I was ready to give up and die, but called and got some dalmane to withdraw from the "on call dr". Then spoke today with the psych dr I just saw 1#. She made some good observations: I have "anxiety" I never abused the pills? nope, only "as needed" then use "as needed" and she will watch the progress..if things seem not working discuss "options"? I wanted to never use a pill, but from what she says, some of us need them? I keep fighting the beast thinking I can handle everything, as I have. Just knowing I may sleep tonight and have a clear head tomorrow is so comforting! addicted maybe? but I sure can't live this way! All the over the counter meds dont' work for me when one gets so overloaded with anxiety and no sleep. So I pray for tonight and start dealing with a clear head!! Then I can attack this in a more positive way, tapering was way too fast!!