I'll admit that I have led a pretty sheltered life - my mother never encouraged me to go anywhere or do anything outside the house, and she never found it to be weird that I had no friends to call or hang out with. She, in fact, preferred that I stayed at home so she could keep an eye on me. Now that I'm 18, it's really not a good lifestyle to be stuck in, but I feel as though I can't escape my own feelings.

Like most people, I would like to get out from under my mom's skirt and do things for myself, mainly getting a job. The thing is that I have never had a job or even felt inclined to get one. I get extremely anxious about having to get a job because I've never had one and I always worry that I'll be too stupid to do it, even if it's as simple as greeting people at the cash register. Also, I have major social anxiety issues and I don't really know how to interact with others. I don't know how I would be able to survive an interview without lookking like an idiot because I tend to stumble over my words.

I have been trying to take very small steps - I'm an art major, and I've been looking for art-related work on the internet. I've sent information and samples of my work to at least a dozen people, but no one has replied, so I assume that I just suck.

It's not just the job issue, either. I really fear real life as well - I worry that I won't know how to pay bills or balance a checkbook. I worry that I'll have to be stuck rooming with people I don't know or don't like in the future in order to pay rent. I worry that I'll live with my mom for years to come. I worry that I will never be able to get a job in the field of art in the futute because my skills won't be developed enough. In a nutshell, I'm terrified of what life will throw at me in the future.
{REMOVED}My main reason for going to college was so I could avoid real life for a couple more years, but I won't be in college forever, and I'm running out of options.

Have any of you ever felt this way?

{REMOVED}With that being said, don't you want to experience all of the things life has to offer? Take it in baby steps, make a friend or two at your school before you graduate. Get a part time job as a cashier or in the kitchen at a fast food resturant *that way you don't have to deal with the customers*. Paxil or some other medication will help your social anxiety. I am 19, and I already have a child and live with my husband. Its not that difficult to make it on your own. I hope this helps and if you need to talk,{REMOVED}

Dark Stranger,

You'll find that paying bills and balancing a checkbook are extremely easy to do and take very little time. Besides, you'll usually have the same bills sent to you each month which makes it even easier. Please don't make the mistake that myself and many others make in our youth, and go out a buy alot of things on credit which means high interest rates. Also, in my opinion, don't go and buy a new car....settle for a decent used one. In other words, don't go putting yourself unneccessarily in debt and then be forced to have AND keep some higher paying job that you will have trouble leaving should you start to dislike it. Also you will have trouble saving enough money to make a down payment on a house and thus be forced to pay rent for who knows how long. Keep your finances simple!

Try not to look at the life that is ahead of you in one big chunk as you seem to be doing. Take life one moment at a time. Read spiritual books that talk about slowing down and keeping life more simple, peaceful and free. Besides, isn't that the bottom line result that people want from their daily frantic, hectic, worrysome striving - they're ultimately hoping it will bring them more peace. Why not have that peace now, instead of trying to find it through social status, money etc,... (not saying you're looking for social status, etc,.... but you get my point) You'll find that you can take life in a calm, relaxed, peaceful manner if you choose to. For many, including myself, it takes some practice. Spiritual practices such as meditation and mindfulness sure help to accelerate the process, but aren't by ANY means essential.
There's no need for running around in a stressed, frenzied state all the time as some people CHOOSE to do.

Also, some people make life hard by looking at the negative side of everything. A positive can be found in every single occurrence, but people many times won't find that positive because they're not looking for it, especially when they're busy only noticing what they perceive to be negatives. By finding the positives in everything, you will start to gain confidence and be more at peace. As your confidence grows, it will become easier to find those positives, especially since it will have started to become a natural habit. Finding the positives, instead of dwelling on perceived negatives, is a very, very important tool to have, and I can't overstate it enough. Finding the positive can bring about learning and growth, or simply make you feel more at ease with something that occurred, or preferably both.

I know I haven't addressed some of the other issues you brought up, but by developing a relaxed and positive attitude in regards to life, many of the so-called problems of life become easier to deal with and in many cases, they're no longer even considered a problem. Life is what we make it and don't let anyone tell you that it HAS to be hard...as some told me when I was growing up. There will be times when you will be put to the test - such as now - but when you see these times as opportunities for growth, and you then capitilize on it, you come out stronger and all the better for it. Hope some of this helps.

Steve

With All Due Respect..you Are Still A Child..18 Doesn't Make You An Instant Adult..i Think Somewhere In Your Mind Being 18..means You're An Adult And That's Not Necessarily True..some Mature Faster, Some Slower..doesn't Mean Anything More Or Less..you're Afraid Because That Silly Number 18 Is Somehow Playing Mind Games With You..you May Even Have Some Anxiety Issues And Maybe Even Mild Depression...see A Doctor..he'll Know Just What To Do..effexor Does Wonders..i Know! Help Yourself, Get A Friend, Use Lavender Scents For Relaxation..get A Part Time Job, 20 Hours A Week..there's All Kind..pick Something..you'll Do Fine..and Most Of All..don't Sweat The Small Stuff..

I do try my best to take life one step at a time, especially with school. At times, I get overwhelmed about work I need to do, but when I tackle assignments one at a time, they get done easier and with little stress. It's just that I have been sheltered from life for almost my entire existence, and I don't know how to react to real-life situations, and I'm terrified to learn about certain things. Almost everyone thinks I don't have a job because I'm lazy, but that's not it - I'm downright scared to work, and I'm too ashamed to tell people this. I have told one person this before, and they told me I was saying I was scared as an excuse to be lazy and not work.

It also doesn't help when I have no confidence in myself. I always believe I will never be able to do something, and when I get through it, I just feel as though I have not done well on it. And I have a hard time believing people when they tell me I have done well on something - I've had a couple of my instructors tell me I have great talents, and I have told them that they overestimate me...yielding no further response from them.

I have no idea why I have such a negative view on myself and my abilities. It's so easy for people to say "Just be confident" - when I try to do that, I feel like a hypocrite because thinking positively does not come naturally to me. I'm a pessimist to the extreme for reasons unknown - in a nutshell, I don't know how to be optimistic because I can't see the good in any situation until I experience it, and when I do, I consider it to be coincidental or lucky that I had the experience.

I was kind of happy because I may be doing some artwork for a woman promoting a sitcom idea, but I've been feeling incompetent because I have yet to be able to picture her ideas in my head, and I worry that my abilities will not meet her standards, even though she said she would be happy to pay me more for my services if her budget allowed (she really liked the sample art I showed her). I want to do this because I really need the money and I want to give freelancing a shot, but I'm worried that I'll screw up. {end pessimism}

Thanks you, everyone, for your replies. It feels good to vent about all this stuff, and I appreciate everyone's advice.

I really liked steve's post.I think you should try getting into therapy and get some self help books