I'm hoping someone out there will understand what this post is about. It might be best if I start out with an example.
Last week was my first week at a new job. I have never done retail before, so I was kinda nervous. I was doing ok, even though I don't have a lot of knowledge about what I am selling (I'm still learning!) Then on Saturday, my manager grabed my hand & took me over to the front door. She explained that there was a sensor on the door that counted how many people go in & out of the store. She had noticed that I just wandered out & then back in. She explained that this would now lower some numbers for the store (based on people that actually bought something - something like that). I felt so stupid for not knowing this & for screwing it up. I haven't been able to let this go!
I think about it often and feel embarassed & stupid. I know that I am overreacting to it, but that doesn't make it any easier to cope with.
This sometimes happens to me when I say something stupid (everyone does once in a while, right?!?) I keep replaying the conversation in my head, convinced that the people I was talking to now have a lower opinion of me.
This has gotten better & hasn't occurred so frequently since I started taking Zoloft (about 7 weeks ago). I feel really good overall - not depressed very much anymore, but this is still something that bothers me.
Anyone else know what I am talking about? Any tips?
Claire

Hi Cleo
I know where you are coming from. For me its not just interaction with other people, although it often can be. I seem to get fixated on anything that is bugging me at all. And I usually can not get it out of my head untill something else comes along or untill I fix it. My counsellor told me to write a journal everying night before I go to bed......and although I really did not want to at first (I do enough writing at University) I gave it a try. I write down exactly whats bugging me, and how I could fix them if possible, and also any good things that happened during the day or that I am looking forward to. After about a week and a half of doing this I noticed it really helps. I am also on my 5th week of Celexa, so that also is helping me. I hope things work out for you!

Kristen

[This message has been edited by holidaygirl (edited 10-15-2003).]

I think most of us with depression have a low enough self-esteem and when something occurs, that is a criticism or some type of advice, it only enhances our low self-esteem. I know exactly where you are coming from, criticism is the LAST thing we want from anyone. We doubt ourselves enough without anyone else doing it to us. I also have a hard time letting things like that go. Guess it's a symptom of our disease of depression.

Thanks guys! I never thought of it as a self-esteem issue, but that makes a lot of sense.

I understand.

Last Friday I upset one of my co-workers (I made a comment which offended them).

Managed to clear the mis-understanding.

However, that comment ruined me for the rest of Friday, All day Saturday, and by Sunday I let go.

So I can let go, it just takes a long time ;/

Cleo Cat,

Give cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) a shot as it will teach you tools that enable you to let stuff go.

Billy