feb06baby
03-21-2006, 03:02 PM
My DD is 6 weeks old. Every once in a while she will get very fussy even though all her needs are meet. It's obvious that she is just tired and is fighting sleep. When she is like this I just rock and comfort her until she cries herself to sleep in my arms. I would like to try CIO when she is like this to see if she can put herself to sleep. My question is that I was just wondering if she is to young to try it? She has never been left to cry for more than 5 minutes because it breaks my heart, so I don't even know if I can do CIO. If she is too young at what age would it be appropriate? Thanks to all!
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friday13
03-21-2006, 04:02 PM
I feel so silly - what is CIO?
I was just reading that you could try to pat your child on the back and talk to them and see if that settles them back to sleep - .. what I try to do is put her down (at 7 weeks) when she is HALF sleeping... in and out.. and if she cries I mean freaks out - big time then I try to pat her but that usually never works... so I pick her up and within 5 min. she is usually out totally... sleeping - and I put her in the bassinet.
I hope she will get better - I am just glad she goes to sleep fast after I pick her up and comfort her - and I dont have to be awake for hours after trying to put her down.
Friday
I was just reading that you could try to pat your child on the back and talk to them and see if that settles them back to sleep - .. what I try to do is put her down (at 7 weeks) when she is HALF sleeping... in and out.. and if she cries I mean freaks out - big time then I try to pat her but that usually never works... so I pick her up and within 5 min. she is usually out totally... sleeping - and I put her in the bassinet.
I hope she will get better - I am just glad she goes to sleep fast after I pick her up and comfort her - and I dont have to be awake for hours after trying to put her down.
Friday
dizzygirl
03-21-2006, 05:28 PM
Friday- CIO means " cry it out"
Ladies.....please, please! I am not a believer in CIO EVER although some people are........but to answer your question, 6 weeks is way to young to let her cry. Enjoy every precious minute of their baby-hood, it goes too fast! They are not manipulative at that age, just hold them, rock them, nurse them( if your nursing) do whatever it takes to get them to sleep. Have you tried a swing?
Ladies.....please, please! I am not a believer in CIO EVER although some people are........but to answer your question, 6 weeks is way to young to let her cry. Enjoy every precious minute of their baby-hood, it goes too fast! They are not manipulative at that age, just hold them, rock them, nurse them( if your nursing) do whatever it takes to get them to sleep. Have you tried a swing?
Gayle0000
03-21-2006, 07:31 PM
We do CIO. I definitely think 6 weeks is too early. I started right at 4 months old. She is 6 1/2 months old now and sleeps on her own without a problem. Has been consistently sleeping on her own since 2 weeks after we started letting her cry.
In hindsight, I think CIO would have been effective at maybe 3 months...probably 3 1/2 months would have been better. 4 months was good. Don't think I would wait longer than 4 months if you plan to use a CIO technique. It would still work, of course...I think the longer you wait...it just gets a little harder. At 3 & 4 months, babies are supposed to be sleeping really well (a deeper sleep) according to our Ped. So, that's why 3-4 months is the perfect time to start.
5 1/2-6 months is when they start to not sleep so soundly due to dreaming (again...that's according to our Ped). I can honestly say it would be HARD to start CIO on our baby now. I think she'd have nothing to do with it if I started this late.
In hindsight, I think CIO would have been effective at maybe 3 months...probably 3 1/2 months would have been better. 4 months was good. Don't think I would wait longer than 4 months if you plan to use a CIO technique. It would still work, of course...I think the longer you wait...it just gets a little harder. At 3 & 4 months, babies are supposed to be sleeping really well (a deeper sleep) according to our Ped. So, that's why 3-4 months is the perfect time to start.
5 1/2-6 months is when they start to not sleep so soundly due to dreaming (again...that's according to our Ped). I can honestly say it would be HARD to start CIO on our baby now. I think she'd have nothing to do with it if I started this late.
feb06baby
03-21-2006, 11:15 PM
I had a feeling she was to young to try it, but just wanted to make sure. Thanks for all the imput ladies!
