Since I last let out a rant. I have been medicating the Major Depression for months now and yet it is still here. I do not know what I expected, maybe the depression to be knocked down to a minor depression. My life is in shambles and I do not understand what is happenning around me. Have a Doctors appoinment tomorrow and I am sure he will be adjusting my meds again, definately the one for sleep because boy is that one not working. I have seen so many people come and go and I hope the ones who have left are cured or at least something that resembles it. I have seen post revert to drug debates instead of sharing experiences and trying to make each other well. I don't know what I am saying, I am tired and I can't sleep again.

take care
trg247

Hey t, good to see you,

Getting a little fed up with this cr**, huh? Can't say I blame you one bit. It is all so frustrating trying to find stuff that works and works okay together. It sounds a little like you think you're one of the last ones getting better?? I know a bunch of moms on postpartum boards who also have struggled for as long and longer. Anxiety and/or bipolar (2, usually) seem to play a part in it for the moms. Some I have known for 2 years, and one only recently found out about the possible BP II dx, and she has been so frustrated watching people come and go while she feels she's in the same place more or less.

I don't know what to say except I wish there were a magic wand to wave and "bing!" you'd feel great. I hope your appointment goes well/finds some thing to turn things around for you.
I'm afraid I was part of those debates, unfortunately. :(
always wishing you the best,

Went to the doctors today and the usual standard of questions. He asked if I wanted a bed in the hospital and I said no, just not ready to relive that experience again. He said that depression normally last six to eight months and if I do not start to feel better my diagnosis is going to change to Chronic Major Depressive Disorder or long term depression. Anyway he raised one of my meds, trazadone, in the hope I will start sleeping better.

mNUT the debates I was referring to were the ones on to use drugs or not, they seemed to show up on every post.

take care
trg247

Hi trg,

Wow, I was happy to see your post, but was hoping you had good news. I'm so sorry that things aren't any better for you. You kind of get a double whammy because you can't even sleep at night after a day of that sucks.

I wish your psyc units were like we have here. I was under no pressure, and if a person signs themself in, they can sign themselves out if they aren't a danger to themselves or others. But, I know exactly how you feel. We have an out-patient mental health here and they want you to be there by 7 every morning and stay until 5. I didn't like the dr's and never saw a psychiatrist. Thing there were very scarey.

I want you to get well so bad. Your dr. didn't change or suggest changing your meds?? I know that's not easy either, but if one worked better it would probably be worth it.

I know what you mean about the arguing about meds. It's pointless.
Please take care and keep posting. We look for your posts to see how you're doing. TC..........Connie :)

I spent the last few days trying to comprehend the position I am in. I don't think I am going to be able to improve over the next month. It is taking so much of my energy just to maintain the level I am at now. My doctor did not mention any other med changes except we need to treat long term depression differently but I have no idea what that means. I do not know what to do but keep plugging away but it just seems every step I take there is a wall in the way

take care
trg247

{{cyber hug}} I'm sorry, trg. I'm glad for the update, but sad for your current situation. There has GOT to be a way that those darn bricks in the wall can start being taken down. You're a kind person who deserves to feel mentally healthy. I sure wish I could do something to help. :|

Thanks for the support it is greatly appreciated. My doctor and I have talked about counselling but he does not believe it would be benificial at this time as all my energy is diverted somewhere else.

take care
trg247

Yeah, if you're trying to keep your head above water and feet on the ground, any kind of deep counseling is possibly detrimental. But, what about just interpersonal therapy where you just talk about whatever the heck is on your mind, without going and dredging up old, painful stuff? Coping skills? Cognitive behavioral? Oh.....that does sound like even that could take up some energy; energy you just said that you don't have. :|

Energy levels are funny as I seem to have more late at night which is not really the greatest thing. I usually take my meds around 12am to 1am but they take close to two hours to kick in. This is annoying I have way too much energy right now

take care
trg247