair bound, incontinent, Alzheimers stage 5 to 6, and we will somehow manage, all of us 60 to 68 years old ourselves with the usual aches and pains .... and I am committed to baby sitting for my granchildren 1 or 2 days a week and one whole night a week .... how do I do that? leave Mom here in bed alone?
And Mom is happy there - entertained, fed, washed, changed, given her meds, tucked in at night, monitored by doctors and nurses.
I surprised myself in the vehemence of my answer. Not, 'oh no, I hope not!' But 'NO WAY!' :nono:
love,
Martha
BarbaraH
02-19-2006, 10:50 PM
Good for YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :bouncing:
CHEERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You did the right thing! As Barney Fife used to say, "Nip it in the bud!"
It is just amazing what Moo comes out with when she bothers to write at all - and then what she writes is a bother as it has nothing to do with reality!! :rolleyes: What is she thinking? I know - Mom can visit her first!!!!!!! :D She'd pretend she didn't get THAT email! :cool: Why, honey, she'd be glad to have Mom if only she'd known before the trip to Aruba was scheduled! You know that! :angel:
You'd reply that Mom can go to Aruba, too! :eek:
How do you like that story? ;)
More cheers and a few hugs - Barbara :jester:
CHEERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You did the right thing! As Barney Fife used to say, "Nip it in the bud!"
It is just amazing what Moo comes out with when she bothers to write at all - and then what she writes is a bother as it has nothing to do with reality!! :rolleyes: What is she thinking? I know - Mom can visit her first!!!!!!! :D She'd pretend she didn't get THAT email! :cool: Why, honey, she'd be glad to have Mom if only she'd known before the trip to Aruba was scheduled! You know that! :angel:
You'd reply that Mom can go to Aruba, too! :eek:
How do you like that story? ;)
More cheers and a few hugs - Barbara :jester:
LuvMyLilDoggie
02-19-2006, 10:51 PM
Oh she's back to Elsie Moo Moo cow again, is she?
Well let's see. You took care of mom for 5 years with some help from Bill but mostly you. Then Bill took her in for a few months until she broke her hip. Now Bill is still spending much of his time visiting mom and taking care of things for her. And all the while never offering one ioda of emotional and physical support for you or Bill. I say you and Bill tell her you both took responsibility for mom for far longer than you should have because you didn't want to place mom in a nursing home in the first place. Now that you and Bill agree that both of you have done all you could, it's Moo's turn! If she thinks mom doesn't need to be in a nursing home, fine. SHE should take mom. It's HER TURN! Your mom can no longer handle being shuffled around from place to place. And it takes a LOT of physical strength to care for a person in a wheelchair.
If you both tell Moo fine, but the deal is she goes to MOO'S house first and it's going to be for 1 year at each place. Mom simply cannot be moved so often. Moo will change her mind faster than a racecar goes at the Daytona 500!
Pllay her game, but on your terms. Then Moo will quit flapping her tail (or should I say mouth???).....
She ticks me off-and I don't even know her!
Love, Barb
Well let's see. You took care of mom for 5 years with some help from Bill but mostly you. Then Bill took her in for a few months until she broke her hip. Now Bill is still spending much of his time visiting mom and taking care of things for her. And all the while never offering one ioda of emotional and physical support for you or Bill. I say you and Bill tell her you both took responsibility for mom for far longer than you should have because you didn't want to place mom in a nursing home in the first place. Now that you and Bill agree that both of you have done all you could, it's Moo's turn! If she thinks mom doesn't need to be in a nursing home, fine. SHE should take mom. It's HER TURN! Your mom can no longer handle being shuffled around from place to place. And it takes a LOT of physical strength to care for a person in a wheelchair.
If you both tell Moo fine, but the deal is she goes to MOO'S house first and it's going to be for 1 year at each place. Mom simply cannot be moved so often. Moo will change her mind faster than a racecar goes at the Daytona 500!
Pllay her game, but on your terms. Then Moo will quit flapping her tail (or should I say mouth???).....
She ticks me off-and I don't even know her!
Love, Barb
Martha H
02-19-2006, 11:08 PM
Girls, I reconsidered and deleted (unsent, you can do that if both of you have aol) that email. I rewrote it and sent her a whole different verson. I said I think with so many people praying for us and with Bill working so hard at it, Medicaid will definitely kick in. I said in those days when everyone cared for elders at home, there were large extended families who all helped. I said it is all going to work out, never mind.
But I also said, if Mom did have to live with one of us,YOU are first on the list , for fairness sake!
I feel better now - anger never helps. I said virtually the same thing, but in a nicer way.
Love,
Martha
But I also said, if Mom did have to live with one of us,YOU are first on the list , for fairness sake!
I feel better now - anger never helps. I said virtually the same thing, but in a nicer way.