Valerie_s
03-21-2006, 11:31 PM
I read this thing on **********s site, tehy say to incorporate a sleeping schedual at about 6 weeks, , and that CIO is ok..Im a wuss when Isaiah cries
MissT
03-21-2006, 11:44 PM
5 1/2-6 months is when they start to not sleep so soundly due to dreaming (again...that's according to our Ped). I can honestly say it would be HARD to start CIO on our baby now. I think she'd have nothing to do with it if I started this late.
Yes 6 weeks is too early I think. I have just started CIO after exhausting all other resources and myself. lol My ds has finally taken to it I think. I was getting up with him probably 4 times *sometimes more* an hour or two. WAY too much!!! I could hardly deal with him in the daytime from all the nighttime.
At 6 weeks maybe try swaddling if you haven't
Yes 6 weeks is too early I think. I have just started CIO after exhausting all other resources and myself. lol My ds has finally taken to it I think. I was getting up with him probably 4 times *sometimes more* an hour or two. WAY too much!!! I could hardly deal with him in the daytime from all the nighttime.
At 6 weeks maybe try swaddling if you haven't
Kiera1595
03-22-2006, 11:21 AM
You're just going to have to bear it for a little while longer. Keep rocking and patting and soothing. Still too young for CIO. 4 months is a good age to start...and yes, it is heart breaking, but after just a few nights it tends to get a lot better and easier, and the miracle is that most of them get it in just a few nights if you can stick to it!
Kiedy
03-22-2006, 12:55 PM
Yes doctors don't recommend it until 4mo or later. But don't think that you won't get any sleep until then. My DS started sleeping well at 8wks and would sleep from 8-5am and only wake up once at 2am for a pacifier. This of course lasted until he was 4mo when he started teething (it wasn't just couple teeth, he got 8 teeth in the next 2mo).
I wasn't into CIO, but a time came when I was ready. You just know when that happens. When I tried it once at 4mo, he would cry for 10 minutes and I was going crazy, but 2 months later, I didn't even hear it anymore. Yes, it took about 2wks, now 1mo later, he still wakes up but only for a minute or so. Good Luck,
Oh and yes it's time to start a routine for naps and bed time.
I wasn't into CIO, but a time came when I was ready. You just know when that happens. When I tried it once at 4mo, he would cry for 10 minutes and I was going crazy, but 2 months later, I didn't even hear it anymore. Yes, it took about 2wks, now 1mo later, he still wakes up but only for a minute or so. Good Luck,
Oh and yes it's time to start a routine for naps and bed time.
friday13
03-22-2006, 01:38 PM
OK I have heard you need to set up a time for bedtime etc. and naps... so what if you choose 8pm and your little ones (8 week old) just fed at 6pm or so and they are sleeping since 7pm - ?? what do you do? that is what is happening to me -
I have been trying to get her on a 4 hour routine - but lately she is eating at 3 hours or sometimes 2.5 (growth spurt)?? maybe? And I can't put her to be at 8pm because she is already sleeping.... LOL! and then she usually eats around 10pm and then at 130 or 2am and again at 530am... that has been the routine.
I have been trying to get her on a 4 hour routine - but lately she is eating at 3 hours or sometimes 2.5 (growth spurt)?? maybe? And I can't put her to be at 8pm because she is already sleeping.... LOL! and then she usually eats around 10pm and then at 130 or 2am and again at 530am... that has been the routine.
S&J
03-22-2006, 02:00 PM
I held and rocked my baby until he was 6mos old..and then started the gentle CIO as i call it..i would only wait 30secs in the beginning before going in to sooth him..he's almost 8 mos old and he falls right asleep at night time and will cry for 2-3min for his naps. It was hard for dh, ds and I but I realized that I needed to do something. But..if dh is home and puts ds to bed he can't do the cio :( And. I thought i was the softy!!
Good Luck!!
S :)
Good Luck!!
S :)
babygirl224
03-22-2006, 04:46 PM
My dd is 5 1/2 months and just last night I was wondering if she is still too young to try it. But from what I am reading I should have tried it already. I will try it tonight of course. But How long should I let her cry for?
Gayle0000
03-22-2006, 05:30 PM
Here's our routine...I did what our Ped suggested. I didn't read any books on it:
Put to bed in crib awake (tired & time to go to bed, of course).
