It took a while for me to get back on about the new treatment. Its kicking my a**...btw. We switched meds because one of the 2 liver sots grew a tiny bit.

I'm on Ironotecan, 5FU push, every week, getting Avastin every other week. I'm exhausted all the time. I'll get 4 weeks, 2 off, 4 more on and 2 off before the next CT.

I come home from treatment and I feel nausea, then fatigue that has not gone away. I can't run and barely have the energy to play my guitar. Last week I had cramps, diarreah and I almost threw up while on the toilet. Last Tuesday I woke up with a raw feeling in my rectal area and its been sore and trying to have a BM makes things worse. Since this has been happening for the last few days, it has me really down . When I bring up the symptoms the doc says is all part of the side effects.

I'm really down about it. I even have the nurses worried, they aren't used to seeing me listless. I'm wondering if anyone has had simlilar reactions to this chemo. The rectal pain just started one night to the next and that one is worrying me since my tumor is down there. There was always a feeling down there, not pain, but dull sensation. 3 weeks ago the CT scan read that its almost gone and it had been that way for the last 6-7 months.

Trying my best to kep the music, jokes and "lusty" thoughts going to stay on top of things. I've had other cancer friends say that the cancer eats you up, but the feeling I having is the chemo eating me up for a good cause...
It still feels like I'm withering at times. haven't lost any weight, eating well, getting in some wine and micro brews from time to time. I've been craving comfort foods and sweets like crazy. Not interested in greens for some reason.


gotta rant y'all, need some humor, love and healing

Boss:
Camptosar kicked my a@@ too. I was on the Saltz regimen and later learned that John Hopkins among other institutions refuse to give it anymore, calling it the "death" regimen. Later studies showed that most people couldn't finish the protocol anyway. I certainly couldn't and felt like quite the failure. No matter what or how many different meds I took at once, I would vomit for days and then sleep only to get another dose when I JUST started feeling a little better. I felt like the sh$t was killing me. I'm telling you all this because it drained the life from me, and I scared the heck out of everyone too, including my loving wife and kids.

The stuff seemed to work on the cancer though. Bottom line. I know you and I haven't always gotten along, but I REALLY DO feel for you. My advice is to take it dose by dose, until you can no longer do it. My accupuncturist/chinese herbalist used to work in chemo and she would tell me how there is a point when YOU know that the chemo is doing more harm than good... only YOU can determine when that point comes. Please continue to do your Eastern medicine... I found qui gong and accupuncture to be godsends during my treatment. PLEASE look into it or continue to practice. Attitude is everything and it saddens me that you cannot play your guitar. You NEED to have some help building your energy just a little to get back to your lifeline, your guitar and love of music. PLEASE give qui gong/energy healing a try... it truly does help if you are open to it... I know you are. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS.

I wish you all the luck in the world and know I/we are all here should you need us. We are all here for each other. I know how this can rip out your spirit.... DO NOT GIVE UP. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN WHATEVER THEY GIVE TO YOU!

Peace,
CancerDad

Thanks my dear brother, your words a huge help. I stopped the accupuncture because I couldn't stand going to treatment 3-5 days a week. I did it in earnest for 6 months and when I was do the oxilaplatin with the 5fu the side effects got worse. I decided to stop also with the intent of going back on it just to see if it worked. Having said that, I'll probably get back on it soon, I'm due for a consult with the naturopath.

Again, thanks CD, you gave me a boost tonight no one else can. Will return the flavor when needed, love ya ma brotha man!

I'm going to the beach for a night to chill out and watch my Schnoodle run around the beach, I'll take my guitar and try to jump start the music. I did play a gig last week and it felt great.

Bossan-

Sorry to hear of all the trouble you're having with the chemo, I haven't had chemo yet, and don't know if I will need to, but I do feel your pain in the sense that I told my partner, Dawn, last night, I feel that cancer is robbing me from more than one thing, for me it's the possibility of having a child in the long-term, however, I see for you, it's enjoying the daily things that bring joy and just being right now.

CD is right, you are stronger than what they give you, I am sure you will talk to your oncologist and discuss treating the symptoms you're having, chronic diahhrea and vomitting will make you dehydrated.

My mom had the same problem with chemo, they treated the symptoms, and I offered wondered, like CD said, it is doing more harm than good? Like he said only you can answer that. It's so hard to try and take your mind off cancer and enjoy daily activities when you're almost consumed by it, what I mean by that, is since my recent diagnosis days ago, I think about what I eat, I have put 15 books on hold at the library, I limit certain activities because of my tiredness-also due to the anemia.

The good news is though, you're not alone, when you want to rant and rave, you can post here, we'll listen, I find so much solace in knowing I can post to this board and be amongst people that are going through the same thing as I, hell, what did we do before the internet? I will keep you in my prayers that you start feeling better, and music is a great way to take your mind off things and enjoy life. I hope things start looking up for you soon.

BTW-greens-I've eaten so much kale and broccoli in the past few days I feel like a vegetable.

Bossan,

I'm sorry to hear that you are having the side effects with your chemo treatment. My dh has had two cycles of irinoticin/f5u/lev (no Avastin) and has finished the last dose last Thursday (having ct scan and full body bone scan as well due to back pain on Tuesday).

He too was very fatigued while on this regime and although he didn't have the side effects of nausea and diarroha (sp?),he did have extremely painful heartburn and blood cotting problems.

It's awful when you know that the treatment that is supposed to help you, also causes so many problems with side effects, and I really feel for you.

I won't say keep smiling or think of the good it may do you to continue with the treatment, because to be honest, it annoys the hell out of my dh when people say that, but I will say, I hope things improve for you and that you find a way to cope with the side effects.

Take Care

Maria :wave:

Bossan, my thoughts are with you. If there was something we could do to get rid of the side effects, we would. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming. You know we are all here for you.