Finally got skin tested at the allergist's and discovered I was allergic to most trees, weeds, molds, cats, etc. etc. No surprise to me. My main symptom is fatigue and motivation/mood problems. I've been dealing with this for years and am just frustrated by it. I am looking forward to hopefully getting some relief through allergy shots. I get two shots every visit, one in each arm.
They told me I could get my shots up to 3 times a week in the build-up phase (3 times a week for 6 weeks, I think), as long as there was one day in between. So I've been doing that and have gone 5 times in a week and a half. I think they've been increasing the dosage.
I got my 2 shots yesterday and today I have been feeling sick, like I'm hungover or something. All I could do was sit on the couch and watch TV. I usually have these kinds of problems with pollens are high, but it seems worse.
I'm wondering if I should slow down the frequency of these shots... if I'm going too fast.
Does anyone have experience with this? Should I request that they not increase the dosage for awhile? I'm new to all of this. They seem to only be concerned with too much sweling in my arm (which I don't have, only it still itches over a day later) and haven't mentioned any other potential problems. Thanks.
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Titchou
02-26-2006, 08:33 PM
Probably not. Do you take an antihistamine before your shots? I suggest doing that. It will help.
Anjjou72
02-27-2006, 03:30 PM
Wow, that seems like a lot of shots in a weeks time. I've been on shots for a couple of years (3 shots per visit) and during my buildup phase I was to come no less than every 5-7 days. Then again I also have a LOT of very serious allergies so maybe they didn't want to overload me. Also when I was in the buildup phase, (and whenever they raise my doses) I am not allowed to take antihistamines for three days before so they can get an accurate measurement of my wheal. You can bet I'm popping one before I leave the building though! LOL My reactions tend to make the nurses a little nervous at times.
I think it's a good idea to let your nurses know how you feel because allergy shots can in fact be very dangerous to a sensitive individual who's being overloaded. I'm sure they won't subject you to that, so it's very important you let them know how you've been feeling so they may make necessary adjustments.
Best of luck.
Titchou
02-27-2006, 03:57 PM
My previous doc, an ENT,wouldn't let me have an antihistamine within 48 hours of a shot but my current one, an immunologist, suggested taking one the day of. I have found that immunologists seem to do things differently from ENTs. And in start up I was going twice a week for two shots each time. I was allowed to take the shots every 72 hours so could only get in twice a week. They never measured my wheal...only checked to see if I had one and asked if it bothered me. Rarely did....I finished up my 5 years last November.
chuzzlewit
02-27-2006, 06:09 PM
carrielyne, I don't wish to be cynical, but dr's make a lot of money off of allergy shots. How exactly do you know your alleries cause fatigue and mood problems? There are a ton of things that can cause fatigue, and I've never heard of allergies causing a mood disorder. I also am allergic to molds, trees, grass, cats, etc. etc. etc. etc. I used to have the typical allergic symptoms of sneezing, congestion, runny nose, etc. etc, but once I started taking a nose spray they all disappeared about 5 years ago. Recently I had some shortness of breath and went to an immunologist. He gave me all the allergy tests and then tried to talk me into shots, despite me telling him I didn't have any bothersome symptoms (except the sob which was relieved with advair). On my followup they again tried to talk me into shots, despite not having any symptoms. To their credit they were very upfront with the fact that shots aren't effective for a large number of people.
Anjjou72
02-27-2006, 06:19 PM
Wow, I find it so amazing how uniquely different each situation can be. From the patient to the Dr., some cases are completely night and day when it comes to differences. One difference I see frequently is the one between E.N.T.'s and immunologists and their differing opinions. That I can hardly relate to because my Dr. is BOTH E.N.T. AND immunologist, and I guess I just assumed that most were like that these days given the fact that allergies have such an impact on the E.N.T./upper respiratory system. I've had this type of Dr. for almost 20 years, so I know it's not a new thing.
