Let me first give my history...

for the past 5 years i've been dealing with an eating disorder. The first couple of years were composed of anorexia...binging...and bulimia. after that i got so tired of the chaos that i turned to overeating and gained about 25 lbs in under a year. I finally decided to lose weight the "healthy" way and i had great success; until i started obsessively self-restricting at 1200 calories per day and if i went over the next day (or few days) i restricted and punished myself even further. I also have the occasional binge eating day--followed by incredible guilt and the feeling like i need to not eat for a while. i'm scared to death of gaining any weight right now.

i've finally decided on getting some professional help because i'm so mentally exhausted that i can't live like this any longer.

i'm very happy with my weight now and i want to maintain it; but i do not want to have to count calories any longer because i know it's an obsessive behavior which i feel bounded by.

but, how do i maintain my weight without counting calories?? i don't have a counceling appt. for about a week and i would like to start recovering now. advice/help anyone...

I think it's great that you're so anxious to recover. But remember, one day at a time. This didn't happen in a week and it won't go away in a week either. Are you going to see a nutritionist? I think a nutritionist will better be able to tell you what you need to eat in order to maintain your weight and get enough food. But if you really want to recover, gaining weight isn't going to stop you. Not to say that recovering necessarily means gaining weight if you're in the healthy weight range.

Admitting you need help is the first step. But I don't know if counting calories will ever go away. Maybe it will. But it'll only stop if you want it to stop.

The truth is nobody needs to count calories unless they are a on diet. Normal healthy people of average weight do not count calories. The key is to learn what foods you should be eating.

The simplest way to maintain you weight is:

Eat when you are hungry,and stop when you are full.

When you have an ED it is hard to recognize those feelings but it does happen over time. If you are hungry, you need food. Healthy food. That is where a nutritionist will help, to teach you which foods are the best for you.

When we only eat when we are hungry and stop when we are full we can all be at a healthy weight WITHOUT diets and calorie counting!