I just found out this week that something was wrong. She looks horrible. Shes tired all the time, she looks so white and her eyes are all back, she looks much more skinny and the way that she acts has changed alot. She finally told me that she throws up after everything that she eats or she just doesnt eat anything all day. But i first found out from a friend. I knew something was up a couple of weeks ago but i was not a 100 percent sure so i never brought it up. But, now that i know something is wrong I don't know how i can help her. I was planning on telling some teachers at school but, i think its best if i dont get the school involved. I have no idea what to do. I talk to her alot about what she is doing and she keeps telling me that she wants to stop this but she cant because she feels so good about doing this. She says she likes the resaults. But, i just don't get it. She knows that this is so not healthy but, she continues. I don't know how i can help her and i want to help her so much because i know if she doesn't get the help now then it will just get worse.

What can i do to help her?

Personally, I wouldn't get teachers involved. If I were her, and you did that, I would feel like I was being told on, in a sense. I wouldn't realize that you were trying to help, I would just feel like you were trying to interfer and like you just wanted to hurt me. However stupid that sounds, that's how i would feel. Even though I know logically that it is irrational.

I know what it must sound like. She is hurting herself. She knows it. So it seems obvious to stop, right? If only it were that simple! My advice would be to offer her help. Tell her that you are there for her, ask her if there's anything that she would like you to do in order to help. Tell her how worried you are and that you wish she would tell someone. It really depends on how resistant she is after that. Eventually you may have to tell an older adult that you trust, but I wouldn't go telling a bunch of people. Because it's her personal business, so having a bunch of people know might make her uncomfortable. It's good that you are worried about her, you seem like a really good friend to have. But you also have to realize that unless she wants to change, she won't.

I hope this helps a bit. But I guess see what other people have to say as well.

how old are you two? if you're still in high school, i'd tell her parents. immediately. i KNOW you're gonna feel like you're getting into her business and "betraying" her, but eating disorders are EXTREMELY serious and her parents need to know so they can get her help. also, the sooner that you can catch and begin treating an eating disorder, the easier it is for the person to recover from it. the longer they go on, the more ingrained they become and the harder they are to get rid of.

i know it's really hard to understand why she'd keep throwing up when she knows it's wrong and harmful and she says she wants to stop and knows that she should stop. but the only thing i can say is that it's a "disorder" and it's hard for anyone outside of it to understand the obsession, the control, the power, the emotions and the needs. just keep talking to her about it, try not to judge her and keep FIRMLY encouraging her to get help. tell whoever you have to tell to get her help - parents are best, but teachers (especially if there's one you're both close to) are good too. also, encourage her to come onto these boards and share her struggles. it really helps to talk to people who can relate. good luck with everything - you sound like a great friend.

Hey sweetie - i posted a reply to this in the "weight loss" boards... i dont know if its any help! but hey I thought id try - if you need anymore advise feel free to send me a private message or post in one of my threads!
Love
X Hannie X