When they start crying, wait 5 mins before you go in. Do not pick up the baby. Give paci & pats to soothe until they calm down. I could mostly tell by listening to her breathing when she was calming down well. Leave. I make sure I only hang out with her for a few mins...5 mins max. If she hasn't calmed down a bit in 5 mins, I leave & start the next segment of time.
When crying starts again, wait 10 mins & repeat.
If again, wait 15 mins, etc. then 20 mins.
I personally had a VERY hard time letting 20 mins go, so I stuck with 15 mins max. After the first few days, you most likely shouldn't even have to entertain a 20 min wait time (in my experience, anyway).
At first, it sounds like the baby is wanting to die, she's crying so hard. After a couple days, I started learning her crying and it was very whiney...not a cry I was used to during the day. Definitely a tired cry where she was just fighting sleep. There was 1 time she let out a cry where I knew it was different...and I knew to go in ASAP (she was holding in her first solid poo & not figured out how to let it go yet).
Also in the early days of starting CIO, I found it easier on myself to go in another room where I couldn't hear the crying so clearly. I'd just watch the clock. That helped me get though it when I started.
As time went by and she could go to sleep on her own...we'd have some tougher nights than others. I'd find myself deviating from the above. Like, if she'd be asleep for an hour & start crying, I'd go in right away. Then she'd sleep for another 20 mins, then cry again. That would repeat for hours. There were a few times I had to tell myself to get back to the basic routine...and that always seemed to work.
S&J...LOL about your husband being the softy. Same here! If DH ever went in to pat DD down, instead of soothing and walking away, he hangs out as long as it takes for her to fall asleep. There have been SEVERAL times he'll stand at her crib in the dark patting her for like 35 mins. He comes out all mad, tired & frazzled. It's his own fault, and I keep telling him he's defeating the purpose of CIO by standing there until she falls asleep. He may as well picked her up & rocked her to sleep at that point. The purpose is to teach baby that it's okay to fall asleep on their own.
Friday, I think when your baby gets older & can go for longer times between feedings, you''ll find a bedtime will establish itself. I think I proclaimed "bedtime" somewhere between 9:00-10pm for a really long time in the first few months of life, to accommodate the fact that her last feeding for the night would be somewhere in that timeframe.
For me, DD was about 4.5 months old and on solids...able to go longer between feedings due to the solides...and the growth spurts stopped...before I could really establish a good set bedtime (which is now 8:00pm). Most nights she's ready to go to bed at 7:30 & can't make it until 8pm. The bedtime mostly evolved on it's own once the baby got past 4 months old.
Put to bed in crib awake (tired & time to go to bed, of course).
When they start crying, wait 5 mins before you go in. Do not pick up the baby. Give paci & pats to soothe until they calm down. I could mostly tell by listening to her breathing when she was calming down well. Leave. I make sure I only hang out with her for a few mins...5 mins max. If she hasn't calmed down a bit in 5 mins, I leave & start the next segment of time.
When crying starts again, wait 10 mins & repeat.
If again, wait 15 mins, etc. then 20 mins.
I personally had a VERY hard time letting 20 mins go, so I stuck with 15 mins max. After the first few days, you most likely shouldn't even have to entertain a 20 min wait time (in my experience, anyway).
At first, it sounds like the baby is wanting to die, she's crying so hard. After a couple days, I started learning her crying and it was very whiney...not a cry I was used to during the day. Definitely a tired cry where she was just fighting sleep. There was 1 time she let out a cry where I knew it was different...and I knew to go in ASAP (she was holding in her first solid poo & not figured out how to let it go yet).
Also in the early days of starting CIO, I found it easier on myself to go in another room where I couldn't hear the crying so clearly. I'd just watch the clock. That helped me get though it when I started.
As time went by and she could go to sleep on her own...we'd have some tougher nights than others. I'd find myself deviating from the above. Like, if she'd be asleep for an hour & start crying, I'd go in right away. Then she'd sleep for another 20 mins, then cry again. That would repeat for hours. There were a few times I had to tell myself to get back to the basic routine...and that always seemed to work.