As far as each individual is concerned, how allergic they are and how they react to their shots, I find utterly amazing in itself. I end up with some pretty big wheals after my shots, and I experience symptoms almost immediately upon getting them. Even more so lately as they recently raised my trees vial. After waiting 20 minuntes, (which is what I have to do when my vials are raised) my eyes were red and itchy, my ears were red (and itchy inside), my nose was red (and burned inside), and I started breaking out in hives on my chest, I was lightheaded, nauseus, and they wouldn't let me leave! Needless to say they won't be raising that vial anymore, they won't raise my grass vial either because that one was due too, and obviously an appointment with the doc is necessary because I am becoming more and more sensitive. Thats amazing in itself seeing as I scored higher than their charts would allow when I got my skin ***** test two years ago! LOL They had to make a bigger chart because I kept falling off it. (wheal sizes) It's also interesting to note that I was skin tested when I was 15, 23, and 31, and each time I became worse. So it's no wonder I'm always amazed when I read the allergy posts. It makes me realize what a FREAK I really am! LOL
carrielynn
02-27-2006, 11:37 PM
carrielyne, I don't wish to be cynical, but dr's make a lot of money off of allergy shots. How exactly do you know your alleries cause fatigue and mood problems? There are a ton of things that can cause fatigue, and I've never heard of allergies causing a mood disorder. I also am allergic to molds, trees, grass, cats, etc. etc. etc. etc. I used to have the typical allergic symptoms of sneezing, congestion, runny nose, etc. etc, but once I started taking a nose spray they all disappeared about 5 years ago. Recently I had some shortness of breath and went to an immunologist. He gave me all the allergy tests and then tried to talk me into shots, despite me telling him I didn't have any bothersome symptoms (except the sob which was relieved with advair). On my followup they again tried to talk me into shots, despite not having any symptoms. To their credit they were very upfront with the fact that shots aren't effective for a large number of people.
I have been keeping a year-to-year diary and I started noticing that I was experiencing the same type of fatigue and "down" feelings at the same time every year. During the summer I'm usually very energetic, feeling good and optimistic. The DAY that ragweed hits, all I want to do is sit on the couch and eat bad stuff. All my motivation to exercise and eat right goes away and I take 2-3 hour naps in the afternoon. And that makes me unhappy and cranky. So that's what I mean by mood problems.
I've known for awhile about this connection and I started tracking my symptoms with pollen counts in my area (the evening news provides a count of all the current pollens).
Last week I felt really good, lots of energy, pretty happy about things. Pollens were way down. On Friday, they started getting high again and I'm back to feeling exhausted, wanting to sleep all the time.
So I was not surprised when my skin testing verified that I had these allergies.
Everyone I've talked to who has gotten shots has told me they've helped them. I'm willing to try it. I've tried a lot of other things and nothing else has helped. I have had other extensive tests for other possible problems and I have almost nothing "wrong" with me. I see a thyroid specialist every 6 months (a top expert who has written a well-respected thyroid books) and my thyroid has been balanced for the past 3 years.
When I went to see my allergist, I basically told him I was ready to start doing shots. He was the one who told me I should try some other things first. I told him I had too many allergies and I didn't want to take a bunch of medications that dealt with the symptoms. (I've tried many of them already without much success.) I wanted to take action that would deal with the root cause. So while I agree that he's making a lot of money off of me, he tried to offer me less expensive alternatives up front and I was the one who insisted on going this route right away.
carrielynn
02-27-2006, 11:42 PM
Wow, that seems like a lot of shots in a weeks time. I've been on shots for a couple of years (3 shots per visit) and during my buildup phase I was to come no less than every 5-7 days. Then again I also have a LOT of very serious allergies so maybe they didn't want to overload me. Also when I was in the buildup phase, (and whenever they raise my doses) I am not allowed to take antihistamines for three days before so they can get an accurate measurement of my wheal. You can bet I'm popping one before I leave the building though! LOL My reactions tend to make the nurses a little nervous at times.
I think it's a good idea to let your nurses know how you feel because allergy shots can in fact be very dangerous to a sensitive individual who's being overloaded. I'm sure they won't subject you to that, so it's very important you let them know how you've been feeling so they may make necessary adjustments.
Best of luck.
I was thinking I would just go in once a week and see how I feel. I may be trying to do this too fast.
The nurses did want me to tell them if I had swelling that was more than the size of a quarter. I had a knot on my left arm this last time that was the size of a pencil eraser. I showed it to one of the nurses before leaving and she didn't think it was a problem. But that arm itched for 2-3 days.
I don't know... when pollens are high I feel bad anyway. So I don't know if it's the allergy shots or the current high pollen situation.