Love,
Martha
needtoescape
02-20-2006, 12:23 AM
Martha,
Your sis must really be in a different reality zone... My jaw dropped with an OMG thought as I read your message about her plan. And you showed great restraint to rewrite your message - but I'm glad you let her know she'd take first round of having your mom if it came to that! She may be calling the IRS herself to try to get that correct form. Oh my... I hope things get straightened out soon. Has Bill tried going back to the office that provided the print-out to see if he can get them to do the form instead? What a headache for you all. Don't forget that calling your congressman's office might be worth a try. Sometimes they have office staff that are quite good at getting some action from government offices. I'll say a prayer for this situation to resolve soon. Hugs, N2E
Your sis must really be in a different reality zone... My jaw dropped with an OMG thought as I read your message about her plan. And you showed great restraint to rewrite your message - but I'm glad you let her know she'd take first round of having your mom if it came to that! She may be calling the IRS herself to try to get that correct form. Oh my... I hope things get straightened out soon. Has Bill tried going back to the office that provided the print-out to see if he can get them to do the form instead? What a headache for you all. Don't forget that calling your congressman's office might be worth a try. Sometimes they have office staff that are quite good at getting some action from government offices. I'll say a prayer for this situation to resolve soon. Hugs, N2E
ToBeFreeToRoam
02-20-2006, 02:20 AM
Hi Martha,
I am really proud of you!!! :> You go girl! I do hope that your Moms situation gets resolved, before yall have to spend any money. And really glad that you told your sis, that she would be first. I too have read, that you should not move Alzheimers people (especially in the later stages) any at all, if at all possible. It is just too confusing for them!
I would be having hairy canaries, if I were you and you are doing it so well. I could not be as calm and controlled as you. And yes, I did roll my eyes, when the subject of your long lost sister came up!!!!! She always says something that upsets you and I think that she does it for 2 reason. One, so she will look good and two, just to egg you on. Do not worry about her, just let her walk around in her fog....
Take care and try not to worry to much. We will worry for you!
Love, Wannabe
I am really proud of you!!! :> You go girl! I do hope that your Moms situation gets resolved, before yall have to spend any money. And really glad that you told your sis, that she would be first. I too have read, that you should not move Alzheimers people (especially in the later stages) any at all, if at all possible. It is just too confusing for them!
I would be having hairy canaries, if I were you and you are doing it so well. I could not be as calm and controlled as you. And yes, I did roll my eyes, when the subject of your long lost sister came up!!!!! She always says something that upsets you and I think that she does it for 2 reason. One, so she will look good and two, just to egg you on. Do not worry about her, just let her walk around in her fog....
Take care and try not to worry to much. We will worry for you!
Love, Wannabe
Martha H
02-20-2006, 08:44 AM
Last night my brother said to me "we ought to feel sorry for her, not get angry at her. She is really lost. Deep inside she must know she will never really have to do this, but this suggestion makes her look good." That's exactly right.
Yes, he will go back to the same office and try again, and meanwhile My SIL has dug up a distant relative (actually married into her huge extended family) who just happens to be a lawyer working for IRS. He called her and she said that on Tuesday, her next work day, she will ask a colleague who knows about such matters what we can do. If she follows through on this, we may have found the help we need. However she is a very distant relative and has not been friendly or helpful in the past ...
Love,
Martha
Yes, he will go back to the same office and try again, and meanwhile My SIL has dug up a distant relative (actually married into her huge extended family) who just happens to be a lawyer working for IRS. He called her and she said that on Tuesday, her next work day, she will ask a colleague who knows about such matters what we can do. If she follows through on this, we may have found the help we need. However she is a very distant relative and has not been friendly or helpful in the past ...
Love,
Martha
bellytrouble
02-20-2006, 10:49 AM
Martha sorry to hear all the worries --- excuse me but why are all of the children paying for mom's care? Whatever state you are in is required BY LAW to tend to the elderly - it is not your burden to sell your personal belongings to care for your parents. If whomever has mom now wants to, that is on them. I'm just speaking from my experience - my mother died without ANY money left because all the Freeking guardians used it all for their own benefits .. they have had the audacity to attempt to get ME to pay them back ! HAHA - they dug their own ditch - I am not responsible for the debts that they incurred or my mom's debts. I went so far as to tell them to go to NY and ask HER for the money since they are the ones that mismanged her funds and over charged her for everything. I still have not be able to grieve since 11/2 when mom died because the damn guardians are still looking to me for $$ ... not going to happen ... I paid a ton of my own money to get her moved closer to me in the end for which I was told I couldn't ask to be reimbursed. I bought her clothes, diapers, shampoo, hand lotions, etc. even though she was in a NH ... the system needs to change in a big way. I am so sorry you are going through all this ... it will all work out the way it is suppose to - just stick to your guns and tell them that mom needs a NH - it is probably the safest place for her so she can get the best possible care. PLEASE if you want to stay involved, just research the NH facilities. Here in FL all their reports are on line so you can see the quality of care, the injuries, violations, etc. before you place her.
Good Luck
Eileen
Good Luck
Eileen
Martha H
02-20-2006, 11:11 AM
Dear Eileen,
thanks for your advice. Mom is already in an excellent nursing home. But her funds are running out. She will not have enough to stay there after March 31. That's when my siblings and I would have to start contributing.
We have an Elderlawyer who promised back in November that he would help us get Mom on Medicaid.(for a pre payment of $10,000) She is in NY state. The lawyer gave my brother a long list of documents he had to provide. All of it is in - except that form from the IRS. That agency has given us the bum's rush. No matter how often we call or write or stop in, we are always put off with excuses.
The papers had to be sent to Medicaid by Feb 1, so we missed that deadline, and now might miss March 1 also. We are at our wits end. Bill will go to the IRS office again Tuesday. He's also trying to get help from the distant relative. But so far the IRS is holding up the works!
Meanwhile instead of helping us to get the wheels turning - a few more calls, letters, or whatever - our sister says that's all right. We can each care for Mom for 4 months at a time. She was never keen on the NH soution ..but, was also never willing to take Mom in!
