Min2003
03-06-2006, 09:53 PM
Hello everyone! Today I started research on Nursing Homes in my area. I called and made an appt to one that is about 15 minutes away. Their lobby was in the middle of renovating so lots of dust and noise. However, most of the residents seemed to be in the upper floors. The lady, who was an assistant, met with me cause the Director was at a meeting. The assistant was very nice and made me feel comfortable in talking to her. I had my questions on an index card. The first room she took me to was the recreation room where they also serve lunch. There was a young man there playing the piano. I didn't know what to expect. One patient was simply slumped over with the side of her face onto the table... i guess sleeping. She showed me a two-bedroom room. Nice size, big bathroom. They have an outdoor patio. We went back to a conference table to talk some more cause I told her I had more questions. I carefully wrote her responses quickly onto my index card. My feelings were... "gee, I don't know. It feels more like a hospital setting." My last two questions were: 1. Could you give me a name of a family that has someone living in this nh for me to ask questions? Assistant said "We don't allow that." My 2nd question was: Can I speak to one of the residents here? The assistant said, Sure. We went down one floor and she looked around and we ran into one of the residents and then asked her if she would mind answering my questions. The resident was standing up with a walker in front of her. Her reply was... "Sure as long as I don't have to stand too long. What is your question?" I asked: How long have u been here? Resident says: I've been here since November. I asked: Are you happy here? Resident says: No, I am not happy here. Last night I got sick and almost didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. I pressed the button for the nurse to come and no one ever came. Management here is not good here either. (Imagine my surprise when the resident said all these negative things to me and the assistant!) At first, i thought it would be a waste of time to speak to a resident with the assistant right there... boy was I wrong! The assistant, of course, took the opportunity to ask her if she told anyone of this. Resident said yes and that her son is coming over today to speak to someone about this. I then asked the resident if she plans to stay at the NH. Resident says I don't want to stay but her kids want her to stay cause they do not want her to live alone anymore. Kinda sad huh?
Anyway, I wanted to share with you my very first experiece of this and was curious of your opinion about this visit?
I told a friend of mine what happened and he says that he believes that all residents are not happy cause they want to go home. I can understand that but can't a NH make a person's stay feel like home and perhaps like a happy, lively social club? Is this thinking of mine absurd?
Comments are welcomed...
¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
(´¸.·*´¯`*Minnie
Anyway, I wanted to share with you my very first experiece of this and was curious of your opinion about this visit?
I told a friend of mine what happened and he says that he believes that all residents are not happy cause they want to go home. I can understand that but can't a NH make a person's stay feel like home and perhaps like a happy, lively social club? Is this thinking of mine absurd?
Comments are welcomed...
¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
(´¸.·*´¯`*Minnie
Sponsor
cyt
03-06-2006, 10:16 PM
Minnie- I hate to say this but if you ever find such a place, I think it's called Heaven and everyone would want to get in! Seriously, It is such a shame that NH's can't be more like you wish, and we all wish. But the reality is, they just don't pay people enough and there is usually a big turnover at the NH's, they are overworked and underpaid. I don't think it's because they don't care about the residents, for the most part, I just think it's because they get burned out or have way too much to do. When Dad was in one, we had to beg them to give him a shower one day! They charge so much too. It's just so awful. I hope you find a good one, but I bet the lady was telling you the truth - they probably didn't have time or energy, whatever, to come and see about her. But that's the way it is at the hospitals here too. Is it just here where I live, or does everyone feel this way?? The only NH I've heard about that is positive is in a very small town about 20 minutes from here and is locally owned with the workers being there several years and really knowing their job. I guess that would make a difference. Good luck and keep us posted on your hunt> C
Martha H
03-06-2006, 10:47 PM
My Mom recently said to my brother, "this is the best place I have ever lived." She has been in this NH since October, after breaking a hip in September.
At first all she could think about was getting well enough to go home. But week after week the Physcial Therapy did not have the desired results, and eventually they gave up, and moved her to the Nursing Home part of the complex. (The other part is Rehab) ... there Mom has a room of her own. It took a few days for her to feel happy there and stop missing her roommate from the old building (who I think was discharged to home).
My brother fixed up her room very well with pictures from home and colorful pillows etc. She likes the food and all the entertainment (there is a social director and something or other is going on every day, she hardly ever has time to watch TV or just sit around.)
