I am new here & in need of people in my age range, I have no problem
being 67 but am so tried of being depressed all of the time, do not know why,
just need to talk to others I guess. :confused:
I

Hi, Beckyjean. I'll be 60 in a couple of months and, to be honest, I think I DO have a problem with my age. It didn't bother me to turn 40 or 50 but there's something about *60" that I hate. Outside of work, I don't have many friends or interests and need to work on that so I'll be able to keep busy after I retire. I think that's the key to avoiding depression: stay busy!

AFTERGLOW,
Thank you for writing, know what you mean, I, like you do not have a lot of friends, they all have moved away, to other States, & I do not reach out like I should, not much of a '' joiner ''.....will be nice talking to you,
Becky

Hi, Becky. I've been thinking a lot about this since we started posting about it here. I know there are a lot of women in the same boat as us. Half the women in my department at work are my age and are either long-time divorced or single with no desire or anticipation of getting married or even getting into a relationship again. From their discussions, I know that most of them also aren't involved in social activities; they social life consists of grocery shopping, jogging or walking, computer surfing etc. When they go out to dinner or to the movies, most of them go alone.

So maybe the answer isn't JUST to stay busy or to have lots of friends for social activities. Maybe it's to find a comfort level with ourselves and our lives so that we can enjoy our routine daily activities. I look back to what I've always considered the happiest time of my life: when my two now-almost-40-year-old daughters were babies. I've missed those days so much and have often wished I could re-live them. (Both daughters are fairly far away and are involved in their own busy lives.) But this weekend I really examined those "good ole days". I was dead-broke (divorced from a deadbeat who didn't pay child support), working in a minimum-pay terrible job, had a 20-year old very unreliable car and seemed to be running full-speed 24/7 just trying, often unsuccessfully, to keep my head (and my babies' heads) above water.

In contrast, today I have a job I like very much. I'll never be wealthy but I have enough money to get whatever I really need. I'll have to work another 5-6 years because I'll need to get as much in Social Security as possible for my retirement but my health is good enough to do that. I'm unhappy about being 60 but I need to re-think that and start appreciating how much better off I am, in so many ways, these days.

And I'm going to start looking into activities too. A lady in front of me in the post office line last week told me she was taking classes at a couple of local community centers; apparently the centers offer free or low-cost classes for "seniors" (arghh...what a depressing term), in foreign languages, computer skills, dance, etc. The lady has to be at least 70 and she's taking belly dancing classes! Not my cup of tea, but she said she was enjoying it a lot. I may check out those centers. Maybe doing an internet search for something like activities for seniors and my city name will offer more ideas.

Afterglow,
thank you for your letter, you are so very right on everything you said, you seem to have a good out look,I too have 2 children, one [ Son ] is in Colo. Springs, Co ] he is a Minster & raising his 2 son's alone, wife walked out on him, he is a wonderful Son & Father,our Daughter lives close by, she has 2 sons, & was just made a Grandmother, so I am now a Gr.Grandmother, My Husband is a great guy, we were Married in 1957..so why do I get so darn depressed, who knows.....we are not wealthly, I do have a lot of Blessings, buy have a need to talk to other women, like you, I fell 2 yr. ago & broke my hip, shoulder & one arm, in Hospital 28 da. have a hard time getting around, but I at least can walk,so maybe I get depressed from that, I don't know anymore whats wrong with me.....my social life is like yours , just shopping,[ food ], ha,
nothing big.....We live in So. Ca.... please keep writing...I have enjoyed so much talking to you,
what part of the country do you live in ?

Hi, Becky. I'm in Texas. I've lived in Seattle, Denver and oustide Boston and loved all three of those places much more than Texas. BUt Texas is where i can make the most $$$ so I'm here (until I retire, at least).

I'm so sorry about your broken hip, shoulder and arm. Staying in the hospital for 28 days would be depressing to anyone. I always joke that my idea of a vacation would be to be in the hospital, so I could sleep 24/7 and have my meals brought to me; but that's just a joke. And I'm sure you were in a lot of pain then. I hope you healed ok and aren't in pain or discomfort anymore. Pain alone can be very depressing.


