I have suffered with depression for some time and only recently it has become more severe. I dated and married a wonderful woman and for most of our dating I was able to control my depression around her. Now that we live together it's harder to do since I want to sleep a lot etc...Anyway, she gets very frustrated and feels that I'm doing her and our new baby a disservice by putting them through this. I try to explain that I certainly don't want to be in this state and "can't help it often times". She is very loving woman, but she is having trouble with this, because she has never been around depression. How do you handle it in your relationships?

I also have depression. I sleep all of the time too, SO does my mother. So my depression is genetic. My husband knew when I married him that I had this problem. He gets mad at me for sleeping all of the time too, but we always talk about it when he starts getting really worried about it. I just tell him I don't know what I am getting up for. Have you tried any meds?? If so, maybe you should go to your doctor and get on a new medication. ALso try not to spend your time in the bedroom or wherever you usally want to sleep. When you get home from work or whatever you do, DON'T go to the bedroom until it is night time when you go to bed. Keep a note on the bedroom door so you can see it every time you start to walk towards the bedroom so you'll have a reminder you are not supposed to be in the bedroom unless it is night time and you and your wife are going to bed together. I always have my husband come with me when I go to the doctor also, whenever I am going for depression so that he can hear what the doctor is saying, and realize that I am telling the truth when I tell him I cannot help the sleeping I do. If I think of anything else I will tell you. I will talk to my husband and see what helps him deal with my depression.

I also have depression. I sleep all of the time too, SO does my mother. So my depression is genetic. My husband knew when I married him that I had this problem. He gets mad at me for sleeping all of the time too, but we always talk about it when he starts getting really worried about it. I just tell him I don't know what I am getting up for. Have you tried any meds?? If so, maybe you should go to your doctor and get on a new medication. ALso try not to spend your time in the bedroom or wherever you usally want to sleep. When you get home from work or whatever you do, DON'T go to the bedroom until it is night time when you go to bed. Keep a note on the bedroom door so you can see it every time you start to walk towards the bedroom so you'll have a reminder you are not supposed to be in the bedroom unless it is night time and you and your wife are going to bed together. I always have my husband come with me when I go to the doctor also, whenever I am going for depression so that he can hear what the doctor is saying, and realize that I am telling the truth when I tell him I cannot help the sleeping I do. If I think of anything else I will tell you. I will talk to my husband and see what helps him deal with my depression.

Thanks sleekgirla! I think I'll take my wife to my next appointment. I have thought about it, but with her renewed agitation I think I need to do it sooner than later. I need her to understand the reality of depression. She comes from a family that simply never had any depression, so it's difficult for her to grasp. Thanks again.

I am not married but my Dad was had complete apathy towards my depression. In fact he told me that I had been making it up for years just to get attention and to get on his nerves.

[This message has been edited by wannabehotguy (edited 08-14-2003).]

What happens to us people who have had this problem for years is that we attract people who are opposite in the other extreme. Depressed people tend to blame themselves and put a lot of issues under a microscope and fixate on it. I did that all the time for over 10 years and I am slowly getting much better. BUT we will attract people to us who are the extreme opposite. These people will blame, feel in need to control all things but themselves, and of course one big sign is they have apathy towards others. They may be charming and sweet to people they first meet or people they want to impress but these people also need a lot of therapy and help just like us depressed people.

welll wannabeahotguy... i do disagree with your post and a lot of what you have said over the last while. im not like that and see it as being attracted to someone who HAPPENS to have depression. anyone who wants to talk with someone who's partner has depression feel free to make contact.

signing off

watmatters,
What I posted was a short version of all the evidence found by psychologists and in experiments. It happens to people like it or not but some people do not experience all of what I am talking about. You may not experience it. The info I post is just for the people who might have it or if they don't they can become aware of it about other people. A lot of our decisions are subconcious (which means we do it without really thinking, a bit impulsive, and habitual).
It is a complicated subject that is best claryified in books or on the interent or by your therapist.

anyone else agree with what wannabeahotguy is saying?

id be interested to know how many of you out there have had this kinda experience...

dude... don't paint everyone with the same brush, and be careful of the kind of advice you give. everyone is sooo different and you never know who is gonna take what you say tooo seriously. I for one am different to what you are describing. least of all am i apathetic. oh and i know what subconscious means... you got way more to learn by the sounds of things

signing off

just re read what i wrote... still stand by it.. but need to tone it down... its 6am and im pretty weirded out right now.. no offence intended wannabeahotguy.