right now i just feel like my eating disorders(now binging, before annorexic) are NEVER going to go away!! im so young and if i cant deal with these things now, will i ever be able to?? i feel like im wasting my teenage years and these disorders are consuming my life!! i want to recover so badly so i can go back to being a normal teenager and enjoying my high school years. how long have you guys had your eating disorders?? has anyone recovered fairly quickly? i guess im just looking for some support here. i just needed to let this out...

ohh ive been the same way for 3 years now. itsl ike.."okay, tomorrow will be a good day" or "okay next week ill be BETTER" pfft, no. i honestly dont see me without mine. thru wat ive been thru help wise, i do a darn good job controlling it, but those thoughts will always be with me.

hey soccer, what are you doing to TRY to make your eating disorders go away? are you in therapy? if not, you should be. i think everyone is different in how long it takes them to recover, but i DO believe that we all CAN overcome our EDs. but you need professional help for that. if you don't get it, then yeah, they'll probably just continue to rule over your life. good luck.

I can totally relate to those feelings of "wasting my teenage years". I had them when everybody was picking on me and I was always the odd one out, and then I had them also when I became anorexic... I just wanted to be happy again, and not have that eating disorder that, as you say, consumed my life...

I just want to tell you, looking back now... well, for one thing, things did change and a lot. During my worst two eating disordered years I would have been surprised to know that just a year later I would go to a different country all by myself and have me a whole new adventure... and oh how happy I felt, like I was flying... the relief...

And then also, just generally - I don't really regret having gone through all that, you know? I believe things happen for a reason. If I hadn't had to endure so much teasing as a young teenager, who knows who I would have become. The thing is, I like who I am now. I may seem a little crazy to some people (being a street musician and helping the homeless and not really having any security, and a poet etc) but I think I am more compassionate toward other people because of what I have been through. So it's not really wasted time. Depending on what you make of it, you know? Everything holds the potential for growth.

Kathrin

to joni- i am seeing a therapist right now, but i just don't think she is the right one for me... it's hard to open up to her and i just can't talk to her like i want to be able to. should i look for someone different or keeping trying with my current therapist?
to kathrin- thanks. it's good to know there's someone who can relate. the thing is... i have never been picked on, and ive always had tons of friends, and i still do- in fact alot of times i feel like im letting them down( example: blowing off plans right after i've binged). its funny how quickly things can change from good to bad or bad to good(like when you went to a different country).
thank you guys for your support!!!

soccer, yes, i think you should look for a new therapist if you don't feel 100% comfortable with the one you're with now. it's great that you're in therapy now, but it doesn't sound like this particular one is helping you as much as a different therapist could. you need one you can totally open up to and "let it all hang out," so to speak. also, i think the right therapist will help you channel that frustration with your ed (in terms of feeling like you're wasting time living with it) into determination and motivation to recover, you know? and for now, just take it one day at a time and try to live each day the best you can. i feel that way too sometimes (frustrated that i'm "missing out" on things because of ed), but then i've just gotta check in with myself and say, "well, this is the best i can do at this time." i may not yet be able to live as freely and happily as i want to, but i just focus on making the best of what i've got right now and looking forward to better days to come. hope this helps and keep your chin up!

thanks joni!! you are a big help!! i will try to channel all that frustration into determination to get rid of ed. thanks again!

to SammyT - hi! i've been reading alot of your posts and i can totally relate to you!! Please help me! omg i dont even know where to begin. in 8th grade i thought i was fat (and i wasnt!) so i lost a ton of weight and got down to like 84 lbs (5''2, now 14 years old) my hair started to fall out my mom was getting really worried and she took me to some specialty doctor and they were trying to find out if i had an eating disorder. They said that i didnt but i know i have something wrong! They dont think i have an eating disorder b/c they put me on a gain weight plan and im following it and all the questions they've asked me (like "do you think any part of your body is TOO fat") i just lied about. i personally dont think im severe. right now im up to 91 lbs. but heres my mix of thoughts:
With every pound i gain, i feel uncomfortable and unhappy but then i get used to it and im like "w/e". then i gain another pound and that cycle happens again.
At the same time i feel like my foods have to be top quality healthy and if they're not then i REFUSE to eat it.
BUT i occasionally ill treat myself.
HOWEVER, sometimes after i treat myself i may feel some guilt and think of how i can better improve.
I do have a social life but i also avoid alot of social interactions b/c im afraid that unhealthy foods and foods that make you fat will be present and all my friends try to make me eat it b.c they think im too thin.
Some days im great and i feel great about myself
Others i just wanna crawl up in a ball and cry.
its like, i know im not fat, but i feel fat so i am fat. omg i dont know im so confused. I just really hope you can help me and we could help each other. Thank you if read this whole thing and im sorry for making it long but im desperate!!! thank you again and good luck to you in your recovery efforts!! :)