S&J...LOL about your husband being the softy. Same here! If DH ever went in to pat DD down, instead of soothing and walking away, he hangs out as long as it takes for her to fall asleep. There have been SEVERAL times he'll stand at her crib in the dark patting her for like 35 mins. He comes out all mad, tired & frazzled. It's his own fault, and I keep telling him he's defeating the purpose of CIO by standing there until she falls asleep. He may as well picked her up & rocked her to sleep at that point. The purpose is to teach baby that it's okay to fall asleep on their own.
Friday, I think when your baby gets older & can go for longer times between feedings, you''ll find a bedtime will establish itself. I think I proclaimed "bedtime" somewhere between 9:00-10pm for a really long time in the first few months of life, to accommodate the fact that her last feeding for the night would be somewhere in that timeframe.
For me, DD was about 4.5 months old and on solids...able to go longer between feedings due to the solides...and the growth spurts stopped...before I could really establish a good set bedtime (which is now 8:00pm). Most nights she's ready to go to bed at 7:30 & can't make it until 8pm. The bedtime mostly evolved on it's own once the baby got past 4 months old.
friday13
03-22-2006, 06:08 PM
Gayle thanks for the excellent advice! and my feeding is around 9, 10 - 11pm ish... depeding on how the day went - LOL!
I feel much better now.... whew.
I feel much better now.... whew.
Gayle0000
03-22-2006, 07:13 PM
Right Friday...."depending on how the day went" is really the key to everything anymore...isn't it? LOL. That seems to be my disclaimer for everything these days.
lex jude
03-24-2006, 12:52 AM
I totally go with Gayle on this. Her and I have babies around the same age and my DS is a wonderful sleeper. I am totally spoiled. But at first it was not so....
For the first two months you are going to have to tough it out. My son was on a random schedule of eat, sleep for two hours, eat, sleep for two hours, eat, etc etc etc etc. I was dead to the world, but I tried my best to get through.
Then one day, after three weeks of that, I was so tired of all the randomness. So I tried to start a schedule.
Every night, around 11, I would bath my son. Next I would read him a book. Last I would give him the BIGGEST BOTTLE he would eat. (I would also put a few tablespoons of rice in it, but only because my doc. recommended it for his frequent spit ups. I would't do this unless doc says ok) Then off to bed! Now he still woke once before 7, but I fed him quietly in a dark room and tried not to disturb him at all.
Then during the day I would try to stimulate him and play with him. It was ROUGH. But finally, it stuck and he started to sleep six hours ata time at night....I bumped the bathtime back to ten thirty...ten....nine thirty...and now it's at nine. And he sleeps until 7-8ish. He takes about two to three naps in the day.
But when I started the schedule is when he started to sleep SO much better.
I did use the CIO method for him the first few nights he didn't fall asleep at the bottle...I just followed the techniques gayle did, and I think it took two nights for him to give up crying. Now he doesn't even peep when he goes down, awake or asleep.
As a side note, my son will also fuss uring the day when he is really tired, and he will crank up as I call it....flail his arms, cry bitterly. I can usually tell his cries apart, and I will hold him for this little mini fit. It seems to calm him better, and he goes down like a champ. I am all for enjoying your baby, but sometimes a baby needs to learn self calming techniques too.
<3 <3 you have a bit until you'll be able to sleep, but it's NEVER to early to make a schedule for yourself! (even a loosely followed one)
sorry so long :P
For the first two months you are going to have to tough it out. My son was on a random schedule of eat, sleep for two hours, eat, sleep for two hours, eat, etc etc etc etc. I was dead to the world, but I tried my best to get through.
Then one day, after three weeks of that, I was so tired of all the randomness. So I tried to start a schedule.
Every night, around 11, I would bath my son. Next I would read him a book. Last I would give him the BIGGEST BOTTLE he would eat. (I would also put a few tablespoons of rice in it, but only because my doc. recommended it for his frequent spit ups. I would't do this unless doc says ok) Then off to bed! Now he still woke once before 7, but I fed him quietly in a dark room and tried not to disturb him at all.