There are good nursing homes this side of Heaven - it is partly a matter of luck (my brother's new neighbor is one of the administrators and highly recommended this as soon as she heard of Mom's fall and hip fracture) and of course a matter of money. This one is horrendously expensive. BUT, as soon as it is approved , Mom will probably get on Medicaid now that all her own money is gone. And she can still remain there, where she feels so good.
Of course there are days when she wants to go home. But for the past 6 years she hasn't really lived independently - first I went to live with her for 5 years and gradually had to do everything for her, then 3 mos with my brother, then the fall and NH care.
One of the things you have to look for is a clean atmosphere. Not just that the Lysol covers up the smell of urine, but evidence that as soon as someone needs a diaper change, an aide appears with a clean one and takes her away to be changed. NO smells... and the food has to be good, and the personnel friendly. I think in spite of all the trouble and hassles getting it paid for, we did hit the jackpot with this place. It is on Long Island, New York, near Bill's house, only about 5 minutes by car.
There is also a doctor on duty 24 hours, and 1 nurse to every 5 patients (or is it 10 ..now I can't remember...)
love,
Martha
At first all she could think about was getting well enough to go home. But week after week the Physcial Therapy did not have the desired results, and eventually they gave up, and moved her to the Nursing Home part of the complex. (The other part is Rehab) ... there Mom has a room of her own. It took a few days for her to feel happy there and stop missing her roommate from the old building (who I think was discharged to home).
My brother fixed up her room very well with pictures from home and colorful pillows etc. She likes the food and all the entertainment (there is a social director and something or other is going on every day, she hardly ever has time to watch TV or just sit around.)
There are good nursing homes this side of Heaven - it is partly a matter of luck (my brother's new neighbor is one of the administrators and highly recommended this as soon as she heard of Mom's fall and hip fracture) and of course a matter of money. This one is horrendously expensive. BUT, as soon as it is approved , Mom will probably get on Medicaid now that all her own money is gone. And she can still remain there, where she feels so good.
Of course there are days when she wants to go home. But for the past 6 years she hasn't really lived independently - first I went to live with her for 5 years and gradually had to do everything for her, then 3 mos with my brother, then the fall and NH care.
One of the things you have to look for is a clean atmosphere. Not just that the Lysol covers up the smell of urine, but evidence that as soon as someone needs a diaper change, an aide appears with a clean one and takes her away to be changed. NO smells... and the food has to be good, and the personnel friendly. I think in spite of all the trouble and hassles getting it paid for, we did hit the jackpot with this place. It is on Long Island, New York, near Bill's house, only about 5 minutes by car.
There is also a doctor on duty 24 hours, and 1 nurse to every 5 patients (or is it 10 ..now I can't remember...)
love,
Martha
angel_bear
03-07-2006, 02:16 AM
Ok .. my turn for some input.
Nothing is perfect, but you can try and look for darn close. *grin* perfect is our charges don't need a NH ..
First thing: check smells. If it smells like urine, or faeces, turn around and walk out.
Second thing: Check the sneaky places for dust/spills .. eg: behind the toilet, under beds.
Third: check residents wardrobes (check a few because sometimes residents mess them up constantly) ..
Fourth: check residents clothes, do they have food dripped down them? Are they clean? Do they use Clothing protectors (bibs)? Are they changed when necessary or left in wet smelly clothes?
And, I'm sorry to say, but you can't always believe what a resident tells you. You won't know if they have dementia, you won't know if they're on psychotic med's, you won't know if they are, in fact, perfectly mentally fine, the resident you talked to may not have been a reliable source.
If you keep your eyes and ears open, listen to the STAFF talking. Are they moaning about work conditions (a chronic situation in the NH I work in)? Do they laugh AT the residents or WITH the residents? Listen for insulting remarks made to residents, or watch them .. are they chatting to the resident, or talking over the residents head to another worker, ignoring their charge?
You will find most times, you can decorate their rooms to suit their taste. That room is there home. The rest of the area's are common areas, and have to be kept as clean and tidy and clutter free as possible. Clutter creates accidents and confusion, so that must be taken into consideration in their rooms as well.
Personally, I wouldn't go for a shared room .. because there is no separation ... we have a few residents who shut their door at all times. Why? Because then they are in THEIR space, not OUR space. It's an ownership thing, and I don't blame them. They've lost so much already, they're clinging to what they can now.
