My therapist told me she wanted to make me less dependent on therapy. (assuming that i was dependent.) And thinks that I should not go to a group therapy next year when i go away to school because she wants me to make real friends outside of therapy. She told me that therapy friendships are kind of fake because they are built around the common problem (ie. eating disorder). It kind of hurt when she said that because i feel like the only real friends that i have are from therapy. Like the only people who are real with me are the ones that i've met in therapy.

I don't know where to go from here. Can you become too dependent on therapy and how do you know if you are? Is my therapist right in telling me that she thought I should only see her every other week?

Hm - I don't know, but to me, that sounds ridiculous. I think that you become less dependent on therapy only as you recover and until then, of course, you are dependent on it! I think that if you feel like your group sessions are helping you and you really connect with the people there, you should absolutely continue it.
There is nothing wrong with feeling close to your friends from therapy, but you should also try to connect with people outside of therapy, too. What about your friends you had before you went into therapy? Sometimes it can be great to have a close friend with a fresh/normal perspective.
I say continue with your group sessions and just know in the back of your head that you will be leaving soon and, instead of feeling scared, feel EXCITED about the chance to meet new people at school next year! It will be easier than you think and very healthy for you, too. I don't think you need to worry about being too dependent on therapy though....at least not in my opinion.

manda,

i kind of agree with ls and i kind of don't. (apparently i don't really know what i think, lol!) i DO feel that you (not you in particular, "anyone") can become too dependant on therapy. i agree that the independence from therapy happens naturally as you begin to recover; however, i can see how we (myself included) might depend a little too much on the support offered by therapy. do you know what i mean? it's like we COULD actually be even further along in recovery but we're almost subconsciously holding ourselves back because we fear losing part of the safety net of therapy/support groups. almost like we don't trust ourselves that we can really do it on our own. just think how scary it seems to think of just quitting therapy 100%? pretty friggin' terrifying, right? obviously you aren't ready for that (nor would it be good or helpful at all), but i think that fear exists on a smaller level in terms of depending on therapy less. like we don't want to be left alone because we don't trust that we ARE strong enough to beat our eds, you know?

i actually agree with your therapist, i think. the end goal is to help you build the confidence within yourself and know that you YOURSELF have overcome your ed, right? and doing that requires you to learn to trust and believe in yourself and your strength. i'm not saying you don't right now, but i think your therapist might be sensing that you're ready for more, that you need to sort of jump in feet first and just brave it out, you know? and in terms of the group therapy, i know it seems crappy cuz you'll lose all your friends that you've made. but like ls said, you're gonna make a TON of new friends at school and (for me at least) it's more REFRESHING to hang out with people who don't have eds -- i find that i tend to focus on my own LESS cuz i see how free and happy life "without ed" can be. the other important thing that your therapist might be sensing is that your group opportunities are actually holding you back from recovery. again, i don't know how accurate this is, but i could see how you may be further along than others and being around people who aren't at your level is actually hurting instead of helping.

anyway, just some thoughts. hope they help!

How dare you not think exactly the same way as me, Joni!!! Haha - just kidding. I actually agree with what you said.
Personally, I do not think the way in which your therapist went about TELLING you that you were too dependent on therapy was very tactful. I can imagine that if my therapist told me that I would sort of panic and feel bad about myself and think "is she saying I have no life/friends outside of therapy!?" You know?
I do think that part of therapy (most of therapy) is learning to become strong and independent and learning to overcome ED and function in the real world, but I also think that if you try to break away too early, the results can be detrimental.
Just as I sometimes think "I'm doing great! I've been eating according to my meal plan for four days straight! I don't need help anymore!"...and then two days later I'm back to my old ways. You can't always trust yourself right now and that is why therapy is crucial.
I do not attend group therapy so I can't really relate to ED friends and the whole group setting, but I can understand how it might feel. I would say not to worry about it too much but DEFINITElY be aware in the back of your head that you are going to have to break away soon and be "on your own" in a sense. Don't worry - you can do it! It just sounds scary...but when it happens, you'll be ready.

Hope my advice isn't TOO confusing...I tend to jump around a lot.

heey sweetie...
In reply... i have a similar problem... i think I have been too dependant on therapy... my friends that I would count as "true" friends are from therapy or something linked to my ED... its strange, i dont know what I would do without them tho... if someone took away my friends from therapy, I think I would be totally totally totally alone! But i think it depends on ther person, and thier life, way of living and way of dealing with things.
My therapist is quitting her job, meaning I wont be able to see her anymore - this proves how dependant I am on therapy...because it is breaking me down!...
Stay strong sweetie.. do what is right for you!
X Hannie X

thanks for all your replies, it's nice to hear contrasting opinions. I guess I kind of felt like she was telling me that all my friends from therapy couldn't be real friends. And I feel like those are the only "real" friends I have because I am realizing that my other friends are not exactly the type of friends that I want.

And I was also upset that she brought it up right now, because at the moment I feel like I'm on a teetertotter, and I could go either way. Like I could so easily slip back to where I was. And I feel like I am falling back down into a hole already and nobody seems to notice!