G' Morning,

We are entering our 3rd week with Mom and buspirone. She is still so agitated, I really wonder if it will work. The doctor had said 2-3 weeks. Does anyone else have experience with this particular med?

I finally called her hmo yesterday and changed doctors. That was a process......had to file form that I was guardian and yada yada. The new doc won't take affect till 4/1. I'll be so glad to take her to someone else. We called for 4 days when she first went into the AFH for some type of medication. She was aggressive and hitting the staff. The doc didn't return our calls until I called the HMO for assistance. Now, G was telling me yesterday that she's faxed countless forms to him that the health dept requires and he won't sign and return them. Just ignores them. This is ridiculous. She hasn't had a shower in 3 weeks because she's too aggressive to "force" her to do anything.

Some days are better than others, but often it's the same crying and begging to go to her home and live alone.

Now, she is just obsessed with the idea that the other people are stealing all of her stuff! The worst part is, she's hiding everything from them. So every time I visit, it's a wild search to find where she's hidden her own stuff. Once she hides it, she forgets it, then...........someone stole it! She rotates her clothes in the drawers constantly, covering them with newspapers and books, etc. to hide them. But, she's hiding them from herself.

I made photo album filled with old pictures of her, her mom and dad, and my brothers when we were much younger. She was so thrilled she cried. When I visited yesterday, she was crying because it was gone and she knew the staff stole it, along with a litany of other missing items.

After I searched every crack and cranny of that room, I gave up. I thought perhaps someone else had related to the photos and carried it to their own room. I was trying to calm mom and vowed that I'd search the entire house when I noticed that her yarn basket was heaping over, yarn hanging over the side. I knew she didn't have that much yarn. I pulled out the top skeins of yarn and beneath that,,,,,,,,,everything mom was missing. Photo album, make-up, coloring book, cookies, etc.

I did hide her suit case because that had been her original hiding place, but she just finds another. While I'm there, I try to make it "homey," placing items on the dresser and chests and bed. But each time I come it is stripped clean and hidden away. It's like she isn't going to allow herself to be comfortable there for fear of someone stealing something.

When I showed her that they hadn't stolen anything, she had hidden it, she became outraged. Needless to say, my visit was cut short because she was angry and crying and yelling at me.

I can't wait for the doc appt on 4/1. Does this paranoia about "stealing" continue like a phase, or is it a sign that her medication isn't working properly. "G" just wants a doc that she can contact and get a response. I don't blame her.

Hopefully soon.....

I don't know anything about that med but boy can I relate to the hiding things and accusing others of stealing them! I can't tell you how many hours were spent looking for dad's remote for his tv only to find it buried in drawers or under his bed or even in the bathroom! And of course HE didn't put it there!
He did the same thing with pictures too. And he was in his own home.

My grandma go to the point where she always wanted to go home. She had been with my aunt and uncle for a couple of years already when she started that. It wasn't long after that we realized the home she thought she belonged in was the home she grew up in. She became a child searching for her mama. And that's when the wandering began. She wanted to be with her mama. So sad.

I'll keep everything crossed (including eyes :dizzy: ) :D that you can get your mom in to see the doctor very soon and that if this med doesn't work, the next one will.

Wishing you well.

Love, Barb

My FIL has been on that drug for several months and it did not keep him from getting violent. He is now on buspirone, Zoloft, lorazepam and depakote. Sometimes it takes a combination of drugs to get the right result. His experience with Seroquel was not good. He seems calm now, but he is getting frailer as time goes on. Of course, he is on three blood pressure medications as well.

One bright note--we signed up for the new medicare drug plan and his monthly bills went from $500 per month to $165.

Jane

Ah Sandi,

This hiding of everything not nailed down is so common for the mid-stages of AD. These dear ditsy folks hide things that aren't theirs, too. It's also par for the course that all is discovered by accident because the hiding places are forgotten. A few things will walk off with other AD patients who liked the color, the shine, or the shape. They worry their things will be stolen yet have no idea about the possessions of others. It's so sad. It's also so true that it happens no matter where they live, even in their own homes.