You have a great husband and great kids and grandkids....so much to be grateful for! Maybe you should try to find some outside activities. I do plan to check out the local community centers and eventually I hope to get up enough nerve to try one of the local church bingo groups. I also love reading and walking but those are very lonely activities; maybe we need more interaction with others. Good luck!!!!

Afterglow,
Hi, well you are right, I do need outside things to get into, I also enjoy walking, reading, crafts [ art ], I am still in pain, not as bad as a yr. ago, but do have to take pain med's, have good DR.'S....who knows about pain mangement, so I do not worry about the med.........will get through this, just have to find something with the time on my hands I think, you are right about the being being depressing, it is, you get tried of hurting, but it could be soooo much worse, at least its not life threating....I hope you can get through yours ok, you sound so UP, you will fine, you have a good outlook....
will enjoy talking to you, you are a nice person to talk to, keep in touch, please.
Becky

To BeckyJean. I too am suffering from depression but I did have the advantage of having a doctor who was treating my husband discuss this with me. He now treats me for this depression and I am finally starting to see a dim light at the end of the tunnel. I am being treated with drugs, unfortunately they generally take a couple of weeks to a month to really take effect. But they are doing their job. I would be glad to visit with you. Have you checked into free counseling? In the newspapers they usually list different groups who meet for various problems. Talking to others is what really helped me. I found an online friend in a game room of all places, but it gave me something to focus on and look forward to. You never know a friend may be right around the corner. I am very isolated here and esentially know no one other than my son and a neighbor so my online friends are very important. Take heart hon, help is where you look for it. I should have the screen name as Lost in Las Vegas but I am slowly finding my way. Take care and good luck. Give me a holler if you need to talk.

To BeckyJean. I too am suffering from depression but I did have the advantage of having a doctor who was treating my husband discuss this with me. He now treats me for this depression and I am finally starting to see a dim light at the end of the tunnel. I am being treated with drugs, unfortunately they generally take a couple of weeks to a month to really take effect. But they are doing their job. I would be glad to visit with you. Have you checked into free counseling? In the newspapers they usually list different groups who meet for various problems. Talking to others is what really helped me. I found an online friend in a game room of all places, but it gave me something to focus on and look forward to. You never know a friend may be right around the corner. I am very isolated here and esentially know no one other than my son and a neighbor so my online friends are very important. Take heart hon, help is where you look for it. I should have the screen name as Lost in Las Vegas but I am slowly finding my way. Take care and good luck. Give me a holler if you need to talk.

To Sherry, What is it about being 67? Me too, and depressed (plenty to be depressed about). Think it would be so helpful if the few of us could somehow communicate. I don't think anybody has any quick answers, just talking would help in my opinion. I don't think misery loves company, but just to know there are others with similar problems makes mine not seem so strange or terrible. You never know when any little hint might turn on a light that could bring just a little relief. Let me hear from you!

becky, no reason to be depressed over your age. are you sure it is not something else? age is mind over matter. you can be depressed over anything if you let it happen. tomorrow i will be going to a psychiatrist for the 1st time in my life. i have rsd and i am 41. i am going to him because i do not want this disease to run my life. i have an 8 yr old girl and a very soon to be 16 year old boy (Aug 18). i feel like i'm missing out on thier lives and i'm letting them down so i am doing this for all of us. my parents are both 70 and just celebrated their 50th in mat, my mom is 70 going on 50 and my dod is 50 going on 100, they are making their own choices. i tell my mom all the time, you do what makes you happy and he does what makes him happy. what ever bothers you becky, there is a solution. find the right person to help, a child, friend, or professional, ir is worth it beck, 67 is still very young these days, to me, it gets younger rvery day:angel: have a great night, patti:D

Beckyjean...about your pain. I am 55, had back surgery 18 mo. ago to replace the lower lumbar discs with cages, laminectomy, rods pins screws and fixed a 16 degree curvature. 8.5 hours of surgery. the next day when the "therapists" (and I use that term loosely) came and got me up out of bed my back broke above the fusion.:eek: when i told them something was wrong, i was ignored etc. for 1 week they got me up with a broken back and walked me twice a day. Dr. had been at a coference and no one paid attention to what i kept telling them. Anyway, one x-ray and i was back in surgery that afternoon for another 5.5 hours. I am now fused from my shoulder blades down to my tush. i have two 15" titanium rods and 20 screws in my back...that is the start of the next 6 weeks. i wanted to give you the background so you understand that i too have been taking mega drugs (better living through chemistry) to keep the pain at bay as I try to regain the use of my left leg.

