do you think that in some way you are a perfectionist? and thats where the anxiety comes from? I think it does with me........

YEESSS! I do fear that is where my anxiety comes from in part. I always have to make "perfect" decisions. I have to plan my life perfectly, thus causing terrible anxiety over what choices to make.

Case in point: I moved into a new house last summer and was excited to decorate come Christmas time. I knew I needed a few new things and wanted to fit some of the old things together, to make the whole house look just "perfect". Well, when I couldn't make a decision about which look to choose ...and was worried that when it was all pulled together it was going to look stupid ...and people were going to think that I couldn't coordinate my own Christmas decorations ...and here I am striving to be a decorator.. I went crazy. I actually shut down from anxiety. :eek:

My husband laughed at me and told me that I have "rich people's problems" and that there are actual problems out in the world to worry about. :rolleyes: I couldn't make him understand the state that I was in. This is just one example, I do it all the time and it obviously gets in the way of my everyday life. Believe me, I have bigger decisions to make than whether I want to copy the look from the entire pottery barn magazine for Christmas.

Please tell me you experience..I am so longing to find someone to relate to! :)

I think in some way because we have so much big stuff to deal with when the little things happen, (like decorations, or people late for dinner) we just freak out, coz it seems to much. I used to think that i should be the perfect mum, wife, should be able to work aswell as run thehouse, and when i got tired of it all it made me question how good a parent i really was and why my partner would want to be with a woman like me. I felt like i have failed at everything, but now i am back to cooking fresh food with and an empty laundry basket, and i am much happier knowing that i can only do this because i am home, once i am back to work properly i know i cant be superwoman, and laundry can wait :D

Me, a perfectionist? Well, I wouldn't go that far...Wait- did I put my commas in the right space?! ;)
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

Yes, I’m a walking towards perfectionism. Like having everything super clean, clothes must be ironed and having no spots on them etc. I’m more of a control freak really, but I think those two are somehow related.
Take care,
Joanna

YEP!!! Like Joanna said, not only am I a perfectionist but I am a control freak. I am one of those annoying wives who nags my husband about not keeping our house in perfect condition, and then when he does help out by doing a chore, I end up doing it over or telling him to just let me take over because he "isn't doing it right."

Me too...I wish I could stop. I'm glad my husband is very mellow and understanding.

My perfectionism is so different from the ways that you guys describe. For the most part, my husband has to pick up after me, finish the laundry, etc. But the the room that I am leaving messy has the perfect choice of colors, furnishing, accessories, etc.

I get hung up on the little choices that I need to be perfect...the perfect outfit to weat to get the mail for example...shouldn't be too dressed up, afterall, I am just sitting around the house, but shouldn't be too wrinkly or grungy. Or trying to figure out which of four pairs of black shoes to wear that will make the outfit look perfect when they all are almost exactly the same!! AHHH! I drive me nuts! :bouncing:

its interesting how only women have replied lol

YES Im a HUGE perfectionist! I know it aggrivates my anxiety alot! :rolleyes:

I am also a perfectionist. It's so funny how I was in therapy on Monday, and my parents came with me. They described me as a "perfect child". I always felt like I had to have good grades and make the "right" decisions. However, it's hard feeling like you can't make any mistakes. I also tend to rely on other people to tell me what I should do, that way if it's the wrong decision, I feel like I can blame them. It is very hard to accept the fact that I can't control everything about my life, but I am learning:)

I also have trouble making decisions. It takes me forever to go shopping...I put stuff in my cart because I want it, then I put it back because I tell myself I don't need it...on and on. I research the best deals for major purchases on the internet...newspapers, etc. I want to make the perfect decision regarding price, value, etc. too. I wish I had someone to make decisions for me sometimes, I would have a lot more spare time...lol! :)

I had my whole life planed out by the time I was 15. Guess how much has gone according to plan.LOL Maybe thats why I am in the boat im in. Well Im dealing with change a little better now. From work to play. I just don't get it. My father always used to say.. IF its not done right do not do it at all... A 1/2 {REMOVED}job just dosen't cut it..LOL God rest his soul!! I miss him alot. But anyway. Why do we have to be this way? I never really noticed it until my therapist said something to me about it. I was like OHHH your right!! So now im trying not do do everything so right anymore. It's really hard to do!!

This is interesting. I can relate so much. My father also made the remark about "half-{REMOVED} doesn't cut it" when I was growing up. I always have to put 100% into everything. I'm having a lot of trouble because my husband is the opposite. His habits give me a lot of anxiety because instead of doing things the "right" way, he takes the easy way out. Examples: Not rinsing dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, not doing a good job when painting a room (not even using tape), not taking out the garbage before it spills over, not cleaning cat litterboxes thoroughly and often, not ironing his clothes before going to work, not balancing the checkbook. Therefore, I wind up doing all of his work as well as my own because not having it done creates anxiety! Just seeing a mess creates anxiety in me. Any ideas for how to be more easygoing and overlook these things?