A little background here so you can understand my problem.
I work at a very large Union co. where you have to work part-time crap jobs in order to obtain a full-time dream job, and the job was just posted. After laboring for years for next to nothing this may finally be my shot at a life changing income. Sounds great right, well its not that simple. I have tried this job seasonaly and its extremely physical, my gateway to addict country was through my back. Getting the picture here? I was extremely good at this job because unlike everyone else I wasn't feeling any pain. I'm in my late 20's with a weak back, and I've only been clean for about a week. This to me has all the makings of disaster, I don't even think I could make it through a day without some sort of help. But I would also be a fool to turn this job down. I may be outbid this time but still at some point I am going to have to deal with this. Even if I could get a doctor to acknoledge the fact that my back is messed up what's he going to do give me painkillers. yeah right, I might as well shoot myself in the head. Any Ideas guys...The way I see it all roads either lead back to painkillers which is certain death for me, or no carreer. I know this is a tough one but any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Justquit..havnt heard from u for a few , hope your still doing as great as u were, Im a little nervous actually that I havnt seen u post lately.... Im thinking of you...hope to see u post soon....wantostop

Hey justquit. First just let me say that you are an inspiration to me. I have been following your story and it gives me hope that I, too, can slay this dragon. I will be going ct in a couple weeks when I take disability from my job (for deQuere Vanes syndrome, ie. swelling in the wrist and hand, which is what jump-started my addiction) and your posts have been very encouraging to me. That said, I do see the conundrum you are having. This is a very sticky situation. If you take the job, you may find yourself giving yourself permission to use again. But if you don't take the job, you will be stuck in the crappy part-time positions you mentioned above. So what if you take the job and try using otc meds like heat patches, motrin, icy-hot or bengay, and try doing things that will strengthen your back like physical therapy? Is there a doctor you could talk frankly with, explain that you can not under any circumstances take any painkillers and ask him for advice on what exercises or otc meds will help you control the pain? We as addicts lose so much because of our addictions. Some of us lose friends, husbands or wives, custody of children, not to mention oodles of cash. I would hate to see you lose the opportunity to make a good living over this evil monster. However, I would hate even more to see you slip back into addiction after all the hard work you have put (and continue to put) into staying clean. Is it possible for you to take the job, then if it becomes obvious to you that there is no drug-free way for you to work it - go back to what you have been doing? Is this an option? I wish I could give you better advice buddy, but I am as stumped as you on this one. Please let me know what you decide and if anything I mentioned seems possible.
Good Luck,
Amy

Wantostop... Still here still doing great, my grandmother however isn't, she is dying of cancer and is expected to not make it through the weekend. Smoker for 40 years, refused to quit because she thought the damage was already done, and now it appears she was right. She is the last of my grandparents and the ending of a generation. Although her situation is tough I can honestly say it has tremendously strengthened my resolve on the smoking issue. 6 days, not a single puff and today I hardly thought of it. I'm still here and I promise you I am in the best physical and mental place I've been in for as long as I can remember. I'm finding myself the pilar of strength for my family right now, instead of being the one who always "needed" something. It really is the best feeling in the world and I wonder how I ever got sucked into being someone I wasn't. Even though the problems seem to be falling out of the sky right now I have really understood the solution is not, or ever should have been drugs. I feel this test (and all these tests) are the final solution sent down from above to reinforce one simple truth. I am the master of me. No drug, no problem, or no anything can step in front of me and what I want. Which is to be clean, healthy and happy. I did feel bad about not being able to post and I think of you all the time too but don't worry about me, thats the last thing you need right now. Right now when your trying to clean up is the only time I think you should be selfish. Do for you, its the means to a wonderful end. Remember that. Your in my prayers and I know you'll be great.
JUST QUIT

Hydrohead...I'm always happy to hear that my story might have if nothing else got someone thinking about their own situation and how they could make it better. I think if you are really serious about cleaning up you are in the right place. People in here including myself live it and feel it just like you do, and If anyone can help you slay that dragon its someone who already has a bunch of heads on there wall. From your post I can see you have got a very good head on your shoulders, and I think I'm going to try the OTC creams and rubs and maybe a heating patch or something during the day. I thank you for being courageous enouph to post on a hard topic when no one else seemed to have any ideas. You really have been very helpful. I'm sorry to hear about your DeQuere Vains syndrome and the problems its caused you but it seems to me your looking in the right direction. Stay focused on who you want to be and I know you will get there. Best of Luck and thanks again for the post. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask... Justquit