Where are you? The US have Family Homes which are a lovely step into assisted living (wish we had them here in Australia!) before further deterioration when NH IS needed.
I wish you luck in your search, don't reach for the impossible, but do seek out clean, safe and tidy.
Hugs
Sally
Nothing is perfect, but you can try and look for darn close. *grin* perfect is our charges don't need a NH ..
First thing: check smells. If it smells like urine, or faeces, turn around and walk out.
Second thing: Check the sneaky places for dust/spills .. eg: behind the toilet, under beds.
Third: check residents wardrobes (check a few because sometimes residents mess them up constantly) ..
Fourth: check residents clothes, do they have food dripped down them? Are they clean? Do they use Clothing protectors (bibs)? Are they changed when necessary or left in wet smelly clothes?
And, I'm sorry to say, but you can't always believe what a resident tells you. You won't know if they have dementia, you won't know if they're on psychotic med's, you won't know if they are, in fact, perfectly mentally fine, the resident you talked to may not have been a reliable source.
If you keep your eyes and ears open, listen to the STAFF talking. Are they moaning about work conditions (a chronic situation in the NH I work in)? Do they laugh AT the residents or WITH the residents? Listen for insulting remarks made to residents, or watch them .. are they chatting to the resident, or talking over the residents head to another worker, ignoring their charge?
You will find most times, you can decorate their rooms to suit their taste. That room is there home. The rest of the area's are common areas, and have to be kept as clean and tidy and clutter free as possible. Clutter creates accidents and confusion, so that must be taken into consideration in their rooms as well.
Personally, I wouldn't go for a shared room .. because there is no separation ... we have a few residents who shut their door at all times. Why? Because then they are in THEIR space, not OUR space. It's an ownership thing, and I don't blame them. They've lost so much already, they're clinging to what they can now.
Where are you? The US have Family Homes which are a lovely step into assisted living (wish we had them here in Australia!) before further deterioration when NH IS needed.
I wish you luck in your search, don't reach for the impossible, but do seek out clean, safe and tidy.
Hugs
Sally
Min2003
03-07-2006, 08:12 AM
Martha H. - Thank you for replying. I live in Queens NY near the long island border. Could u email me the name of this great NH you mentioned in the post? Thank you so much. REMOVED.
Please read the posting rules which explain that offering or asking off board contact is not permitted. The boards are to be used for on board sharing, only. The email and private message features are turned off so that use of the message boards remain anonymous. The only contact you may make with members is to post on the board.
Please read the posting rules which explain that offering or asking off board contact is not permitted. The boards are to be used for on board sharing, only. The email and private message features are turned off so that use of the message boards remain anonymous. The only contact you may make with members is to post on the board.
Min2003
03-07-2006, 08:16 AM
Thank you all for your responses. I hope more comments will follow on this subject. I will continue my NH search and keep you posted. I'll probably be checking out two more on wednesday. A friend of mine will be tagging along which will help in "investigating" these places. As the saying goes... "Money doesn't bring happiness but it does make things a bit more comfortable."
moderator2
03-07-2006, 10:49 AM
Please read and follow the posting rules.
LuvMyLilDoggie
03-07-2006, 11:39 AM
Good luck with the NH search! And good idea bringing someone else along. Sometimes others see what we might miss.
Love, Barb
Love, Barb
Martha H
03-07-2006, 03:22 PM
Dear Min2003, I am not sure if we are allowed to give the names of nursing homes here on this site. If I can, I will write it here soon.
Martha
Martha
ToBeFreeToRoam
03-07-2006, 04:01 PM
Hi Min2003,
I have visited 1 Nursing Home. The other 3 places were assisted living homes, with steps up (or down) to an Alzheimers units on the same property.
Of course the asl places were very nice and very pricey! Except one, that was older and not as fancy but still pretty good and a bit cheaper.
The Nursing Home, looked like an Assisted Living Place in the entry. With a sitting area and offices. Spiffy looking! :> A counselor of sorts showed me around, because I came unannounced (the best way), and the correct person was not there.
This NH consisted mainly of a courtyard, that was not for patients, in the middle. Rooms, for 2 people each. I do not know if you could even have a private one, but sure it would be no, if Medicare were paying. It had a therapy room and a very large area, for eating and entertainment.
