My son is spoiled, yes at 4 months old. One of my nurses in the hospital said, "You can't spoil a newborn, but you can spoil a baby 4 months +." I think she jynxed me. Cause here I am.
I didn't want to let DS CIO, so everytime he cried I picked him up, if he wasn't happy, I held him. Now, He won't let me put him down for too long. And if he can't see me, forget it. He screams his head off. This isn't crying he is doing, its full out yelling at me! Basically throwing a tantrum except he can't throw his body to the ground. lol If I ignore it, which I have tried to do for short amounts of time, his yelling turns into screams and cries, horrible cries! I have tried just being near him instead of picking him up, talking to him, singing, playing, but he still screams. I feel horrible hearing it, but it is also cute the way he squishes his face up. What can I do to curb this tude' my son has?

I do not believe he is spoiled. Babies under about six months are unable to manipulate. It is possible that he is just figuring out that you and he are seperate beings and he is insecure when away from you. I would just put him down for short periods of time when he is awake and stay nearby where he can see you as much as possible till he gets used to not being held by you most of the time. Reserach also has proven that babies who are held more during the first six months actually cry less during the second six months than babies who were not held as much. I know you have things to do, but as a mom of a 6, 15 and 18 year old I can tell you that your days of baby holding and cuddling are numbered. They get to the point where they don't want to be held and believe me, you will miss it! Do it all you can while you can.

Nancy

Roxy,

I went through this w/ my son too, at5-6mo, it was hard. But at the 6mo check up (here, they had me answer this 7 page questionnaire), they actually will ask you if your son wants to be near you all the time, held, cries when you leave the room or if he's around strangers. This means that he is developing socially and that he has developed a strong bond w/ you . This is actually an important milestone.

You will find this to get worse around time when he will be teething. It does get better though. Don't worry, you didn't spoil him.

He is teething now, the gums are swollen on the bottom and I see some white poking out. Could this be why? I do hold DS alot, I don't like to hear him cry and I want to be close to him because I know my days are numbered, but sometimes I just have things to do. I feel like I am complaining for nothing, he is a good baby, and the teething just got worse, so maybe that's it.

Oh yah, teething will do that. It's so hard when they can't tell you with words what's wrong with them. With both of mine they would be a mess for days and I'd be racking my brain trying to figure out what was wrong. Then I'd see that little white tooth bump and the question was answered.

Keep giving him relief for those gums. In the meantime, let him go those short periods if you really need to get something done. Like make a sandwhich before you expire from hunger. He's not going to explode (though it sounds like he will) Do you have a sling or a front carrier? Does that help at all? I don't think he's spoiled. He just really loves you, what a compliment! It's hard...but soon he'll be running away from you down the hall.

My son is spoiled, yes at 4 months old. One of my nurses in the hospital said, "You can't spoil a newborn, but you can spoil a baby 4 months +." I think she jynxed me. Cause here I am.
I didn't want to let DS CIO, so everytime he cried I picked him up, if he wasn't happy, I held him. Now, He won't let me put him down for too long. And if he can't see me, forget it. He screams his head off. This isn't crying he is doing, its full out yelling at me! Basically throwing a tantrum except he can't throw his body to the ground. lol If I ignore it, which I have tried to do for short amounts of time, his yelling turns into screams and cries, horrible cries! I have tried just being near him instead of picking him up, talking to him, singing, playing, but he still screams. I feel horrible hearing it, but it is also cute the way he squishes his face up. What can I do to curb this tude' my son has?

Come see my 2 y/o and you'll know what spoiled really is! LOL! haha, I'm kidding. :P
Honestly, I doubt your 4 month old is spoiled. If he's used to being held a lot by you, then start to break him of that NOW. It'll be a heck of a lot harder if you wait til he's older!

roxy

My son was extremely clingy when he was teething, I couldn't put him down or he'd cry. So definitly he will be very fussy, it does get better, once the teeth are in.

Sounds like you are doing a great job. Those screams can really get to you. Especially when you have things you need to do. What helped me get through was some advice I had read. Babies who's cries are answered and who are held as much as possible will be more independant toddlers. Why? Becasue they have security. They know you will always be there for them no matter what, so they feel they can venture off and explore. Some moms from my moms group felt they were spoiling their babies and tried to break them from it by not going to them right away, they also let their babies CIO. Other moms in my group answered cries everytime. When our babies were toddlers guess who the clingy ones were. It was amazing how the info was right on!

