I am looking for some basic info on fertility treatments. A friend of mine is going through some, I believe it is IVF but after I give you some info perhaps you can tell me more. She is in a very public job in our very small town and is pretty quiet about the whole thing although she knows that her good friends know what is up...her dh has a pretty big mouth. I want to be able to support her and understand what she is going through/feeling physically but I don't know enough about the treatments and don't want to make her uncomfortable by asking. Through mutual friends I know that she found out about 16 months ago that she was unable to conceive on her own and was/is devastated but would be trying fertility treatments.
Anyway, this is her second round of treatments. The first was last spring and she told us she was taking 3 weeks off work. She had to travel to a large centre (we live in a really rural area) almost everyday, often in the morning. Her dh told us near the end of those 3 weeks that her next appointment involved the procedure and it would be very painful for her. She was very sick during most of this 3 week period and her dh told us that it was the medication she was on.
This time she gave us very little notice...basically one day she told us she would be off for the next 3 weeks. Since then I know she has been going to see this specialist frequently and is taking medication that makes her feel ill and tired although not as ill as last time.
Maybe I am being too nosy but it is so hard for me to be supportive without knowing what is involved and yet I feel like they want me to be supportive. It is doubly hard for me as I am almost 31 weeks pg and I feel like such a horrible friend. I mean I conceived my ds on the first try almost 4 years ago. As she went through the worst of her 1st treatment I had a m/c which was strange because I didn't want to talk about it with her as it seemed so trivial compared to her issues. It then took us 5 months to conceive again and again that was hard because it was such a focus in my life but I didn't want to tell her that or share my stress with her, again because her issues with fertility were so much greater than mine.
Any help here would be appreciated as I just want to be good friend.
thanks

Just bumping myself up in hopes that someone can shed some light on what type of treatments my friend might be going through, what the side effects are (ie why she is feeling the way she is, why she's off for 3 weeks etc.). They are coming for dinner on the weekend and I don't want to seem insensitive or overly concerned either.
Any help is welcome.
thanks

I can't really tell you what procedure she is actually doing. It sounds like it might be IVF, but most all procedures involve drugs and several trips to doctors for bloodwork and ultrasounds. If she is traveling a long way to the clinic and is being monitored closely, she would have to go in several times a week, which is probably why she is taking so much time off. For most infertility treatments it takes several weeks to go through the entire cycle, you start with u/s and bloodwork, sometimes you are put on bc pills to regulate cycles, then either pills or injections every day and more u/s and bloodwork to check your follicle status. If she's doing IVF, she will have retrieval, which I have not had done, but from what I have heard, can put you down for a day or two, then a few days later, they would have the embryo transfer, and some doctors will put you on bed rest for 24-48 hours after that. She also may be doing IUI, they still put you on the drugs and monitor you several times a week and the actual procedure has been very painful for me a couple of times, but probably because I have a tipped uterus and it's hard for them to get the tube inside of me.

I can honestly tell you that no matter what anyone tells you about the process, you will never understand what she is going through, as nobody that has not gone through infertility understands it. I have several friends that are there for me, but they will never understand what I am going through. It is not easy for people to talk about because it is such an emotional thing to go through and sometimes it's easier for people to avoid the subject. It's a part of our everyday lives and we think about it 24/7 and, if she's anything like me, she crys all the time wondering if she will ever be able to experience pregnancy. The only thing I can tell you is let her know that you are there IF she wants to talk about it and that you are really interested in knowing about what she is going through IFshe would like to share....but if she doesn't want to talk about it, respect her and drop it - I know in my case, I would rather talk about other things because it's always on my mind and since I'm always thinking about it, it's nice to get a break sometimes.

I hope some of this makes sense. I could go on and on - but I hope I have helped you a little bit. Good Luck with your friend.

~ravae

PS - one thing you could do is tell her about the support on these boards so if she is looking for others that are in her position, she knows where to find us....

Thanks so much!!! I am assuming she is doing IVI although I am a little unclear of the difference...then again I am not familiar with the terminology either.
I don't ever expect I can sympathize with she, or any of you here, are going through and I pray that each of you get through this all with the utmost success. We all assume, as young women, that we will be mommies some day and that it won't take long or be hard work. I discovered after my m/c last spring and the work it took to conceive this child that it is not always so.
Thanks to anyone who has/had info for me. I feel better in being able to understand what she's going through medically and hopefully can be a supportive friend.
Take care!