Am I wrong in expecting hubby to help out more than usual now that I'm in pain?

At times I still try to do the things I normally did before the painkillers & muscle relaxers, but these activities cause me more pain..but I don't think hubby see's it & still expects me to do a lot of what I did before, which took up my entire weekend anyway.

A full weekend of housework, how dull. Work during the week, housework on the weekend....when do I get to have some fun? Now this pain.

I'm sinking deeper into depression & don't know what to do anymore. I almost have given up. Am I just feeling sorry for myself?

In my opinion....u have every right to be depressed, upset..whatever if u r in pain. It seems to prohibit u to do loads of things that u did before. Have u stressed to ur husband just how much pain u r in? If u make light-hearted of the situation he is going to think that u r obviously OK to do the normal things. X

When it doubt.

Sit still and do nothing.

Privacy concern

I definitely don't think you are feeling sorry for yourself. Can you think of anything (other than nothing) that you'd enjoy doing?b

[This message has been edited by hangtenvetter (edited 08-14-2003).]

I think your hubby may have some apathy towards your pain. And apathy in grown adults is usually not a sign of being mature.

If you are able to get up and do some house work then go for it. I usually turn on my favorite music or movies and do the house work very slowly and take a lot of breaks.

Hi all & thank you for all your wonderful responses.

It's been a rough couple of days~~~~~~but as normal, if I don't say much & just do what I normally do (with the exception of housework), then after a couple of day's he is decent to speak to & will be nice again.

I don't know how to deal with his manipulative bullcrap. Especially since he really is my rock between being ******dly happy & down & outright depressed.

Still think he has no clue how bad the depression is nor the pain level, but he did rub my neck & back for me, something he will never do without a lot of complaint. He didn't complain. (I have 2 herniated disc in my neck that is causing the excrutiating pain).

Maybe this was his way to make up with me. I dunno.

I have hired a housekeeper, which he is mad at. But hey, my pain level is at the point that I'm barely making it through a work day & even then I'm sleeping on my lunch hour. I'm barely doing anything at night & only getting down 1/4 of what I normally accomplish on a weekend.

Oh well. Someone mentioned marriage counseling. Maybe down the road, but definately not right now. He thinks it's all me & maybe it is. He is perfectly happy in his own little world of going to work, coming home & watching tv or mowing the grass. God, to me that is just totally boring. Maybe I'm expecting to much.

Then again maybe this pain level has me so tired & unable to do anything that is causing the increase in depression. In fact that just might be the answer cause I used to keep myself somewhat amused, but then again, I felt deprived of fun cause I was always cleaning house. Yikes!!!! I can't make up my mind what the problem is.

Sorry to vent. It just felt good to get this out & maybe, just maybe, one of you may read this & the light bulb will go off & be able to tell me exactly what my problem is. Indecision??????

Thank you all for responding & allowing me to vent like this. Cat