We live in 3 different states. Just her medical/drug insurance boggles the mind, since all of them are NY programs. Not to mention that any time an Alzheimer patient is moved, they lose more and more of their faculties. Mom would not know where she was, if she suddenly got taken (how? she can't walk!) to Ohio, or Indiana .. to a strange house and a strange woman 'pretending' to be her daughter!!!
Not to mentin the fact that one of us can lift her, none of us have a walk in shower stall, etc. It means sponge baths only, the caregiver would have to change her diapers, feed her, make her take her meds, and listen to a non stop barrage of senseless talk and repeated questions - and give up any life of their own they thought they had! I took care of Mom for 5 full years plus 3 months in Queens, NYC ... and I have had enough. My dues are paid, I will not do it any more. And I am sure that eventually Mom will get on Medicaid, but I'm sure it's not retroactive. How can one government agency be so uncooperative!!!
Hope your financial hassles come to an end.
Love,
Martha
thanks for your advice. Mom is already in an excellent nursing home. But her funds are running out. She will not have enough to stay there after March 31. That's when my siblings and I would have to start contributing.
We have an Elderlawyer who promised back in November that he would help us get Mom on Medicaid.(for a pre payment of $10,000) She is in NY state. The lawyer gave my brother a long list of documents he had to provide. All of it is in - except that form from the IRS. That agency has given us the bum's rush. No matter how often we call or write or stop in, we are always put off with excuses.
The papers had to be sent to Medicaid by Feb 1, so we missed that deadline, and now might miss March 1 also. We are at our wits end. Bill will go to the IRS office again Tuesday. He's also trying to get help from the distant relative. But so far the IRS is holding up the works!
Meanwhile instead of helping us to get the wheels turning - a few more calls, letters, or whatever - our sister says that's all right. We can each care for Mom for 4 months at a time. She was never keen on the NH soution ..but, was also never willing to take Mom in!
We live in 3 different states. Just her medical/drug insurance boggles the mind, since all of them are NY programs. Not to mention that any time an Alzheimer patient is moved, they lose more and more of their faculties. Mom would not know where she was, if she suddenly got taken (how? she can't walk!) to Ohio, or Indiana .. to a strange house and a strange woman 'pretending' to be her daughter!!!
Not to mentin the fact that one of us can lift her, none of us have a walk in shower stall, etc. It means sponge baths only, the caregiver would have to change her diapers, feed her, make her take her meds, and listen to a non stop barrage of senseless talk and repeated questions - and give up any life of their own they thought they had! I took care of Mom for 5 full years plus 3 months in Queens, NYC ... and I have had enough. My dues are paid, I will not do it any more. And I am sure that eventually Mom will get on Medicaid, but I'm sure it's not retroactive. How can one government agency be so uncooperative!!!
Hope your financial hassles come to an end.
Love,
Martha
LuvMyLilDoggie
02-20-2006, 04:18 PM
Kudos to you, Martha, for sending a a nicer e-mail and still making your point! I don't know if I would have been able to do that if I were in that situation. You're a good woman! :)
I'm glad to hear there's an insider who can get things done if she's willing to. That's better than nothing. Prayers are working for you. I pray for you, Bill and your mom every night before I go to sleep. I know financial hardship and the unwillingness of some of our governmental agencies to help those in need. I honestly think they throw the red tape in to get people to give up trying to get financial aid so they don't have to pay out the money. How sad that a country as rich as ours treats the wealthy like royalty and the poor like rats.
I really would love to meet you and Bill. He sounds like a very patient, compassionate man. And you're such a sweety! :)
Tell me what is it like to be able to see your daughter and grandchildren now that you're there? I'll bet the grandkids are really loving having you around to watch them grow up.
Bellytrouble, how awful for you that these people are doing this to you! And not giving you time to grieve your loss before the voltures swooped down on you? Money grubbing voltures is what they are!
It's so sad that some people worry more about the almighty buck than humanity.
Don't you worry. They don't have a leg to stand on. If they had POA or were executors of the will, that's what they wanted. So that's what they got. They dug their own hole and put themselves in it. Now they're using you to get out. I hope that rope they're throwing up to you is worn out and that last thread is about to break! Then down they go! :eek: :D
Love, Barb
I'm glad to hear there's an insider who can get things done if she's willing to. That's better than nothing. Prayers are working for you. I pray for you, Bill and your mom every night before I go to sleep. I know financial hardship and the unwillingness of some of our governmental agencies to help those in need. I honestly think they throw the red tape in to get people to give up trying to get financial aid so they don't have to pay out the money. How sad that a country as rich as ours treats the wealthy like royalty and the poor like rats.
I really would love to meet you and Bill. He sounds like a very patient, compassionate man. And you're such a sweety! :)
Tell me what is it like to be able to see your daughter and grandchildren now that you're there? I'll bet the grandkids are really loving having you around to watch them grow up.
Bellytrouble, how awful for you that these people are doing this to you! And not giving you time to grieve your loss before the voltures swooped down on you? Money grubbing voltures is what they are!
It's so sad that some people worry more about the almighty buck than humanity.
Don't you worry. They don't have a leg to stand on. If they had POA or were executors of the will, that's what they wanted. So that's what they got. They dug their own hole and put themselves in it. Now they're using you to get out. I hope that rope they're throwing up to you is worn out and that last thread is about to break! Then down they go! :eek: :D
Love, Barb
Martha H
02-20-2006, 04:59 PM
Here's a good report from Bill about Mom in her nursing home - take heart all you who have to take yur AD loved one to such a place:
Greetings:
Take it for what it's worth: Mom told me today that this is the best place she's ever lived at. Those were her words.
