writerboybc
08-10-2003, 07:40 PM
I don't know if it'll last, but today was the first day in about 11 years that I feel happy - genuinely happy, and I love it!
I still have the same stuff going on in my life, same problems, same concerns, and I'm thinking about them, but they are not making me depressed and they are not making me panic.
I'm still grappling with the side effects of 40mgs of Celexa: Headaches, nausea, no sex drive and occasional bursts of panic, but the panic bursts are not as bad as they were yesterday and the rest of the side effects are worth it if I can feel this way some more.
I know I'm probably babbling, but...My God...I have woken up every day for the last 11 years feeling miserable, I've sat in front of my computer and felt like crying, or even killing myself. This morning, I woke up and was glad to be out of bed and into the day. I went for a walk and everything made me happy. I was smiling without even meaning to! I went to see the people who are going to adopt my child, and I was\ excited about the fact that I'm going to have a son or daughter soon that I'm going to be seeing and playing with, not miserable that I'm not going to be the one raising him or her full-time. My mind feel...God...so clear and so peaceful. Music makes me happy, even sad music. I can even talk to my ex-girlfriend without feeling miserable anymore.
This is the greatest feeling in the world! It's probably how normal people feel all the time, but to me, it's like somebody pulled the knife out of my heart that's been there since I wasn't even a teenager yet.
Celexa is a miracle-worker!
I still have the same stuff going on in my life, same problems, same concerns, and I'm thinking about them, but they are not making me depressed and they are not making me panic.
I'm still grappling with the side effects of 40mgs of Celexa: Headaches, nausea, no sex drive and occasional bursts of panic, but the panic bursts are not as bad as they were yesterday and the rest of the side effects are worth it if I can feel this way some more.
I know I'm probably babbling, but...My God...I have woken up every day for the last 11 years feeling miserable, I've sat in front of my computer and felt like crying, or even killing myself. This morning, I woke up and was glad to be out of bed and into the day. I went for a walk and everything made me happy. I was smiling without even meaning to! I went to see the people who are going to adopt my child, and I was\ excited about the fact that I'm going to have a son or daughter soon that I'm going to be seeing and playing with, not miserable that I'm not going to be the one raising him or her full-time. My mind feel...God...so clear and so peaceful. Music makes me happy, even sad music. I can even talk to my ex-girlfriend without feeling miserable anymore.
This is the greatest feeling in the world! It's probably how normal people feel all the time, but to me, it's like somebody pulled the knife out of my heart that's been there since I wasn't even a teenager yet.
Celexa is a miracle-worker!

