:confused: Do you ever think that you will never be normal? I don't know what normal is so how would I know. I never seem to fit anywhere and never feel like I can express exactly how I feel for fear of everyone judging me. How would I know if they judged me? I guess I'm just a little paranoid about what people think. I keep telling myself that I am different and learn to live with it. I guess I think someday I'm gonna wake up and be somebody else or the depression and the need to take meds won't be there any more.
Wow ain't that a funny! I don't react to problems and issues like people without depression do. I just need to learn to accept that and go on. The problem is I don't always want to go on. I have spent so much time in the bed my house is a wreck. It look like a hurricane, cyclone, tornado and tidal wave have been here.LOL You probably think I am kidding but I'm not. I keep losing things and can't find them. If I could make myself straighten it up I think I would be less depressed. Righ now I have a bottle of wellbutrin lost here somewhere. I need it in 2 days. Christmas presents still aren't put up. I'm not asking for answers. I know what I have to do. I have go to do it a little at a time. I get so overwhelmed I can't stay at it for very long. Misplacing thinks make the anxiety worse. I sometimes lose things and never find them.
Does anyone know how to get me motivated to clean up this mess? I have tried prayer and everything I know. It makes me more depressed to live in this mess. Thanks for listening.

Hi Karen,

Boy can I indentify with you. I always kept my house clean. Never even went to bed if there was a single dish unwashed. When my depression hit again that all changed. I have junk all over the place. Like you, I know if I just did a little bit each day I could get it cleaned up. I used to think I wouldn't be as depressed if the whole house was clean. However, now I know if it wasn't the house, it would be something else.

The depression and anxiety are a mean combo. Most AD's don't work for me but I started on lexapro about a week ago and I think it might help me. I have been on elavil for 20 years but it only helps me sleep. Maybe the meds your taking haven't had time to get to the theriputic level yet, and when threy do, they might help you more. I wish you luck and hope things get much better for you...Connie

Thank you for telling me someone else has trouble with their house. I pick up my dgd from school 2 days a week and talk her to her house. I can do anything in my ds and ddlil's house but not mine. I can cook, vacuum, etc. There's is cleaner than mine and not so overwhelming. I am ADD also. I have done some reading about that. When I was younger, like you said, I had to have everything in place before bed and before taking the kids to school. I feel like now I will never have control of this house again and that is not a good feeling at all.

I am the same way Karen. I think the same stuff and my house gets a mess and I will just lay on the couch amongst the mess - I was never like that before this hit. We will get better! Happy Mardi Gras! :jester:

I KNOW I'll always be different from everybody else- my brain is literally wired differently than my peers, and I have learned over the years that, no matter how I try, there are certain things that I simply cannot learn; also, there are certain things that I can do regarding photographic memory that few others can do... I'm almost entirely convinced that I have NVLD (Nonverbal Learning Disorder), which is very common in kids who have OCD and/or Asperger's, of which I have both. So, it's taken me until now, my freshman year in college, to realize that my different brain circuitry is a disability in some cases, but I have to work around it with techniques I've learned over the years to allow the special abilities it gives me, that set me apart and make me unique, to shine... :angel:
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

:confused: Thanks GatsbyLuvr1920. I too learned in high school I was different. Wired differently as you said. I have always taken pride that I am different. My age is playing a factor in that now I know. I know I am ADD, and have learning disabilities, to what extent I do not know. I never realized I had any thing with a name to be identified until my dd was diagonised with ADD and LD. I always knew I learned differently in school but then they did not recognize things like that. I am 53 now. Everything I am affect everything in my life. My marriage, my work, my family, my d granddaughter. My wish for you is that you never forget you are unique and different. I don't feel very unique. Just a mess. Thanks for answering.