Then during the day I would try to stimulate him and play with him. It was ROUGH. But finally, it stuck and he started to sleep six hours ata time at night....I bumped the bathtime back to ten thirty...ten....nine thirty...and now it's at nine. And he sleeps until 7-8ish. He takes about two to three naps in the day.
But when I started the schedule is when he started to sleep SO much better.
I did use the CIO method for him the first few nights he didn't fall asleep at the bottle...I just followed the techniques gayle did, and I think it took two nights for him to give up crying. Now he doesn't even peep when he goes down, awake or asleep.
As a side note, my son will also fuss uring the day when he is really tired, and he will crank up as I call it....flail his arms, cry bitterly. I can usually tell his cries apart, and I will hold him for this little mini fit. It seems to calm him better, and he goes down like a champ. I am all for enjoying your baby, but sometimes a baby needs to learn self calming techniques too.
<3 <3 you have a bit until you'll be able to sleep, but it's NEVER to early to make a schedule for yourself! (even a loosely followed one)
sorry so long :P
friday13
03-24-2006, 09:24 AM
LexJude - so you started a schedule after 3 weeks? when he was about 1 month right?
Do you all bath your baby every night? or every other night or day?
Friday
Do you all bath your baby every night? or every other night or day?
Friday
lex jude
03-24-2006, 04:43 PM
LexJude - so you started a schedule after 3 weeks? when he was about 1 month right?
Do you all bath your baby every night? or every other night or day?
Friday
Ohhh yes! He didn't "get it" right away but after a while he fell right into it :) Plus it just made things so much easier for me. I fell so much better when there was some order to the day.
And I bath alex every night, just to enforce the whole schedule thing. I've heard you really dont' need to but he LOVES the bath now :)
Do you all bath your baby every night? or every other night or day?
Friday
Ohhh yes! He didn't "get it" right away but after a while he fell right into it :) Plus it just made things so much easier for me. I fell so much better when there was some order to the day.
And I bath alex every night, just to enforce the whole schedule thing. I've heard you really dont' need to but he LOVES the bath now :)
BioAdoptMom3
03-25-2006, 12:57 AM
First of all, at six weeks, I would start feeding every three hours during the day instead of every four. The more she eats during the day the less she will need at night, though at six weeks she is probably not going to be able to go more than about four to six hours one time, tops. If you are putting her down flat on her back, try another place or position. I cannot stress enough how much of a difference it makes. Our first two were born during the tummy sleeping era. It was foreign to me to hear of young infants crying themselves to sleep. Ours slept around the clock until they were at least three months old and really never fussed when put down until they were at least four months old. When we adopted our dd in '99 we couldn't figure out why she didn't want to sleep like they did and why she woke up every hour or two all night long and every 30 minutes during the day. She had a cold when she was six weeks old and one night we put her in the carseat to sleep to help with breathing. The baby slept six hours straight! It was at that point we realized that it was the back sleeping that was making life so difficult for everyone. We never had another problem with sleeping after that unless she had one of her many ear infections, as long as she was either in her carseat or on her tummy (the actual rate of SIDS for a newborn tummy sleeper is less than 1 in 1000). Other options for sleep are the swing, the bouncy, propping the baby on her side or swaddling. Co-sleeping usually also works well if you and DH both are comfortable with that.
And I agree with everyone else on the CIO. Six weeks is way too young. Nothing lasts forever and babies grow fast. If you have the opportunity to rock and cuddle, go for it! I doubt that when she is walking down the aisle or out the door to college you are going to be fretting about how she wasn't sleep trained as a young infant. More than likely it is going to be the opposite. I really do think with more feeding during the day and a change in place or position there is not really going to even be much of a need for any type of CIO at this age.
Nancy
And I agree with everyone else on the CIO. Six weeks is way too young. Nothing lasts forever and babies grow fast. If you have the opportunity to rock and cuddle, go for it! I doubt that when she is walking down the aisle or out the door to college you are going to be fretting about how she wasn't sleep trained as a young infant. More than likely it is going to be the opposite. I really do think with more feeding during the day and a change in place or position there is not really going to even be much of a need for any type of CIO at this age.
Nancy