It smelled ok in most of the place. Only one place smelled bad and that was in front of one room that was being linen changed and such. I am sure this happens sometimes - because they cannot be right on top of the stinky accidents all the time!
It does look just like a hospital in the rooms of the patients and their halls. But in the dining/entertainment area and the front sitting area, it does not.
This is where patients go, to get therapy before going home, or to die, when the alzheimers place can no longer care for them. Like: If they have to have IVs or be feed in the stomach or some such care that alzheimers and assisted living places do not do.
Now this is in Texas, so the rules and such may be different in other states. And they may be different in other nh units and alz units and asl units!!! :>
Your searching with someone, is the best thing to do. And going unannounced is also the best! It is good to be prepared!!!
Take care and good luck.
Love, Wannabe
I have visited 1 Nursing Home. The other 3 places were assisted living homes, with steps up (or down) to an Alzheimers units on the same property.
Of course the asl places were very nice and very pricey! Except one, that was older and not as fancy but still pretty good and a bit cheaper.
The Nursing Home, looked like an Assisted Living Place in the entry. With a sitting area and offices. Spiffy looking! :> A counselor of sorts showed me around, because I came unannounced (the best way), and the correct person was not there.
This NH consisted mainly of a courtyard, that was not for patients, in the middle. Rooms, for 2 people each. I do not know if you could even have a private one, but sure it would be no, if Medicare were paying. It had a therapy room and a very large area, for eating and entertainment.
It smelled ok in most of the place. Only one place smelled bad and that was in front of one room that was being linen changed and such. I am sure this happens sometimes - because they cannot be right on top of the stinky accidents all the time!
It does look just like a hospital in the rooms of the patients and their halls. But in the dining/entertainment area and the front sitting area, it does not.
This is where patients go, to get therapy before going home, or to die, when the alzheimers place can no longer care for them. Like: If they have to have IVs or be feed in the stomach or some such care that alzheimers and assisted living places do not do.
Now this is in Texas, so the rules and such may be different in other states. And they may be different in other nh units and alz units and asl units!!! :>
Your searching with someone, is the best thing to do. And going unannounced is also the best! It is good to be prepared!!!
Take care and good luck.
Love, Wannabe
rona eve
03-11-2006, 02:40 AM
Hi:
The thought of a nursing home really scares me but what you've described in Long Island doesn't sound too bad and I live in Long Island.
Would you possibly be able to give me the name and any info you have.
Thank you so much.
The thought of a nursing home really scares me but what you've described in Long Island doesn't sound too bad and I live in Long Island.
Would you possibly be able to give me the name and any info you have.
Thank you so much.
Martha H
03-11-2006, 09:19 AM
I'm not sure if we are allowed to recommend specific facilities here on this Board. I'll find outl
Love,
Martha
Love,
Martha
rona eve
03-12-2006, 03:46 AM
Thank you. When my mother broke her hip last year, she spent almost two months in a nh, part of which is a rehab. facility. This place came highly recommened for their six day a week pt and ot schedule. I was also told it was a really good nh.
I was there with her every single day and her room for part of the time, since beds were scarce, was on the dementia floor. I watched many people take tours of the place and though, hey this won't be so bad if heaven forbid, I have to place my mother someday.
I soon realized that things are different when visitors leave and tours are over and shifts change since I was there every night until 8:00. Patients would scream, cry, etc. and be ignored and not talked to nicely by a lot of the staff.
So I am asking anyone looking at these places to try to stop by unannounced to visit, look around, etc.
A friend of a friend's aunt with AD was recently placed in a place in Long Island which they are really happy with after two bad experiences.
If possible please let me know the nh you are talking about (or the town it is in).
I appreciate reading all the posts. This disease is killing not only my mother but a large part of me and I sometimes feel like the walls are closing in but I try to remember all the good advice I read on this board.
Thanks to you all.
Rhona
I was there with her every single day and her room for part of the time, since beds were scarce, was on the dementia floor. I watched many people take tours of the place and though, hey this won't be so bad if heaven forbid, I have to place my mother someday.
I soon realized that things are different when visitors leave and tours are over and shifts change since I was there every night until 8:00. Patients would scream, cry, etc. and be ignored and not talked to nicely by a lot of the staff.
So I am asking anyone looking at these places to try to stop by unannounced to visit, look around, etc.
A friend of a friend's aunt with AD was recently placed in a place in Long Island which they are really happy with after two bad experiences.
