ugly story :(

Last April, while trying to get a referral for a new neurologist to prescribe me my epilepsy medication after my insurance company switched over and stopped covering my old neurologist, I decided to have a bothersome mole removed by my GP so as not to waste the visit simply for a referral. (I am such a pennypincher!)

The mole turned out to be malignant melanoma. The diagnosis came on my 4th wedding anniversary.

Surgery was performed on May 23rd. They removed lymph nodes, and a section of skin roughly 14 inches long and 4 inches wide (at the widest point). The very odd location of the melanoma left a very odd scar... Women will understand this description better than men, but here goes... the mole was situated on my hip/upper thigh/side, right where the three seams meet on the leg of "granny panties". LOL The surgery left a scar that is 14 inches long that goes from (picture yourself wearing tight jeans to imagine this) the lowest part of the front pocket, around the side where that underwear line would be, to the top of the back pocket. It looks horrible, but that is the least of my worries...

Around late July after many visits back to the surgeon telling her that I was still unable to put any pressure on that side, i noticed that the previously "numb" section of skin was oddly sensitive. One particular instance I remember was when we were fooling around with cardboard "swords" while assembling a basketball goal and my son swatted my hip with no more force than one would swat a baby's bottom... but it brought me to my knees in tears. There was also a fairly large lump (about the size of a 12-oz can of soda) just below the scar.

I had been to the surgeon only a week before and been told "everything is fine. you have a little fluid build up, but that should go away." I knew it was time to visit my GP again.

I put it off a few weeks still thinking that it would get better on its own, and finally went in early september. He gave me cortisone shots into the scar. By a few hours later I was screaming at my husband to "DO SOMETHING!!!!" Poor guy never knew what hit him... I was in terrible pain. It felt like lightning striking my hip every few seconds. The next day I went back and got Lidocaine patches.. and so began my quest for relief

The GP sent me back to the same surgeon again in October for a second surgery. She removed another section of skin (4" x .5") and said that it was a "one-in-a-million thing" and that I should have no further problems now. She said that the nerves had become spiralled instead of growing back together properly.

WELL!

First visit post-surgery... all ok... still swollen really bad and I associated the pain with typical post-surgical pain.
Second visit.. The lightning-pain was beginning to return. the swelling had not gone down any. I reported everything to the surgeon.

In December I went for a CT scan. From that the surgeon determined that there was 30cc of fluid in the wound and drained it in a subsequent appointment. Her comment following the procedure made me so angry.... she said "the amount of fluid i drained is disproportionate with the amount of pain you say you are experiencing"

no ***** sherlock!

I felt like responding "well then you'd better stick that needle into my head and pull something out of there since that is where you think the pain is"...... but i didn't... i should have though!

She then started mumbling something about "pain management". She was writing me off... She had done everything surgically possible to fix me??? wth???

I went home with a "I'll show her... I'll show them all !!" attitude. I stopped using the patches, I stopped taking any pain pills. (I had a tonne of them stockpiled from the surgeries since i hate taking painpills) I spent 2 months in misery. In late January, my husband had had enough. my depression was out of hand, i was not sleeping, my day consisted of laying on the sofa exhausted and crying and there was nothing he could do. He finally convinced me that he thought my pain was real, and because he thought so, a doctor might think so too.

I went back to my GP. He gave me Lyrica, and a refillable script for Lidocaine patches. It was more of a relief to be believed. But, whaddya know, back on Jan 1st, insurance company changed again, and I never needed that original referral to a neurologist (which I never did get because of everything else) My GP told me to go back to my old neurologist and explain the story. I did, and was given refillable lyrica.

The neurologist also said I should go to pain management... i blatantly told her that I was not ready to be written off. She suggested that I research "diabetic neuropathy". weird. I am not diabetic. I know exactly what that is and this it ain't.

By this point, the pain is not just around the scar area... All the way down the back of my leg hurts now and halfway up my butt-cheek. I can't sit properly. The skin hurts to the point that clothes hurt. Air hurts. I hate when the kids are home... it means I have to get dressed.

Now, i'm none too happy about being on any pain meds at all to begin with. I hate taking anything! I feel so dopey... I used to have an IQ of 168... I don't feel that bright anymore. I'll ask the kids the same question 5-6 times within an hour and get the same answer each time... they think I'm trying to trip them up when in reality I just don't remember asking the question. It's maddening!

whew.. i really need to copy/paste this tale into a msword document so I don't have to re-type it each time!