Hey, I dont know if anyone remembers me? - I started posting here, hmmm, must of been back a year ago now! Wow!
Anyhoo - I dont know why im back, i guess Im looking for some comfort.. and i remembered all you guys and how you used to comfort me!

So when I stopped regualarly posting here, I was only at the beginning of everything - i thought it was scary then, but now - every thing has blown completly outta proportion!

I have a psychiatrist - infact, ive been to an appointment today - which was really scary - I have only just told her about how I make myself throw up at least twice a day, that was the scariest thing I have ever done in my WHOLE life! - After that appt i swore I wouldnt go back - i felt so insercure knowing that somebody knows about my purging! Tho today *sighs* i did go back! And ive come out again thinking - i cant go back - but i feel like not going back would let her down! I dunno its so confusing!

Anyhoo - i havent been diagnosed with bulimia, or anorexia, or any other ED! - I used to be what i guess you would consider anorexic, yet now - im more of what you would consider bulimic!

Right now im a bit - wooooo... if you get me??? SOrry - i mean im just confused and dazed -- like it feels my head isnt attached to my body! So i think i need to calm down and post again later!
But thanks if you read this!
And im really sorry I left the boards! I feel terrible - hey maybe if i hadnt have left - i wouldnt be this depressed and this fat! *sighs*
Thankyou!

X Hannie X

Hi Hannie!

I also see a psychiatrist, not specifically for ED, but in the context of a psychoanalysis. I go to his office 5 times a week, that's how psychoanalysis works. You can imagine the man knows everything there is to know about me, the pretty and the not-so-pretty. But in a way, he is the easierst person to talk to, because he wont judge me, and he makes me feel like whatever I do or say is fine. You know I tried to shock him, and there is just no way lol. The man has seen it all already. If you feel that your therapist is being judgemental, then you two are not really compatible and you should find another one. If, however, you get along with your therapist, then relax, she is there to help you and chances are she has seen a lot of people in your situation before and she is not nearly as shocked as you imagine she might be.

Good luck and hang in there!

hannie, i'm glad you're back, sweetie. i'm sorry things have been going so rough for you. take some deep breaths, do something good for yourself and come back later and post exactly what's been going on. you know we're all here to listen and support you. big hugs! and i'll talk to you later.

i know how you must feel...it was so weird when i first told my family and friends. but after awhile, when you begin to talk about it, you will become more relaxed about it. an eating disorder isn't something to hide or be ashamed of. because secrets only keep you sick.