My dad got allergy shots a long time ago and they really helped him. I'm similar to him, so that's why I thought they would help me. We'll see!
Thank you!
carrielynn
02-27-2006, 11:44 PM
My previous doc, an ENT,wouldn't let me have an antihistamine within 48 hours of a shot but my current one, an immunologist, suggested taking one the day of. I have found that immunologists seem to do things differently from ENTs. And in start up I was going twice a week for two shots each time. I was allowed to take the shots every 72 hours so could only get in twice a week. They never measured my wheal...only checked to see if I had one and asked if it bothered me. Rarely did....I finished up my 5 years last November.
I think they told me I could take an antihistamine. I never take them because I don't want to add to my fatigue. They told me I could get my shots up to 3 times a week as long as I had one day rest between. I don't know, seems pretty fast to me.
sneezydiva
02-28-2006, 04:17 AM
carrielyne, I don't wish to be cynical, but dr's make a lot of money off of allergy shots. How exactly do you know your alleries cause fatigue and mood problems? There are a ton of things that can cause fatigue, and I've never heard of allergies causing a mood disorder. I also am allergic to molds, trees, grass, cats, etc. etc. etc. etc. I used to have the typical allergic symptoms of sneezing, congestion, runny nose, etc. etc, but once I started taking a nose spray they all disappeared about 5 years ago. Recently I had some shortness of breath and went to an immunologist. He gave me all the allergy tests and then tried to talk me into shots, despite me telling him I didn't have any bothersome symptoms (except the sob which was relieved with advair). On my followup they again tried to talk me into shots, despite not having any symptoms. To their credit they were very upfront with the fact that shots aren't effective for a large number of people.
If you're taking advair for shortness of breath that is a serious symptom IMHO. I'm not against nosesprays, in fact, I use two different ones, but in the end they, just cover up symptoms. Allergy shots are the closest thing we have to a 'cure' for allergies. I would much rather get shots then use a steroid inhaler indefinitely. Also, in my experience, allergies get worse over time. I wish I had gotten shots years ago, maybe I wouldn't be in the state I am now.
sneezydiva
02-28-2006, 04:22 AM
I would tell your nurse you are having symptoms after your shots. 3X a week is a lot. You might need more time in between. I started out at 2X a week. When I first started with shots, they had to dilute my vials b/c of my generalized reactions of fatigue and increased congestion. Interestingly, I've never had a wheal bigger than a nickel. I guess I've got some tough skin, despite all my allergies, I've never had any allergic skin problems.
Titchou
02-28-2006, 08:27 AM
Carrilynn: Not all antihistamines will give you fatigue....some of the OTC ones will but Allegra, Claritin and Zyrtec typically don't. You might try one of them. And I have to agree with Sneezydiva (which I normally do). Don't cover up the symptoms. Treat them. Yes, allergies come and go. I'm 60 and have been seeing an allergy doctor of some sort since I was 12. Have been on the shots 3 times....just finished up the last set in November. They do work....and the technology gets better every year so I expect this set to last as long as I'm around.
And I forget who said their reaction was the size of a pencil eraser but that's a pretty insignifigant reaction...at least to me. Anyone who has any reaction to the injections ought to ask about using a lesser amount of the serum or taking an antihistamine beforehand. And make sure you get a good explanation if they say no to either question!
carrielynn
02-28-2006, 09:25 AM
Carrilynn: Not all antihistamines will give you fatigue....some of the OTC ones will but Allegra, Claritin and Zyrtec typically don't. You might try one of them. And I have to agree with Sneezydiva (which I normally do). Don't cover up the symptoms. Treat them. Yes, allergies come and go. I'm 60 and have been seeing an allergy doctor of some sort since I was 12. Have been on the shots 3 times....just finished up the last set in November. They do work....and the technology gets better every year so I expect this set to last as long as I'm around.
And I forget who said their reaction was the size of a pencil eraser but that's a pretty insignifigant reaction...at least to me. Anyone who has any reaction to the injections ought to ask about using a lesser amount of the serum or taking an antihistamine beforehand. And make sure you get a good explanation if they say no to either question!
I was the one who said my reaction was the size of a pencil eraser. But I'm concerned that I may have experienced a more generalized reaction than was indicated by the itching and swelling in my arm. My symptoms are not "typical" ones anyway. The doctor understood what I was talking about with the fatigue and motivation problems, but the nurses giving the shots are only trained to look for reactions in the arm where the shot is given.
