Hello, I've posted here before, however over the months, my feelings and thoughts have changed, slightly. But they have changed.

It all started when I decided id go clubbing and took 6 XTC pills, Id done this dosage 3 times b4 with no problems. I also smoked a few joints of weed. I was also on pain killers. I became very paranoid, thought everyone wa slooking at me, and were trying to kill me, went home thought the same about my parents, was in my parents car, and thought someone was coming up to get in, I nearly flipped out, but my Dad calmed me down. Anyway after two weeks it went away, I was back to my normal self... 3 months later, I'm stuck with anxiety, depression, upset, feeling alone, general depression. Thought people were plotting against me, friends wern't my friends, they are all fake. Anyway this graduly went down, and leveld off. Now to the point 5 months later, where I sometimes think the world is fake its set up just for me, everyone knows who I am. People know what I've done. And siturations are only set up for me, for example, when I'm at work, I feel that thats the only place with people, like they are only there for me. I feel I'm going to come to harm, everyone is going to hurt me or something, and I feel theres no way out, say for example if I killed my self, I think that I'll wake up in a room with loads of people around me, hurting me, or a natrual death. I'm now 18. Most times I'm ok now, as I say the problems have got less and less, but these thoughts scare me so much!!.. Thank you all.

Hello, I've posted here before, however over the months, my feelings and thoughts have changed, slightly. But they have changed.

It all started when I decided id go clubbing and took 6 XTC pills, Id done this dosage 3 times b4 with no problems. I also smoked a few joints of weed. I was also on pain killers. I became very paranoid, thought everyone wa slooking at me, and were trying to kill me, went home thought the same about my parents, was in my parents car, and thought someone was coming up to get in, I nearly flipped out, but my Dad calmed me down. Anyway after two weeks it went away, I was back to my normal self... 3 months later, I'm stuck with anxiety, depression, upset, feeling alone, general depression. Thought people were plotting against me, friends wern't my friends, they are all fake. Anyway this graduly went down, and leveld off. Now to the point 5 months later, where I sometimes think the world is fake its set up just for me, everyone knows who I am. People know what I've done. And siturations are only set up for me, for example, when I'm at work, I feel that thats the only place with people, like they are only there for me. I feel I'm going to come to harm, everyone is going to hurt me or something, and I feel theres no way out, say for example if I killed my self, I think that I'll wake up in a room with loads of people around me, hurting me, or a natrual death. I'm now 18. Most times I'm ok now, as I say the problems have got less and less, but these thoughts scare me so much!!.. Thank you all.

Depression and anxiety are terrible things, and you are very young to have such feelings. If you need help, call 911 immediately. There is always someone on these boards if you need help and or advise. Keep posting your thoughts, somethimes just typing them out makes you feel better.

Beachlady

Hi there.

Having a bad experience while using recreational drugs can stay with you for a long time. The anxiety and paranoia that follow are not fun things to deal with. Repeating the use of any drug for recreational purposes may possibly make your situation worse, I would recommend quitting altogether. I don't know the exact chemistry behind the way "XTC" works, but I do know that a few large doses (as you have taken) are much more damaging than small recreational doses, and will severely interrupt you serotonin level for a long time. I've known people to come off of it and not be "right" for a year or two. But do take to heart, if you cease doing things that interrupt your brain's natural chemistry, everything does come back to normal eventually, especially with you being so young.

Do you have any hobbies? Keep doing things that you find meaningful, whether it is to accomplish a long term goal or not, this will help you to feel more secure and confident about yourself. Just relax. Exercise and eat healthy. Don't associate on a regular basis with people that give you bad vibes. If things don't continue to keep getting better, you may also want to consider seeing a psychologist, drug counselor, or attending an open Narcotics Anonymous meeting. I'm not suggesting that you have a drug problem, but you would probably find a lot of people who have already been exactly where you are now and would be able to give you comfort and good advice.

Also keep in mind that your brain is still developing, the hippocampus

...known to be associated with the consolidation of episodic memories, which are memories of personally experienced events and their associated emotions (Anissimov, Michael. "What is the Hippocampus?" 2006)

is thought to mature by the age of 25. This is whan most people have developed their sense of "emotional intelligence." My late teen years was probably the worst time I ever spent on my own, but looking back years later I can see I sure did learn a lot! So just make good decisions and take care of yourself.

I guess I am in an "informative" mood :rolleyes: , I hope this helps. Good luck.

helpmeme,

Well, mellowfish caught the informational side, I'll try for the emotional side. ;) It sounds like you feel scared that things may never revert back to how you used to be. You want to know how long the "clear out" time is, and if you will get back to the same place you were before. The paranoia scares you and you sometimes kind of wonder what is real, what people are saying about you, ARE they saying anything about you at all....

If I suggest talking openly to your doctor, will I sound too much like your mother? Or maybe call (just for information) a drug rehab place and see if they can give you information over the phone. Since you are 18 your parents can't have access to the things you tell your doctor, not without you consent. It might help to start any conversation with the doctor, if you were to go that route, with something like "I am hoping you can help me, hear me, and will spare me from any lecture..." If you call around for information, you could block your phone number by putting *67 before the number you call.

I haven't tried m/any of the things you mentioned, but have been paranoid before. It's not a good experience, for sure. Oh, and I guess it would make it all the more difficult, possibly, to reach out for help. You've done this much, posting...keep reaching out, and keep us posted too.

Thank you all, I've told my parents, and I'm seeing a hypnotherapist to try help clear my head, I havn't done any drugs for 6 months! I learn't my lesson that night. So thats a start. These paranoid thoughts get really bad like, I'm going to be tortured or something like that.. Most times I'm completely fine, then it just hits me bang in the face and i feel down. When I wake up. the first few hours I feel 110% fine like I used to do!

Could some more people, offer me some advise, guidance etc please. As I'm so keen to overcome this slight problem in my life. I'm staying positive, and fighting this the best I can, even though with these feelings/thoughts it makes me wonder what the point in doing so is. Thank you!