I think that I may have depression but I just don't know. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism which I thought was what was cuasing my issues. Well, right now there is a question as to whether or not I really am hypo. My medication is doing NOTHING for me but taking the sensation away that there is something in the back of my throat. That is it. All my other symptoms are still there. They have uppsed my medication once already and it is still doing nothing. They will not up me again until they feel that I truly have hypo.

The thing that is very clear to me is that I was never a person who worried about things. Now it seems that I am anxious about a lot of things and I can't stop. Is being anxious a sign of depression? I worry about the most bizzare things too. I am somewhat of a germ freak and have been for a while. But now it is getting much worse. I wash my hands contstantly because they feel dirty. If I clean my bathroom with rubber gloves on, I will wash the rubber gloves while they are on my hands because I just need to. I follow Tim around the kitchen if he is cooking meat and will spray down the counters with cleaner because I freak about the "meat juice" getting on the counters. He will go to the bathroom at night or change Connor's diaper and I will listen for the sink to make sure he is washing his hands. If I think that I did not hear it, I will stay awake and finally ask him if he washed his hands because I canot sleep if I do not know. I am sure that he feels like a 5 year old. Things like that. Another thing is that I have NO libido and will have sex with Tim because I worry if I don't, he will find it somewhere else. I know that he never would but I will worry about it. I am deathly afraid of tornadoes all of a sudden. To the point where last year I made Tim build a little room under the stair for us to go in case of a tornado. People laugh at this but it is a SERIOUS thing for me. If it even looks like it might be bad weather I start to freak out. And I have dreams about tornadoes at least once a month.

I have all the other signs of depression as well. Weight gain, restless sleep, tired ALL the time, bitchy all the time, don't really enjoy much......but I have to say that this anxiety thing is really bothering me. I feel like I am a psyco.

Does anyone have any advice or maybe you can share with me if you have felt this way as well?

Krisitne

Hi Kristine,

Welcome back. Those new worries you are having, or not so new, those sound like the anxiety/obessession kinds of things the PPD moms I know (and me too when my dd was a baby) worry about. All of them. The meat juice, tornados, germs, and many more (but I don't want to add ideas to what you have already), these are all common.

At this point, in the US they would likely diagnose depression/anxiety (yes, they are related), but it does sound like it started quite some time ago and just never got treated. Talk to your doctor about what options are there for you if this is depression/anxiety.

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Personally, you have so many of the same symptoms I did. A little Zoloft, a short term antianxiety med and taking the Zoloft for 6 months (--12 months) got me back to being the mom I used to be (dd is the 2nd born). If it came down to it, how would you feel about maybe taking an antidepressant for a fairly short while? None of us ever imagines themselves needing to take these, or feeling like this. What do you think? Oh, and they can be taken at the same time as thyroid meds.

Good call on the thyroid piece, as it often has similar symptoms to PPD, PPAnxiety.

Wow, thank you so much for telling me that I am not alone in this. I was feeling quite out of sorts about it all, thinking that if I told anyone they would think I was crazy.

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I am VERY interested in finding out more about this and finding good Dr.'s that can help with it.

I am now at the point where I am open to taking medication for it simply because I want my life back. It is not ideal to be on medication but if it will make me happy again, then I am willing to give it a try.

Kristine

{sorry mod2--I hope this post is okay}

Kristine,

I think you may be able to post a post in the Research Help Board to ask for information and links about postpartum depression. Even though this is a depression board, postpartum depression is very specific and not the same as depression itself. Some of what people say here applies to you, but not all of it, and with the ocd worries, that many moms have.....well.... You might just try finding something on the general subject of postpartum depression. And keep posting here--we've chatted some, so keep in touch. I have a soft spot for PPD moms. :)