According to my 3-times-a-week schedule, I'm supposed to go today, but have decided to wait until tomorrow. I'm going to mention my concerns to them.
carrielynn
02-28-2006, 09:30 AM
I would tell your nurse you are having symptoms after your shots. 3X a week is a lot. You might need more time in between. I started out at 2X a week. When I first started with shots, they had to dilute my vials b/c of my generalized reactions of fatigue and increased congestion. Interestingly, I've never had a wheal bigger than a nickel. I guess I've got some tough skin, despite all my allergies, I've never had any allergic skin problems.
Interesting that you also have generalized fatigue.
It also makes me feel better to hear that you think 3 x a week is a lot. I thought it was too when they told me I could get the shots that often. I'm so tired of my situation that I was willing to go that often in order to feel relief sooner. Now I'm thinking that isn't such a good strategy and I need to slow the process down.
It just amazes me that fatigue isn't mentioned as one of the main symptoms of allergies. I have gone for years and years just dealing with my fatigue because I didn't think it could be related to the pollens. If I hadn't kept a diary and noticed the patterns I'm not sure I ever would have figured it out. Not one doctor (other than my allergist) who I have seen about this problem has ever mentioned the connection, and I have seen over 5 different doctors. They've checked out all the other usual suspects and pronounced me healthy. I was the one who had to diagnose myself and make the appointment with the allergist.
carrielynn
02-28-2006, 09:40 AM
...How exactly do you know your alleries cause fatigue and mood problems?
I just read a Reuters news article that said:
"Women with major depression are more likely to have allergies, and allergies also appear to be more common in men with nervous, anxious personalities, a study has found."
Now you could point out a chicken-and-egg situation here... does depression cause allergies or allergies cause depression, or both??? I'm watching my 8 year old son who is a very happy-go-lucky child most of the time until pollens are high and then he becomes very cranky and moody. Who knows... over time as his brain and sense of self develops, if he doesn't make the allergy connection, he may just think that's part of his personaity. Our whole family reacts differently to him when he's cranky and we've said things to him that we regret. (Called him lazy, etc. because he won't get out of bed on time.) I think back to my childhood and how tired I was at times and how my parents reacted to me when I behaved badly and they didn't know what was going on. So when I get fatigued when pollens are high, I usually battle feelings of laziness and inadequacy, I feel awful about myself. I think the whole cycle just perpetuates itself... my allergies get worse as a result.
So I totally think that allergies can contribute to mood problems and vice versa.
Icky_Metal
02-28-2006, 10:03 AM
I get fatigued & experience brain fog pretty badly when my allergies seem to be bothering me. I've had similar problems where doctors look for another cause. Most recently I was told to look into Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which has allergies as a major component. It's apparently hard to differentiate the two. But as SneezyD pointed out, I may have been told to look into CFS b/c the allergy treatments (nasal steroids and shots) aren't working great (although they certainly help).
carrielynn
02-28-2006, 12:27 PM
I get fatigued & experience brain fog pretty badly when my allergies seem to be bothering me. I've had similar problems where doctors look for another cause. Most recently I was told to look into Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which has allergies as a major component. It's apparently hard to differentiate the two. But as SneezyD pointed out, I may have been told to look into CFS b/c the allergy treatments (nasal steroids and shots) aren't working great (although they certainly help).
My understanding is that CFS can be a "wastebasket" diagnosis. If they can't figure out what else is going on, then some doctors blame it on CFS. I would find someone who is an expert in it and not see just a general doctor about it.
I have seen an alternative doctor who specializes in CFS and Fibromyalgia. He doesn't think that's what I have. I've looked at the official symptoms of those diseases and even read a couple of books. I just don't relate to the people and the problems described in those books.
How long have you been doing the shots?
Icky_Metal
02-28-2006, 03:34 PM
I just reached maintence with the shots so they should start to help any time now. There's no doubt that I have allergies, but I seem to have additional symptoms (fatigue, swollen lymph nodes, brain fog, and feverishness (but no actual fever)) that I think concerns the doctors. As you noted, fatigue isn't a "common" symptom of allergies. For that matter, neither is brain fog or feverishness. Swollen lymph nodes may or may not be. That being said, I've gotten feedback from people with all four (fatigue, swollen lymph nodes, feverishness, and brain fog) that don't believe they have CFS. Frankly, I have no idea what's going on any more. CT Scans (minmal mucosal thickening), blood tests, and neurology tests all came back "normal." I'm actually lined up for a blood test of the functioning of my natural killer cells - which apparently doesn't exclude a CFS diagnosis, but if the NKC aren't working properly, I suspect something more than allergies is going on.
