Hi, hope its ok to tell you all about myself first.

My name is Lee and i am from England, i am 21 and i am in a wheelchair, i have been for 10 years.

The thing i get really depressed about is when i go out everyone seems to just stare at me, its really annoying.

I have a bit of acne also so when i see people staring at me it just makes me so upset.

I have a good set of friends around me, and they dont know i get down about it (i'm not even sure they see people staring at me)

I just wish i could go outside and say to myself 'sod it' i dont care if people look at me and what they think, but i cant http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

Does anyone know anything that i can do/say to myself to not worry what people think of me?

Thanks for reading everyone.

((hugs)) It's natural to want approval from the people around you. Trying not to care about it so much is probably a healthy thing to do... though there's no point in pretending you don't care at all. That's a false solution, really.
Talking to your friends about might help you to cope. If I let my feelings stay bottled up inside me, I get overly focused on them. Talking helps keep perspective on things.

I think Konoko's advice is good. If you are close to your parents, that might help too. It's good that you have a close-knit group of friends. I know it's no good now, but I think things will get better the older you get.

Maybe the next time somebody stares at you, maybe you could smile and give a wave. That'd throw them http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Hey Lee,
I don't know if you can get the same movies there in England, but if you can, get the movie "Shallow Hal" I think Gweneth Paltrow is in it. I loved that movie. It is about this guy who gets hypnotized to see people as they really are, you know in their hearts instead of seeing what everybody else sees. If people look at who we are what do they see? In your case you think people are looking or staring at you. Did you know that people stare at beautiful people too? What else do people stare at? Anything that is unusual or out of the ordinary, or lightning thunderbolts in the sky, etc.

But It doesn't necessarily mean because you might THINK they are staring at you, that they really ARE. You know what I mean? Look at the bright side. You get to sit down, while people like me have to walk their legs off and wear myself out!...ha http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif Some of those people might very well be wishing they had a wheelchair or any chair to sit in. And wheel chairs aren't cheap either.

Be glad for what you have and who you are. Let others see the real you.
Don't be so self conscious of that chair or your looks, because what you project out (or are so obsessed about or think so strongly about) others around you can pick up on it too .. MAYBE YOU ARE self-conciously bringing attention to it because of your thoughts.

Most people out there are into their own problems and their own life to even think anybody else. They probably are not even staring like you think. Hey if nothing else works think about Christopher Reeves, the guy who played superman who is a parapylegic (i don't know if I spelled that right) he lives in a wheelchair, do you think he would care if people stare at him? I Hope this helps a little. Enjoy your life!!

lanee

Dear Lee,
I became disabled only a couple of years ago and I have learned a lot. I used to see someone on the side of the street and like most I thought, "get a job you bum". I saw handicap people and I tried not to stare but I guess I did. I did feel sorry for them though but I had no regard for what they maybe thinking back. I sit with others disabled at the hospital now and then and I see the looks and I guess I didn't realize it is a crime to be disabled. I did not realize that people tend to shy away from you as though if they get to close they might catch it even if they can't. I think back about the people on the street that I thought of as a bum now and realize that sometimes things happen in your life that you just have no control over. I don't think any of those people had any intention of ending up on the street and for all I know the one that might have discovered the cure for what I have, was standing there.
I know one thing, as tragic as it is, it only makes the disabled better and we should gain stength in the knowledge of that. We are not the same, we will never be the same, but I would rather be me now then the person that thought the way I did before. Don't get me wrong I would love to be cured, but is that selfish and the same way as I was before? There are still so many out there worse off then I. We need to understand also that people can not help but feel sorry for us. They mean us no harm. Like another poster said, "If someone stares continously at us, we should smile and say hi". We may even learn something ourselves from that and educate if only a few that we are still just ordinary people living our lives. Peace and God be with you and I hope you can feel better about yourself my Friend.