My internist finally convinced me that i should try accupuncture to help with the pain and to regain use of the leg. I go twice a week to a traditionally training Chinese accupunturist. I am in my 4th week of going and am starting to experiece relief of pain and am regaining nerve sensation.

Have you thought of accupuncture to help? I was willing to try just about anything at this point.

Remember also, that pain meds can be depressing also....
hang in there..this too will pass...

that is HORRIBLE. what an ordeal. trial by hospital...

you have a great attitude towards it, but, i mean, DIETY, that is terrible...

former long term hospital clinician,

carole

now lissen, yall:

this woman REALLY has reason to be mortally depressed, try to imagine if you were in her shoes?

i'm not saying that depression depends upon one's circumstances, because we all know it doesn't, but jeez....

the best thing i ever did for my depression was ballet. oh, and also working at the homeless shelter, which was one of the most cheering things ever.

that was all before i was confined to a wheelchair, now. now i just gripe about it.

carole

I just turned 67 in August, but I honestly don't think that bothered me. But...one day I was setting at my desk and I thought to myself, "I can't make it through this day." This was like a severe case of claustrophobia and I honestly couldn't see how I was going to make it. I called the doctor. I knew I would never be able to get in to see him on the spur of the moment, but I was willing to see a physician's assistant. They were all busy also, but another doctor in our clinic was able to see me. He gave me some medication that help somewhat, but I kept waiting for it to HELP. I did make it through that day and I think just the thought that I had some medication helped me do that. I then read on the label and the medication he gave me was supposed to be very good, but it took from a month to six weeks to get into our system. I guess I didn't stress to him how badly I was feeling. I got through the week, but it was hard. I then got into my regular doctor. He prescribed Xannax, which has help, but I hate to rely on medication. I honestly don't know what hit me unless it was a side affect of some of the blood pressure medication I take. The doctor didn't seem to think anything I'm taking would cause it. Anyway, it was and is a strange thing that happened to me, but I'm in fear of it happening again. Saying to be comfortable in your skin if fine, but sometimes you-know-what happens.

Becky Jean and Afterglow:

Sixty is nothing. Seventy is nothing. But eighty? Had my eightieth birthday on June 10 of this year, and it bothers me. I'm healthy as can be, mentally sharp, enjoying life. Yet that 80th birthday is hard to take.

If one thinks about it, the designation for eighty is octogenarian; for seventy, septagenarian. But sixty? Aha! Sexagenarian!!

Cheer up. Life is just getting interesting.

With best wishes,
Bill

Fizzickle....These are always my favorate posts/threads to read when somebody 80 or above is alive and doing well. I'm always studing centenarians diets and their longevity secrets. Feel free to relay your longevity living ways to us if you wish too anytime. Many more birthdays to ya.... :)

yes, Bill, tell us your secrets! I'll be 66 Thurs. and still going strong (kind of) but want to be just like you when I grow up...Patty

I know what you mean, I am 65 & find myself depressed about it. 1st I am more aware of it now that my mom is in a nursing home & I see what happens, then I can be feeling good & someone will refer to an elderly person on TV & it turns out they are my age! Or I will see someone that's looks so old & I find out they are younger then me! Now I found out I will be a great grandmother! I don't feel my age or look it except for my arms which give it away, I'm thin & they look so wrinkled with no muscle. I just keep trying to enjoy the time I have left & have made up my mind to go on trips & do alot with my husband so I can get my mind off all the negative stuff. If I spend too much time to myself that's when I think of all those things I mentioned. I'm posting under my husbands name.

Don't be depressed, BillsGramp. Life begins at 65.

Had my 80th birthday party in June. My three daughters and one step-son, seven grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren were in attendance. We all had a marvelous time.

