hey all! :angel:

happy spring to everyone! well, it sbeen a while since i posted on here. i usually would be on the ed board, due to the fact i used to have a eating disorder.... well, here is my story.....

about a 2 yrs ago i lost about 95 pounds.... i have always struggled up and down with my weight.. i am 24 yrs old and i now weigh 180.. im 5"5... besides that, when i first lost this weight i was at my very highest ever... i lost the weight safe for a while and then i got into a period where all i did was exersice and undereat... in the last year, i stopped working out and watching what i eat... i have a closet full of cute clothes that i only got to wear a few times before i statred to gain again.. true, i have not gained all the weight back but i am in the right direction on doing that unless i stop it now...

i guess my problem is this...i can start eating healthy and working out for a week and then something in my life will happen that either stresses me out or depresses me and i blow my diet off completely... now that its spring i feel terrible.. i tried going clothes shopping but i so badly wanna reach for that size 7 i used to be and i know there is no way its gonna fit.. so i try clothes on that are my size and no mater how cute or flattering they might seem i hate the way i look in them... for example, today i had mcdonald for breakfast with my hubby.... and 2 nite will be chinese this is everyday like this.. god i dont wanna do anything or see anyone till i lose this weight . I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE.... anyhow i know alot of people on here are facing the same issues as well, so i am not looking for an answer but i guess just for a person to lean on or listen.. and i will do the same for you guys cause i know how hard it is to deal with weight issues and self esteem... :(