I met her in Arlington today. She was just finishing up her Italian Restaurant Meal that she signed up for. Ann, Charlie and the gang from Brookville 1 were all there. All agreed that the food was great.
From there upstairs to get Mom's coat and saved bread, and back down & outside for an hour of bird feeding. Thirty and sunny out, really quite nice. When the wind came up it was cold, otherwise pleasant.
Mom likes the food, the activities, and the people of B1. I've never seen as much attention paid to keeping the people entertained. The recreation team is there at B1 twice a day. I doubt if any other (cheaper) place would do as well. One lady in the courtyard was complaining about the food last night - a chicken ceasar salad. Mom told me later: "She must be from a different Center. We had hamburgers, and they were excellent".
So no change is needed in the living arrangements. Just have to keep plugging away at the Medicaid thing.
B
It is so very much better than my mental picture of what a NH is like ..cold unfeeling staff, poor food, poor care, lots of drugs to keep the people quiet. It is not like that at all!
Love,
Martha
Greetings:
Take it for what it's worth: Mom told me today that this is the best place she's ever lived at. Those were her words.
I met her in Arlington today. She was just finishing up her Italian Restaurant Meal that she signed up for. Ann, Charlie and the gang from Brookville 1 were all there. All agreed that the food was great.
From there upstairs to get Mom's coat and saved bread, and back down & outside for an hour of bird feeding. Thirty and sunny out, really quite nice. When the wind came up it was cold, otherwise pleasant.
Mom likes the food, the activities, and the people of B1. I've never seen as much attention paid to keeping the people entertained. The recreation team is there at B1 twice a day. I doubt if any other (cheaper) place would do as well. One lady in the courtyard was complaining about the food last night - a chicken ceasar salad. Mom told me later: "She must be from a different Center. We had hamburgers, and they were excellent".
So no change is needed in the living arrangements. Just have to keep plugging away at the Medicaid thing.
B
It is so very much better than my mental picture of what a NH is like ..cold unfeeling staff, poor food, poor care, lots of drugs to keep the people quiet. It is not like that at all!
Love,
Martha
LuvMyLilDoggie
02-20-2006, 05:15 PM
I hope he sent that to E as well. Maybe she would think differently about the NH too? I hope so.
Love, Barb
Love, Barb
Martha H
02-20-2006, 06:56 PM
Yes, E got a copy .. whenever she reads it , I wonder how she will react. B may have written it especially for her.
bellytrouble
02-21-2006, 09:10 AM
Martha: Excellent news for Mom !! Some NH are VERY nice, others I wouldn't put a dying dog in ... If you are unhappy with the attorney - PLEASE find another one ASAP .. I went thru three attorneys before I finally found someone decent and I work in the field myself !! I used to live in New York, but on Long Island -- I would be MORE than happy to see if I could help you find better legal counsel if you want. Just ask !!! I will keep good thoughts that mom does NOT have to be moved ... NOW does the facility that she is in accept Medicaide ??? or are they private pay only ?
Eileen
Eileen
Martha H
02-21-2006, 09:27 AM
They will accept Medicaid as soon as we get it. The lawyer had to be paid $10,000 up front before he would do anything. That was paid in November. There is nothing left to pay another lawyer the same amount again. He is not stalling, he just insists on havig everything Medicaid will demand before he sends it in, otherwise Mom will be rejected. They live in Nassau County which is notoriously unsympathetic to the needs of the down and out. Mom worked hard all her life so it's a strange feeling to have to describe here that way - but 6 months in a NH took care of her life's savings ... however it is an excellent NH.
Thanks.
Martha
Thanks.
Martha
BarbaraH
02-22-2006, 05:41 PM
Any further news, Martha??? You and this situation have been on my mind so much. Hope there's light at the end of the tunnel soon and that it's not an oncoming train (family joke here!).
Really, I think the lawyer should be hounding the IRS and earning his pay. Perhaps you can suggest this to Bill??
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) Barbara :)
Really, I think the lawyer should be hounding the IRS and earning his pay. Perhaps you can suggest this to Bill??
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) Barbara :)
Martha H
02-22-2006, 07:11 PM
No news (is that good news?) The relative did not get back to Bill today. The elderlawyer says his job is to tell us what information we have to gather, not to gather it for us. Bill will visit the IRS office again tomroorw, but he really hates this kind of thing.
Mom is good today. I talked to her on the phone, she knew who I was, when I coughed she said oh, you have a cough, drink a lot of juice. She also said she loves the food there. I mentioned my coming trip and she told me to say hello to everyone for her. If I hadn't just spoken to her a few days ago when she didn't seem to know me, I would think she is normal. Amazing how it changes from day to day and how an AD patient can make a good impression on the phone --- or in person --- to anyone not actually living with them .
Love,
Martha
PS I like the image of the light at the end of the tunnel being an oncoming train - that describes Alzheimer's Disease to a T, as well as many other life situations ....
Mom is good today. I talked to her on the phone, she knew who I was, when I coughed she said oh, you have a cough, drink a lot of juice. She also said she loves the food there. I mentioned my coming trip and she told me to say hello to everyone for her. If I hadn't just spoken to her a few days ago when she didn't seem to know me, I would think she is normal. Amazing how it changes from day to day and how an AD patient can make a good impression on the phone --- or in person --- to anyone not actually living with them .
