Hey I have a problem until this year I used to cut myself a lot and i ever since have become obsessed like I will toy with cutting if i get upset altho i never do it..i told my mom and she didnt care so i have never got help about it..my mom an dad think im happy and normal but im really not in fact im worse than ever like extrme hiighs and lows...help me plez!

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I dont find it easy to write about happy Sh**
You dont need a relaease when youre happy

Trapt, please find someone you can talk to, and fast. If you can't talk to your parents, ask the counselor at your school or your family doctor, or your minsister or priest or rabbi or imam or whatever to refer you to someone. I think, or hope, that your doctor would respect your confidence if you don't want to discuss this with your parents just yet. Sooner or later, though, you will feel a lot better if you talk it out with them instead of trying to put on an act of feeling normal, but if you're not ready for that, find someone else. Cutting yourself is something that can do real physical harm, and if meds can help you, you should get to someone who can prescribe them for you ASAP. There are a lot of effective medications out there, and although some of us on this board have been b!tching and moaning about side effects, believe me, depression is a lot worse than a little dry-mouth or an occasional upset stomach.

Skip on all medications and on the psychiatrist. What you need is to create your own self love, self acceptance, and self empathy. Then you must heal shame, then you must break down negative beliefs that you have ahout yourself and other people, and last keep doing the cognitive therapy. All of the above should be taught, explained and encouraged to you in cognitive therapy. It works I have done it myself for over 2 years. It is great.

Believe me when I say that medication takes forever to work, most of the time it does not work at all and when it does work it only works for a little while but you are stuck with problems such as " How do I deal with the boy who rejected me at school then later in the day he cussed at me and made fun of me?" "How do I cope with failing two of my tests today?" The pills will not help at all with any of these situations and you will be as helpless and confused and lost as you were the day you started the medication. If you are looking to feel numb and have apathy then your thinking in the wrong direction because you need to have love , self respect, among many other things in order grow, progress, retain control of thooughts and emotions, and many other great things.

Cutting is a severe indicator that you have a lot of shame. The only way to recover from this is to heal your shame. I would do it as fast as possible, and it does not take one day, it takes many days, months, or even a year. But you will get better once you start healing shame.

What I noticed is that you said your mother didn't much care when you brought up your cutting issues. What I am percieving is that both your parents are in complete denial about what you are going through, and what your self esteem has been through and will continue to go through. This is called parental neglect. You need help from a professional cognitive therapist and NOT any of those psychiatrists who will definatly give you medication that will not work or change your behavior, and will take money out of your wallet.

Please go to your Doctor and tell him exacly how you feel. Sounds like you may be bipolar. You don't need to feel this way. You can get help.