I'm open to other suggestions/diagnostic testing if anyone has any experience.
carrielynn
03-01-2006, 12:58 PM
I just reached maintence with the shots so they should start to help any time now. There's no doubt that I have allergies, but I seem to have additional symptoms (fatigue, swollen lymph nodes, brain fog, and feverishness (but no actual fever)) that I think concerns the doctors. As you noted, fatigue isn't a "common" symptom of allergies. For that matter, neither is brain fog or feverishness. Swollen lymph nodes may or may not be. That being said, I've gotten feedback from people with all four (fatigue, swollen lymph nodes, feverishness, and brain fog) that don't believe they have CFS. Frankly, I have no idea what's going on any more. CT Scans (minmal mucosal thickening), blood tests, and neurology tests all came back "normal." I'm actually lined up for a blood test of the functioning of my natural killer cells - which apparently doesn't exclude a CFS diagnosis, but if the NKC aren't working properly, I suspect something more than allergies is going on.
I'm open to other suggestions/diagnostic testing if anyone has any experience.
I actually think that fatigue is more common than most people think with allergies, it's just not listed as one of the symptoms on most informational sites and material. When I mentioned "brain fog" to my allergist, he said, "Yeah, that's the exact term we use in this office to describe what is going on." So it seemed like a common symptom to him.
I don't know, I think sometimes things can just get "off" with your body and you just need to get really aggressive in a systemic way regarding taking care of yourself. Lower your stress, deal with your allergies, eat right, get enough sleep. Look at every area of your life to see what is going on. If you do have CFS, take heart in that many people do get over it.
Keep us updated on the NKC test.
How long did it take you to get to maintenance level with your shots? How long have you been getting shots? I've heard it can take a year to 18 months before you start seeing results. I've also heard that some people experience relief after 6 months.
carrielynn
03-01-2006, 01:03 PM
Even though I said I wouldn't get a shot yesterday, I realized that I needed to because of my schedule this week. So I went to the allergist's yesterday and told the nurse that I might have had a reaction to the last shot. So she lowered one of the shots and I haven't had a problem at all. She said we may need to stay at this level to build things up for awhile.
I'm probably going to just go twice a week instead of 3 times a week... space them out so there are 2 days in between instead of just one.
One weird thing, though. They rotate the shots in each arm. Yet no matter what they inject in my left arm, I always have a more intense reaction there. More itching. Is that normal? Seems pretty strange to me.
Titchou
03-01-2006, 03:20 PM
That's odd...they always made sure that they gave me the same shot in the same arm
each time. These docs are so weird......
carrielynn
03-01-2006, 06:01 PM
That's odd...they always made sure that they gave me the same shot in the same arm
each time. These docs are so weird......
Oh, who knows. I thought they were rotating them. I'll ask again and try to make myself clear with the question.
sneezydiva
03-01-2006, 10:44 PM
Oh, who knows. I thought they were rotating them. I'll ask again and try to make myself clear with the question.
My doctor rotates them too. When I got 2 shots per visit the dustmite/mold shot always swelled more than the trees shot no matter which arm it was
Icky_Metal
03-02-2006, 08:42 AM
I've been on shots for about 6 months and finally reached maintenance with trees, weeds, and grass. I reached maintenance with the mold vial about a month ago. I had to stick with a lower dosage of trees, weeds, and grass for about a month in order to not have a bad reaction. I think it's promising that I can now tolerate a higher dosage... which to me seems to indicate that they are working.
They rotate the shots for me also. And I always have a worse reaction to the arm that gets the trees, grass, and weeds.
I hear you about taking a close look at your life, eating right, getting enough sleep, etc. Unfortunately, that's harder to do than to say. I went to grad school, have tons of loans, and have to work long hours as part of my job. It's a tough cycle to break.
carrielynn
03-02-2006, 02:56 PM
I hear you about taking a close look at your life, eating right, getting enough sleep, etc. Unfortunately, that's harder to do than to say. I went to grad school, have tons of loans, and have to work long hours as part of my job. It's a tough cycle to break.