Love,
Martha
PS I like the image of the light at the end of the tunnel being an oncoming train - that describes Alzheimer's Disease to a T, as well as many other life situations ....
needtoescape
02-22-2006, 10:43 PM
Martha,
I'm glad you had a good conversation with your mom.
I hope this situation resolves soon for you. I would be a bit upset with the lawyer. I can see the lawyer providing the info. on what is needed - but when you've made the efforts and are having trouble getting the info., it seems it is the lawyer's place to step in and assist. Just how much is he doing to earn the $10,000? But then I guess it would be hard to have much leverage with him since he knows there is not money for you to hire another lawyer and he already has been paid. Seems he can make up the rules for what is "his job". I think I would be pretty frustrated (and would probably end up ticking off the lawyer when I spouted off!).
Good luck to Bill at the IRS office tomorrow.
N2E
I'm glad you had a good conversation with your mom.
I hope this situation resolves soon for you. I would be a bit upset with the lawyer. I can see the lawyer providing the info. on what is needed - but when you've made the efforts and are having trouble getting the info., it seems it is the lawyer's place to step in and assist. Just how much is he doing to earn the $10,000? But then I guess it would be hard to have much leverage with him since he knows there is not money for you to hire another lawyer and he already has been paid. Seems he can make up the rules for what is "his job". I think I would be pretty frustrated (and would probably end up ticking off the lawyer when I spouted off!).
Good luck to Bill at the IRS office tomorrow.
N2E
Martha H
02-23-2006, 01:38 PM
Bill just got back from the IRS. He says he got 'something' - maybe it will turn out to be the right paper. Apparently there is no special form for this situation, the IRS clerk simply has to check "other' on a generic form, and type in "Mrs W , SS # ---has not paid any income taxes for the years xxxx through xxxx."
Now he wil bring it to the elderlawyer, and he will (I HOPE) finally get the Medicaid application in. It could be too late for April 1 but surely by May 1? If Mom should live that long? Maybe even retroactive? No idea. At least he got something.
This time I am not going to rejoice just yet .. thankful he got a paper, hoping it will do, but not too sure ....
Love,
Martha
Now he wil bring it to the elderlawyer, and he will (I HOPE) finally get the Medicaid application in. It could be too late for April 1 but surely by May 1? If Mom should live that long? Maybe even retroactive? No idea. At least he got something.
This time I am not going to rejoice just yet .. thankful he got a paper, hoping it will do, but not too sure ....
Love,
Martha
LuvMyLilDoggie
02-23-2006, 06:41 PM
Crossing fingers, toes and anything else I can! :D Let's see. Legs, arms, eyes and that's about it. :)
Oh please oh please oh please let that be the right paper!!!!!
Love, Barb
Oh please oh please oh please let that be the right paper!!!!!
Love, Barb
Martha H
02-23-2006, 07:38 PM
The lawyer is now sending in all the documents collected in the last 3 months, since it became clear that Mom would not get well enough to go home. Now it's up to Medicaid. Target date is still April 1.
Thanks for crossing everything; I don't think you left anything out ... knees? elbows? Not a good way to drive a bus ...
Thanks
Love,
Martha
Thanks for crossing everything; I don't think you left anything out ... knees? elbows? Not a good way to drive a bus ...
Thanks
Love,
Martha
Martha H
02-23-2006, 08:54 PM
New problem: drugs are not covered in the $11,000 NH monthly fee. Mom's drug bill for January was over $700. Why can't she use her low income drug card she used all these years?
Nursing Home: "We only use individually packaged pills, one day's dosage at a time. We can't buy them in bottles of 60 or 100 pills. So no insurance is accepted." The NH has spoken, the NH rules.
Still - if only we get her on Medicaid, the pills will be a 'small' thing to pay for in comparison to the NH AND the pills. I am also in favor of speaking to her doctor and discussing the pill comsumption. It is my opinion that her mind began to go when she began taking all those drugs ... there must be a way to cut down the dosages and thus the price, and still keep her alive but less medicated?
This experience with Mom is already so emotionally draining that it is sad, really a disgrace, that it also has to be so draining of all and any money she has left ... or had left. Before her fall, we only paid a copay for her drugs, never more than $40 for a large supply of each. Altogether never more than $60 to $100 a month. During the time she was still covered by Medicare at the rehabilitation center, they took care of the drug bill. But since being on her own, that too is billed to her home address.
What a system.
Martha
Nursing Home: "We only use individually packaged pills, one day's dosage at a time. We can't buy them in bottles of 60 or 100 pills. So no insurance is accepted." The NH has spoken, the NH rules.
Still - if only we get her on Medicaid, the pills will be a 'small' thing to pay for in comparison to the NH AND the pills. I am also in favor of speaking to her doctor and discussing the pill comsumption. It is my opinion that her mind began to go when she began taking all those drugs ... there must be a way to cut down the dosages and thus the price, and still keep her alive but less medicated?
This experience with Mom is already so emotionally draining that it is sad, really a disgrace, that it also has to be so draining of all and any money she has left ... or had left. Before her fall, we only paid a copay for her drugs, never more than $40 for a large supply of each. Altogether never more than $60 to $100 a month. During the time she was still covered by Medicare at the rehabilitation center, they took care of the drug bill. But since being on her own, that too is billed to her home address.