When you look for and find the lost things, keep your conversation neutral so you don't hint that your mother put the items there herself. That will always provoke denial and anger. My mother was the same way. I learned to just say things like "I'll look for it. It's probably just tucked away." and "Why look, here it is. It was in a good safe place." There was nothing for Mom to fuss about or to deny.

Good luck! It's always something!! ;)

(((((((((hugs)))))))))) Barbara :wave:

Hi, Sandy.
I don't know about buspirone for dementia, but I've tried it a couple times for anxiety myself when it was being heavily promoted by the pharmaceutical reps/doctors and found it not helpful at all. All it did was keep me nauseated the whole time. Gave it an 8-week trial twice but it did nothing for anxiety. I haven't seen much positive about it in the anxiety forums, but have no idea how it might work for the agitation of dementia.

Right now my mom is trying Zoloft for anxiety and agitation. She's also been hiding things for a long time. I actually had thought her apartment had been robbed and later found the items hidden in different odd places. Always denies that she did it of course.

I hope the stealing thing is just a phase for your mom. Mine finally stopped all the interrogations about her money and that was something that used to go on for endless hours day and night and always left my head throbbing.

What a rough time for your mom and you, and I too am crossing everything in hopes she'll receive the right meds to calm her.

My mother is in the advanced stages of AD now, but those middle stages were very rough. Thank goodness we had a reliable caregiver at the time, because she found very valuable jewelery thrown in the garbage can! My mother would put one shoe in one drawer and another behind the sofa. I really never asked her where anything was. I just looked. At first it seemed like snooping to me, and I had to often doing it while she was somewhere else. My father had dementia at the same time, so I had my hands full. In addition to "hiding" things, her paranoia focused on my father, and that he had a girlfriend. If he went to the store it was to meet Maria (my father's first girlfriend, 70 years ago!). If he told her to go outside with the dog, it was so that he could call "Maria!" Ooh, I wouldn't want to relive those days!

Yes, I think we all empathise with the 'hidey sneaky' stage .. my ex-charge would stash God knows what, God knows where .. usually money ... and the places we would find it was incredible!! Stuffed into the toe section of shoes, in pockets of jackets, between sheets in the linen cupboard, in coffee cups (of all places !!), and then yes, there would be her accusations that me or the children took it. And of course, not having any words created one heck of an angry ex-charge and we all but had to duck for cover because she would lash out.

Trying to keep her calm and cool at home when she was losing stuff was hard enough. Good thing now at her NH her room is locked at all times, all her stuff is locked away and she has allocated 'play time' with her stuff.

Too MUCH stuff can create further issues with them. They do not cope well with clutter I have discovered. Although it may look homey, it's just too much stimulation for them and they have to keep things tidy and neat (in an obsessive way at times).

I know of one gentleman who is in the late stages of Alz. who regularly destroys his room. He now only has his bed and one chair in his room. No curtains (ripped them off the hooks and hangers). His clothes are in another locked wardrobe in the corridor. His room is stark bare, and he loves it. If you put stuff in there it sends him off the deep end.

They're all different, but with some inventive thinking, solutions and compromises can be discovered.

Hugs to you .. it's certainly a difficult time.

Sally

Oh Sandy....I *SO* relate to the hiding and the accusations! Even though my mom has been in a 'calm' state lately, she still believes that one of us is stealing from her, and she is constantly hiding her things, and forgetting that she even hid them, and blames me for moving it.

Last night after her shower, she started crying because she said someone has stolen all of the costume jewelry that her aunt had given her years ago, and that she had no earrings to wear to her cardio. appt that was today. I told her that most of her jewelry is in my bedroom (on HER request). So this morning while I got ready for work, she asked me to show her where her things were, and she went through all of the jewelry stash to find a pair of earrings.

Many hugs to you, Sandy!