I know and I completely relate. I think our society just expects too much and we naturally start doing more than we should and we normalize the stress and activity level. So when we cut back we think we're doing a good thing, when in reality we need to cut back even more.
Last year was very stressful for me and most of it was out of my control. (Several family members had problems and that affected me. Plus we moved, which is very stressful. And a bunch of other things. It all added up.) When I compare my allergy reactions this year versus last year, I can tell they aren't as bad. They're still bad, but last year I was nonfunctional a bit more with the fatigue.
Hey, and this month mercury is in retrograde and we're going to have two eclipses! It's going to be a really interesting month!
(I'm not into astrology, but I have friends who are and this is what they tell me.)
I'm having a Really Bad Day, fatigue wise. Walking zombie. Just checked the pollen counts and everything has exploded. My heart rate is also 10 bpm higher (or more) than normal. (I wear a heart-rate monitor when I exercise.)
carrielynn
03-03-2006, 12:52 PM
Just got my latest allergy shot. They confirmed that they do rotate the vials. My left arm is itching way more than my right arm. I never seem to have a reaction in my right arm, no matter what vial they use, but I always get one in my left arm. I told the nurse about it, but she didn't really know why. She's really young and doesn't seem to have a lot of experience. I didn't want to put her on the spot, so I didn't push it.
agentbad
03-20-2006, 04:48 AM
im curious if anyone has had experience with rush immunotherapy. ive googled "rush immunotherapy," and read about instances of reaching maintenance within a few months. there was one study done where you could reach maintenance within 5 to 7 days. with this information i don't see why people are waiting so long to build up.
i am sure this increases the possibility of a bad reaction but still there are ways to safe guard against that. im gonna ask my allergist for a build up for 6 weeks until maintenance.
carrielynn
03-21-2006, 05:34 PM
im curious if anyone has had experience with rush immunotherapy. ive googled "rush immunotherapy," and read about instances of reaching maintenance within a few months. there was one study done where you could reach maintenance within 5 to 7 days. with this information i don't see why people are waiting so long to build up.
i am sure this increases the possibility of a bad reaction but still there are ways to safe guard against that. im gonna ask my allergist for a build up for 6 weeks until maintenance.
They told me I could get 3 shots a week to get to maintenance in 6 weeks. I've been going 2-3 times a week (need to have one day in between shots). But since I was having an itchy reaction to one of the vials, they've backed off a bit on that one, so it will take a bit longer.
agentbad
03-24-2006, 03:40 AM
i took shots a long time ago and had a pretty bad reaction so i quit. now if i get a reaction im not even going to worry about it as long as i can still breathe. the past week i was taking singulair + zyrtec and thought i was going to have a psychotic episode. off the wall anxiety and just felt horrible. shots seem to be my only alternative because the side effects of all these drugs are just horrible.
however, if you take a antihistamine before you get the shots you have a less of chance of getting reaction.
knk63
03-31-2006, 10:17 AM
allergies absolutely can cause fatigue, and when you are feeling lousy, it can of course affect your mood!! i would slow down a little with the shots; that seems like alot in one week....good luck :wave:
sneezydiva
03-31-2006, 07:48 PM
i took shots a long time ago and had a pretty bad reaction so i quit. now if i get a reaction im not even going to worry about it as long as i can still breathe. the past week i was taking singulair + zyrtec and thought i was going to have a psychotic episode. off the wall anxiety and just felt horrible. shots seem to be my only alternative because the side effects of all these drugs are just horrible.
however, if you take a antihistamine before you get the shots you have a less of chance of getting reaction.
Have you tried taking just the zyrtec? Singulair has major side effects for some people.
agentbad
04-04-2006, 08:09 PM
yes ive tried taking just zyrtec but it drys me out something awful. zyrtec and singulair together were making me super anxious. zyrtec alone makes me groggy but now that spring is here i won't really have choice. im afraid shots are my only choice.
Titchou
04-04-2006, 10:40 PM
try taking the zyrtec in the evening...
agentbad
04-14-2006, 03:22 AM
i take half a zyrtec usally before i go to bed at night. there is probably something else wrong with me i just don't have resources to figure out what it is.