What a system.
Martha
Sandyspen
02-24-2006, 12:35 AM
Martha,
That is so awful. You know, it's bad enough that we have to wath a parent or loved one go through this horrendous ordeal, suffer through all the caregiving ourselves, then we have a financial burden that is down right outrageous!
I can't even imagine what I still have ahead of me. I feel like I've just begun.
I've called Mom's doctor at least 20 times in the last 4 days to request meds for my mom. The AFH called him 3 times yesterday. I even tried changing doctors today. The HMO said I should call him and make an appt for myself, and explain the situation. I don't know if the HMO called him or what, but he finally called and sent a prescription to the pharmacy. After 4 days of raging, cursing, crying and moaning.......maybe mom will have a peaceful night tonight.
I was thinking today, if someone had told me what it was like to go through all of this with AD; personal, emotional, financial... I wouldn't have believed it.
I hope you're able to learn more about her meds and get some kind of relief.
Do something kind for yourself before bedtime. We don't want any nightmares.
Have a good night, Martha. I'm thinking about you.
That is so awful. You know, it's bad enough that we have to wath a parent or loved one go through this horrendous ordeal, suffer through all the caregiving ourselves, then we have a financial burden that is down right outrageous!
I can't even imagine what I still have ahead of me. I feel like I've just begun.
I've called Mom's doctor at least 20 times in the last 4 days to request meds for my mom. The AFH called him 3 times yesterday. I even tried changing doctors today. The HMO said I should call him and make an appt for myself, and explain the situation. I don't know if the HMO called him or what, but he finally called and sent a prescription to the pharmacy. After 4 days of raging, cursing, crying and moaning.......maybe mom will have a peaceful night tonight.
I was thinking today, if someone had told me what it was like to go through all of this with AD; personal, emotional, financial... I wouldn't have believed it.
I hope you're able to learn more about her meds and get some kind of relief.
Do something kind for yourself before bedtime. We don't want any nightmares.
Have a good night, Martha. I'm thinking about you.
ToBeFreeToRoam
02-24-2006, 01:25 AM
Hi Everyone,
Especially Martha and Sandyspen! I hope that yall can both get all your Medicare, Medicaid, NH, ALF, and whatever else straightened out!!! I would think that a good swift kick in the pants of someone in the government, should get all of everyones health care concerns taken care of permanantly!!!
Ladies, doesnt it just sort of seem like they are working against yall and your mothers instead of for you?! Sounds incorrect to me. It is a shame...
I am not looking forward to what you guys are going thru. At a NH I went to visit, about 1 yr ago, they gave me a social workers name and phone #. Also, in Texas, you do have to be all spent out, and be in a NH, not a ALF, to get Medicaid. And I am pretty sure, that when you get that far, there is no charge for meds or anything. Because, most of the time, you have no money left, when you and me and them get to that point in our lives!!! I do not think anyone can legally charge or make you pay for anything, that is helping you mothers. That is their bill and when they have not money left, the government is supposed to fork over the $. !!!!!
It may be that way in all states or it may not be. I do know, that you do have to try to be prepared about a month in advance, if possible.
Take care, ladies and gents. Rest, breathe, relax and try not to stress to much. I think it will all work out in the end!
Love, Wannabe
Especially Martha and Sandyspen! I hope that yall can both get all your Medicare, Medicaid, NH, ALF, and whatever else straightened out!!! I would think that a good swift kick in the pants of someone in the government, should get all of everyones health care concerns taken care of permanantly!!!
Ladies, doesnt it just sort of seem like they are working against yall and your mothers instead of for you?! Sounds incorrect to me. It is a shame...
I am not looking forward to what you guys are going thru. At a NH I went to visit, about 1 yr ago, they gave me a social workers name and phone #. Also, in Texas, you do have to be all spent out, and be in a NH, not a ALF, to get Medicaid. And I am pretty sure, that when you get that far, there is no charge for meds or anything. Because, most of the time, you have no money left, when you and me and them get to that point in our lives!!! I do not think anyone can legally charge or make you pay for anything, that is helping you mothers. That is their bill and when they have not money left, the government is supposed to fork over the $. !!!!!
It may be that way in all states or it may not be. I do know, that you do have to try to be prepared about a month in advance, if possible.
Take care, ladies and gents. Rest, breathe, relax and try not to stress to much. I think it will all work out in the end!
Love, Wannabe
angel_bear
02-24-2006, 05:00 PM
I do know you can approach the drug companies and request assistance if that's any help .. I know of many women who get their pain killers that way ...... perhaps you could try it for our AD charges?
I am really quite disgusted with the nursing home's attitude .. it's all about $$ .. what exactly does the $11,000 cover Martha? I'm sure as heck knowing a nurse doesn't earn THAT much in a monthly period, and food doesn't cost that much of an arm and a leg .. and if med's aren't included .. what exactly IS that $11,000 doing?
Ok .. I'm comparing to Australia.... but sheesh ......... !!!!!!! the MAXIMUM anybody will pay in a nursing home here is just under $700 a fortnight ..... they have to pay for med's, but they are subsidised under a government award (spend $500 over the year and get the rest free) PLUS you have discounted drugs anyway ($5 per script on an average) before the freebie kicks in ........ you pay for your own wound dressings, bandages, bandaids etc, but even that's not a disgusting price .. food is included, nursing services included, activities included, bed (you can even BYO in some of them) .. you supply your own personal stuff (TV, video, DVD etc)
I think you should all emigrate personally :-) .. and fast !!
