Thanks in advance to those who read my post.

About two years or so ago I realized that I suffered from depression, which started I think when I was 11 or 12. Last year I realized that I also have some form of anxiety which I can remember having as far back as middle school, but I at the time I never understood what it was. I'm an 18 year old senior in high school and I thought I could try and do something about it next year when I go to college. My dad is a physician, but for some reason I don't want to tell him of my problems. Some of that I'm sure stems from being the near-perfect child, always having high grades and playing sports, soccer and football for my high school.

My anxiety is what bothers me the most. It affects me in certain social situations and being around certain females. It just grips me and I feel so self-concious about my breathing, where my eyes are focused, what am I doing, what am I gunna say, what am I looking at, what am I going to do next, and I'm no longer comfortable. I become quiet and non-sociable and I just seem to withdraw as I try to conceal my anxiety from everybody else. Sometimes I show physical signs of my anxiety, sweaty palms, sometimes my face will blush, and when it's real bad my hands will tremble slightly. It's a terrible feeling and it severly inhibits my ability to get into a relationship. I've tried calming myself down when my anxiety comes around, but nothing I do really seems to work and I think I need to see a professional to help me get rid of it.

But I don't want my dad to be the professional. I can't really explain why, but I don't want my parents or anyone close to me knowing about what I go through. I know that's probably an unhealthy impulse that I have. I think I'm going to schedule an appointment with a doctor in a nearby city to see if I can't get on the road to recovering from this hell. What kind of doctor do I set an appointment with, a psychiatrist or a regular family practioner or what? How would an appointment like this cost? I know my parents have health insurance for me, but I have no idea what it covers and I'm sure my parents would wonder why I am visiting the doctor, so I'll just pay for it myself. And what do I tell the doctor once I'm there? All I need to tell him is that I'm anxious and depressed?

Hi,
I don't think there is anything wrong with you not wanting your parents involved, or even knowing about this. It can be a scary thing. I am sure your parents could handle it- and they may even be very helpful for you, but if you are afraid of your dad 'doctoring you' or what have you, then I could understand you not wanting them to know at first.

(I am assuming you are in the U.S., if you aren't I apologize, I am not familiar with the healthcare system in other countries)

However, I think it would be easier if you did just tell them, but explain to them that this is something you need to take care of on your own. If you try to go at this on your own without using your parents insurance, it is going to cost you a small fortune (unless you get your own private insurance).

Not that I am suggesting that you should put this off- but I wanted to mention that when you go off to college- most of them (I think?, the ones I have been to) have counseling services available to the students. It is "free" for the students (You pay for it through the health service fees when you pay to enroll, you pay it no matter what, if you use the health services or not), So, if you are set on it being your private business, this might be the easiest way for you to take care of it since you won't have to spend a fortune. It might be something to look into at the college you plan to attend.

Could you make an appointment with your family doctor and talk to him about it (Or is your dad the family doctor)? Obviously he is not allowed to discuss anything you have talked with him about to your dad, so maybe you could make up some excuse as to why you are going. He might be able to help you out with finding a way to do this on your own.

Hey, thanks for the response. My dad does happen to be my family doctor and we do live in the United States :)

How much of small fortune could we be talking about here? I've got a couple thousand saved away and I'll pay just about any price to get rid of this problem. Plus I do have a job, so I have a steady source of income. It's the middle of April right now and college starts around late August, so maybe I can get myself started on some sort of program and then use the college health care system to take me the rest of the way. Sound like a good plan?

But for now, I'm just trying to get a ball park figure on how much the initial visit to the doctor would cost.

I just noticed there's a board on here specificaly for anxiety so maybe a moderator could move it over to there.

I feel so self-concious about my breathing, where my eyes are focused, what am I doing, what am I gunna say, what am I looking at, what am I going to do next, and I'm no longer comfortable. I become quiet and non-sociable

I can relate to that so much. I never really realized how much I do that until I read your post, but wow. I really can.

I hope things work out for you! I too am struggling with how to deal with these things.

I can relate to that so much. I never really realized how much I do that until I read your post, but wow. I really can.

I hope things work out for you! I too am struggling with how to deal with these things.

Does anything in particular trigger the anxiety? Some social situations, and definitely speaking in front of big groups will do it for me. Speaking in front of large groups is the worst for me though. A couple months back I was asked to read a Bible passage in front of the church, and when I stood up to read I thought I was gunna die from a panic attack. God that was awful. But speaking to smaller groups isn't nearly so bad, I can give a presentation in one of my classes where there's around 20-30 people and I do feel somewhat anxious, but I can usualy control it.

PLEASE make an appointment to see a mental health professional. My son is 22 and saw his GP and a "counselor" from the age of 15 to 18. After many meds which didn't help, he stopped treatment at 18. At 20, he tried to take his own life. We found out that he is bipolar. I'm not saying I think that you are bipolar, I'm saying that we realized after the fact that he should have been getting very different treatment. The GP didn't have enough experience with this, and the counselor was a social worker. OOPS. You need to make sure that the person you see is a mental health pro. Many people with different types of degrees can be a counselor. You need someone experienced and educated in mental wellness issues. Is your father your primary care provider? You could start with a referral from your regular doctor, if it's not your dad.

As far as not bringing this to your father, I completely understand. Don't feel bad about that. No matter how good or bad your relationship may be, the relationship with your mental health provider and/or counselor needs to be very intimate. You need to be able to share some deep stuff with them to be helped well. It really can't be someone you know in any other way. You may be surprised to see how good it can feel to just unload to an impartial caring ear who can help you (like here but better!) You may find that your dad understands this already. Is there any other family member who you could ask to help you break this to them?

A psychologist or psychiatrist is usually about $100 per session where I live, and if you are 18, even if your parents' insurance pays for it, the provider cannot speak with your folks about your situation without your written permission.

My son is OK now, with the proper treatment and medication. Many mental health issues are more easily diagnosed now. Sometimes it just takes time, and that is when a therapist helps! Please help yourself soon, the longer you wait, the easier it is to put off. Take care and good luck, Kim