I know this was a personal study with no control group and lots of variables; so I cannot say it is valid. Just my personal observation.

My sling was a lifesaver my baby wanted to be held 24/7. I also (gasp) had her sleeping in my arms at night. She spent almost 0 time laying down alone. She would only play on a blanket with me in sight and even then for only about 15 minutes at a time. THen she needed some mommy time. At around 4 months she figured out how to roll over. From that moment on she wanted her own space to sleep so she went to the crib. Now that she can play and manipulate toys - I am old news until she gets tired and hungry. When her teeth were popping through she fussed and wanted to be cuddled all day and night again. But once it was over she went back to her usual self. I read somewhere that if you meet their needs when they are younger, they will have the attitude that their needs will be met so no need to cling and fuss when they are older and CAN be manipulative.

I do have the sling, but at 18lbs and 26 inches, its not exactly easy on my back. I do wear it when I am doing a few things that way he can stay with me and I get a workout in one. I too sleep with DS, he still sleeps fine in bed with me. I have tried putting him in the crib for the night, but he wakes up crying and I feel lonely. lol (Dh works midnights.) What I do now is put him down when he frist sleeps and bring him to bed when he wakes up. If he sleeps in bed with me, he sleeps all night, if in the crib he wakes after a few hours.
I did go to the doctor yesterday and she said those teeth with be out by the weekend most likely. He got his 4 mo vaccine yesterday and he isn't very fussy at all right now. Weird, huh?

I do not believe he is spoiled. Babies under about six months are unable to manipulate. It is possible that he is just figuring out that you and he are seperate beings and he is insecure when away from you. I would just put him down for short periods of time when he is awake and stay nearby where he can see you as much as possible till he gets used to not being held by you most of the time. Reserach also has proven that babies who are held more during the first six months actually cry less during the second six months than babies who were not held as much. I know you have things to do, but as a mom of a 6, 15 and 18 year old I can tell you that your days of baby holding and cuddling are numbered. They get to the point where they don't want to be held and believe me, you will miss it! Do it all you can while you can.

Nancy
Everything said right here is right on! He is right on track. I would actually be worried if he never cared if you were there right? Try to make the best of it. Is it getting to be warmer by you? Maybe a long walk will do you both some good. I know exactly where you're coming from, ds is 11 months, and still gets that way, but it's less and less. You can't spoil a baby. The more attention they receive and loving responsivness you give, the more secure they will be when they grow up. You're doing a great job! :wave:

Roxy, you're not alone! DD is doing the same thing! When I cook or iron and I'm not looking at her (my back is to her) she "yells" at me. When I get her situated to play, she wants me right there or she starts to yell and fuss after a few minutes. At first I thought it was kind of a power struggle she was having with me, trying to get me to give her attention at all times, but then I realized that she just has a need for security. DH and I refer to it as her "love tank." When her love tank is full (when I play with her and all her physical needs are met) then she lasts a little longer on her own.

Have you noticed how they're in a stage now that they realized there is so much to see and do in the world? She wants me to interact with her so she can learn and see things. She really doesn't like to be in one spot very long. I've been pushing her around the house in an umbrella stroller occasionally to save my back from pain.

One thing that has been wonderful the last couple of weeks is an Exersaucer. She absolutely LOVES it because there is so much to interact with and do and it challenges her. She can push the buttons to make music and can play on her own, and she LOVES to be "standing" upright!

I hope it gets better for you!

I have an exersaucer too, and he loves it, still though, he wants to be with me while he's doing it. I don't know why I am complaining, I love him loving to be around me. I was just concerned that this could cause problems later on if I always picked him up when crying. My friend is set on me letting him play and enjoy time alone without me holding him, but I can't help it.
Sometimes, I feel guilty if I leave him play without paying him attention. Mornings, I lay him down with his toys and get my coffee and try to wake up. This is his happiest time, so I just listen to him talk while I relax. It is getting warmer, but its so windy out right now. I was intending on walking with him, but the wind is so strong the cover keeps coming off of the stroller. It is gorgeous though.