Hugs ~ I hope things improve
Sally
I am really quite disgusted with the nursing home's attitude .. it's all about $$ .. what exactly does the $11,000 cover Martha? I'm sure as heck knowing a nurse doesn't earn THAT much in a monthly period, and food doesn't cost that much of an arm and a leg .. and if med's aren't included .. what exactly IS that $11,000 doing?
Ok .. I'm comparing to Australia.... but sheesh ......... !!!!!!! the MAXIMUM anybody will pay in a nursing home here is just under $700 a fortnight ..... they have to pay for med's, but they are subsidised under a government award (spend $500 over the year and get the rest free) PLUS you have discounted drugs anyway ($5 per script on an average) before the freebie kicks in ........ you pay for your own wound dressings, bandages, bandaids etc, but even that's not a disgusting price .. food is included, nursing services included, activities included, bed (you can even BYO in some of them) .. you supply your own personal stuff (TV, video, DVD etc)
I think you should all emigrate personally :-) .. and fast !!
Hugs ~ I hope things improve
Sally
Martha H
02-24-2006, 06:25 PM
Friends, miracles still happen! :bouncing: Bill went to the NH to try and speak to the social worker on Mom's case. She was off today, but they sent him to talk to someone in the financial department.
This lady looks at Bill and recognizes him ... didn't you have a sister who worked at X nursery school in Flushing?
It turns out they had met at one of the International Day luncheons we put on at my nursery school, where her son was for 2 years! She even remembered Mom being there one time.
I loved that kid, and he loved me and the school, and I always admired his hard working immigrant parents.
Well now there is a 'connection' .. we are friends, almost family! Now someone is pulling for us! She got Mom onto a Plan D which will from now on cover most or all of her drug expenses. As a person with little income, Mom is eligible without paying any premium. She also said she will work with Bill on the transition to Medicaid. Now we have a friend in an important position at the NH!
And all because I was her little boy's teacher for 2 years .. amazing coincidence, also known as 'Godincidence.' .. in a 12 million person metropolitan area!
love to all,
Martha
PS - this is what is covered for the basic charge: a room of her own with bed and closet and chest of drawers. Three meals a day. Nurses or nurse's aides around the clock, 3 shifts a day. A doctor is on duty or easily reached 24 hours a day. Entertainment: concerts, parties, sing alongs, trips etc. There is a social director who works full time on providing activities. Mom is bathed, changed. Someone helps her out of bed, dresses her, gets her into the wheelchair (ouch, back breaking, even though she weighs only about 115 lbs) , wheels her to all meals and all activities. Her hair is shampooed, and for a charge a hairdresser comes in and cuts it. They bring her her medications and make sure she swallows them.
That's about all. Living at a good hotel is cheaper, and you might have access to a nice pool! But no medical care.
This lady looks at Bill and recognizes him ... didn't you have a sister who worked at X nursery school in Flushing?
It turns out they had met at one of the International Day luncheons we put on at my nursery school, where her son was for 2 years! She even remembered Mom being there one time.
I loved that kid, and he loved me and the school, and I always admired his hard working immigrant parents.
Well now there is a 'connection' .. we are friends, almost family! Now someone is pulling for us! She got Mom onto a Plan D which will from now on cover most or all of her drug expenses. As a person with little income, Mom is eligible without paying any premium. She also said she will work with Bill on the transition to Medicaid. Now we have a friend in an important position at the NH!
And all because I was her little boy's teacher for 2 years .. amazing coincidence, also known as 'Godincidence.' .. in a 12 million person metropolitan area!
love to all,
Martha
PS - this is what is covered for the basic charge: a room of her own with bed and closet and chest of drawers. Three meals a day. Nurses or nurse's aides around the clock, 3 shifts a day. A doctor is on duty or easily reached 24 hours a day. Entertainment: concerts, parties, sing alongs, trips etc. There is a social director who works full time on providing activities. Mom is bathed, changed. Someone helps her out of bed, dresses her, gets her into the wheelchair (ouch, back breaking, even though she weighs only about 115 lbs) , wheels her to all meals and all activities. Her hair is shampooed, and for a charge a hairdresser comes in and cuts it. They bring her her medications and make sure she swallows them.
That's about all. Living at a good hotel is cheaper, and you might have access to a nice pool! But no medical care.
LuvMyLilDoggie
02-24-2006, 08:00 PM
YES!!!! You know we've all been praying with you (and crossing our fingers, toes, legs and eyes!). :D
Coincidence? I think not!
Miracles never cease, do they?
I'm SOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!! I'm jumping for joy! :bouncing:
Love, Barb
Coincidence? I think not!
Miracles never cease, do they?
I'm SOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!! I'm jumping for joy! :bouncing:
Love, Barb
Martha H
02-24-2006, 09:56 PM
Thanks Friends,
It is great how we all cry together and then we all laugh and rejoice together. It is great to have real friends.
One of my closest friends put her finger right on the reason I am floating and feeling so euphoric tonight. She said , "you have been worried sick that you would have to take your monther back again." YES, that's it. I couldn't have stood it, but I also couldn't have said no if that were the only way ...
I am now floating. No more nightmares. I am free. The system does work - it just takes a lot of persistence and a few divine interventions...
love,
Martha
It is great how we all cry together and then we all laugh and rejoice together. It is great to have real friends.