I've had adequate medical problems in the past. Had a massive heart attack at 47 and figured that was the end. Then had 6 coronary bypasses at 55. It was as if the surgeons had passed a miracle. No more angina and lots of energy.

Then about 10 years ago came down with throat cancer. Radiation took care of that, thankfully, and left no residual effects.

A year ago I had bladder cancer. The superficial cancer was removed by surgery. But that's one the urologist checks on every 3 months.

So I pay attention to my doctors, take statins, eat what I want and do what I want, and don't worry.

Probably most of the credit for how far I've gotten goes to genetics. Still have a backbone that is straight, have no joint problems, my hair is still principally black and still with me. I have an aunt 98 years old still getting around and with a sharp mind. Most of my family has been long lived.

In fact, if I had left cigarettes alone, I probably wouldn't have had heart problems, throat cancer or bladder cancer. Haven't smoked for 25 years, but some of the effects remain the rest of one's life.

Have fun, BillsGramp. Wish I were 65 again..

Bill

God Bless you been thru so much & still have a great attitude! I love to meet & talk to people like you wish there were more, gives me hope. I know there's a man in our church late 80's he's great never know it but he keep very busy. I think that's one of the secrets don't let your mind go. Unfortunately that's the one big habit I have is smoking, I am so addicted, have quit in the past but it seems harder now otherwise I have good habits, don't drink, take good care of myself BP fine, Chlorestoral fine, I know I'm a fool to smoke.

I am post stroke many years, I can only get so depressed and then I bounce back...learning something new, excerise your mind, talk and creat friends online. Do something that makes you feel better. I know these are vague but change your mind, when you wake up decided today you will not be depressed. This is normal depresseion not clinical that needs help..

I've read all of your posts with much interest. I'll be 61 next month and really don't have much feeling about it one way or another. I just know that I am better off than I deserve and I am thankful for each and every day that I was born who I am with what I have. I dreaded my 30th and 40th birthdays but somehow I was bouncing off the walls the night before my 50th,
couldn't wait for it! And when I turned 60 this year, I was totally amazed by it. I truly love my life, know I can handle whatever comes my way. Have a great guy in my life - the sex is awesome ( and he's 9 years younger than me!) Most people think I'm late 40's maybe 50...it's all in your attitude.
We've all been thru a lot and need to pat ourselves on the back, smile and go out and make someone else's life better. It'll be a true blessing to yourself to do that!

Hi B.j.,

I turned fifty-five this summer, and after a four year, deep depression, I realized that age is just a state of mind! I thought back, back to my achievements in life, and realized that I am not a failure afterall.

I made two lists, one was my failures and character defects, and the other my acclomplishments and character assets.

Guess which one was longer? You got it, I found out that I am an intelligent, caring and talanted individual. To have a friend I must know how to be a friend, and it is best to start with myself. I believe that your reaching out in this forum is a good start. Another thing that helped me was pushing my insecurities aside and smiling at people wherever I went. A wise man said, "If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours." It's a great ice breaker. Today I introduce myself to any new neighbors, give small housewarming gifts, and dare to be just me, not just what I want people to see. It works! My new friends are real, my best friend is a woman that I have known for eight years. Her fiance dosen't understand, but he accepts it and that is all that matters. I like who I am today, and so do the people around me. I used to think that I was pond scum, now I realize that I'm just another lillypad!

I think the secret to happiness is doing things for other people and volunteer work at this age. It keeps our minds off ourselves.

You know there are meds for depression I took them for a few years but
do not take them now.

I am 65 now and started having health problems when I turned 60...

I have had athroscopy on both knees, have diabetes, macular degeneration
and also have some arthritis.

You know they say it isn't what happens to you it is our attitude and how
we react to what happens to us!!!

Also we attend Sunday school and church each week and I think that really
helps to give meaning to life.

I am married and have a good husband, we have been married for 45 years.

Wishing you the best in the future.....

Hi Beckyjean I felt depressed a long time but I started going to exercises with a lady that lives down the street from me, and found out she's a real nice gal now I really enjoy going we take turns driving were both in our 60's.I also started volunteering on Tuesday's, I sure hope you are feeling better, but if your anything like me I like to be around people. you take care.
Conda