If possible please let me know the nh you are talking about (or the town it is in).
I appreciate reading all the posts. This disease is killing not only my mother but a large part of me and I sometimes feel like the walls are closing in but I try to remember all the good advice I read on this board.
Thanks to you all.
Rhona
Jess_Son
03-12-2006, 04:12 AM
This board has been a really big help for my mother, Jess22 (who posts here - I am the son who introduced her to it).
Martha H
03-12-2006, 07:37 AM
Hello again,
I was told by the administrator that it is OK to give you the information as long as I am convinced you need it for a good purpose.
My Mom is in a place called Cold Spring Hills, on Syosset-Woodbury Road, in Woodbury, NY.
She started as a Rehab patient after a hip fractutre. When it became clear that because of her Dementia she was not able to follow directions and recover, and learn to walk again, she was switched to another building in the same complex where she is now a nursing home resident.
We found out about this place through a neighbor of my brother's. We are very satisfied with them. The personnel has tried so hard to take care of all Mom's needs. She is checked out by a staff doctor, her meds are adjusted if needed, she is kept clean and dry. They provide laundry services, and during a time when Mom couldn't feed herself (a reaction to a pain medicine caused her to lose hand coordination) someone very patiently fed her every day. They cleaned her up when she threw up.
Most important now that her physical condition is stabilized, she feels secure and happy there. There are a lot of activities, and she feels like she has made many friends. Mom thinks it is a kind of senior center. She doesn't ask to go home any more.
When she first moved into the new wing, we were unhappy with the bareness of the room. We didn't know that the residents decorate their own rooms there ... but the next day my brohter (who lives nearby) put up curtains, brought in a bedspread and throw pillows, pictures, TV and Radio etc.
We have never been there at night. However, I am pretty sure that crying in the night or screaming may have more to do with the disease itself than with neglect or bad care.
Good luck with your decision.
Love,
Martha
I was told by the administrator that it is OK to give you the information as long as I am convinced you need it for a good purpose.
My Mom is in a place called Cold Spring Hills, on Syosset-Woodbury Road, in Woodbury, NY.
She started as a Rehab patient after a hip fractutre. When it became clear that because of her Dementia she was not able to follow directions and recover, and learn to walk again, she was switched to another building in the same complex where she is now a nursing home resident.
We found out about this place through a neighbor of my brother's. We are very satisfied with them. The personnel has tried so hard to take care of all Mom's needs. She is checked out by a staff doctor, her meds are adjusted if needed, she is kept clean and dry. They provide laundry services, and during a time when Mom couldn't feed herself (a reaction to a pain medicine caused her to lose hand coordination) someone very patiently fed her every day. They cleaned her up when she threw up.
Most important now that her physical condition is stabilized, she feels secure and happy there. There are a lot of activities, and she feels like she has made many friends. Mom thinks it is a kind of senior center. She doesn't ask to go home any more.
When she first moved into the new wing, we were unhappy with the bareness of the room. We didn't know that the residents decorate their own rooms there ... but the next day my brohter (who lives nearby) put up curtains, brought in a bedspread and throw pillows, pictures, TV and Radio etc.
We have never been there at night. However, I am pretty sure that crying in the night or screaming may have more to do with the disease itself than with neglect or bad care.
Good luck with your decision.
Love,
Martha
Min2003
03-12-2006, 08:43 AM
Thank you for the info! I plan to check it out tomorrow (Monday). Since I last posted here, I have visited 4 NH. One of them was NOT an enclosed unit, therefore they don't take alzheimer patients due to safety since they tend to wander. One of the three was highly recommended and I didn't care for it at all. I liked the other two better. However, I may go back to it again to double-check. From what I have read it is always a good idea to go back 2-3 times unannounced. There is one I liked very much because they seemed to have a large number of resident and worker hispanics which is important to me because my Mom's primary language is spanish--plus it is only 5 minutes away! I love the idea of seeing my Mom every day and taking her out for walks, to my home and even shopping at the mall right across the street from the NH. Plus the social worker was the sweetest lady there. I felt like i was talking to a dear friend! We have to remember that if you had to choose pretty walls and excellent care, we would choose the care for our loved ones. It is good to get word-of-mouth recommendations but you really have to check the NH yourself and if possible, don't go alone. Two heads are better than one.