One of my closest friends put her finger right on the reason I am floating and feeling so euphoric tonight. She said , "you have been worried sick that you would have to take your monther back again." YES, that's it. I couldn't have stood it, but I also couldn't have said no if that were the only way ...
I am now floating. No more nightmares. I am free. The system does work - it just takes a lot of persistence and a few divine interventions...
love,
Martha
cyt
02-25-2006, 10:42 AM
Martha - WOW! I LOVE happy news! That is just great! God does work in mysterious ways!!! As Oprah says "there are never coincidences" It's God's work - Praise the Lord!!! C
dixieagle
03-03-2006, 05:28 PM
Hi, Martha, I just stumbled across your posts while browsing through the Alzheimer's section. Can I ever relate to your situation! My MIL (now 88) came to live with us in AL from CT nearly three years ago. My DH is an only child, and her sister and nephews in CT indicated that she was failing and it was time to bring her here. Very true. She was diagnosed with dementia within two months, spent a month in an assisted living facility for dementia patients, but went into a decline, refusing to eat, and entered a nursing home (supposedly the best in town.) We got some limited help from an elder care lawyer, but mainly started researching Medicaid on our own. Her income is too high to outright qualify, but we were able to set up an irrevocable trust into which all her income (SS, deceased husband's small pension and disability check) is deposited. We then pay all but $30 monthy (her personal allowance) to the nursing home, with Medicaid picking up the rest. The Medicaid office here in our small city was very helpful, but the rules are completely insane. After the account was set up, all three of her monthly checks had to hit the account in the same calendar month before she would qualify. This was nuts - we had no control whatsoever over when the checks were issued or would be deposited! Finally, just before her funds ran out, all three checks hit - didn't happen again for months, but by then it didn't matter. Her income covers about half of the $4500+ bill. For a while, we kept her in a private room and paid the difference, but realized she was afraid alone at night, so moved her to a semi-private, which is covered. Her meds are all covered by Part D, medicare, so we didn't have to try to figure out all that new Part D stuff recently.
It sounds as if your lawyer could be doing more, but, if there is a continuing IRS problem, contact the IRS advocate in your state (you can find that out online.) They can cut through the red tape really fast. I would certainly not pay any more to that lawyer or any other, as you can take care of most of this yourself, difficult as it is. That God for the connection you have found at the NH; just what you need. We refer to the process you are going through as "descending into Medicaid Hell."
No matter how nice the NH, keep an eye on the staff and make sure your mom is kept clean and HYDRATED. My mil just came out of the hospital after 10 days - urinary tract infection and dehydration, all totally unnecessary and due, I beieve, to laziness of staff who will not make sure she is drinking enough, change her often enough, etc. The dehydration thing is particularly galling - mil has a feeding tube in through which plenty of liquids can be introduced! We were supposed to be responsible for $140/day "room hold fee" after the first four days away from the NH, but my husband pointed out that she wouldn't have been in the hospital if they had taken proper care; no charge!
Good luck. I will keep you, your mom and the situation in my prayers.
Marie
It sounds as if your lawyer could be doing more, but, if there is a continuing IRS problem, contact the IRS advocate in your state (you can find that out online.) They can cut through the red tape really fast. I would certainly not pay any more to that lawyer or any other, as you can take care of most of this yourself, difficult as it is. That God for the connection you have found at the NH; just what you need. We refer to the process you are going through as "descending into Medicaid Hell."
No matter how nice the NH, keep an eye on the staff and make sure your mom is kept clean and HYDRATED. My mil just came out of the hospital after 10 days - urinary tract infection and dehydration, all totally unnecessary and due, I beieve, to laziness of staff who will not make sure she is drinking enough, change her often enough, etc. The dehydration thing is particularly galling - mil has a feeding tube in through which plenty of liquids can be introduced! We were supposed to be responsible for $140/day "room hold fee" after the first four days away from the NH, but my husband pointed out that she wouldn't have been in the hospital if they had taken proper care; no charge!
Good luck. I will keep you, your mom and the situation in my prayers.
Marie
Martha H
03-03-2006, 07:24 PM
Dear Dixie Eagle,
Thanks so much for your understanding.
I thought we were the only ones stumbling around with all the red tape wrapped around our ankles.
Medicaid hell - wow - so right!
It annoys me because Mom is not trying to get something for nothing. Both she and my dad worked hard all their lives, contributed to SS from the day it was introduced, and the same with Medicare ..they did not get poor through laziness but by becoming sick in a system that does not take care of its sick well enough to keep them from becoming poor in the process. Dad died of liver cancer and lung cancer in 1977, and I am sure that if he is looking down from above, he is appalled at how his dear wife is stuggling (or her kids are) to pay for the needed care ...
Love,
Martha
Thanks so much for your understanding.
I thought we were the only ones stumbling around with all the red tape wrapped around our ankles.
Medicaid hell - wow - so right!
It annoys me because Mom is not trying to get something for nothing. Both she and my dad worked hard all their lives, contributed to SS from the day it was introduced, and the same with Medicare ..they did not get poor through laziness but by becoming sick in a system that does not take care of its sick well enough to keep them from becoming poor in the process. Dad died of liver cancer and lung cancer in 1977, and I am sure that if he is looking down from above, he is appalled at how his dear wife is stuggling (or her kids are) to pay for the needed care ...
Love,
Martha