My obese hubby, 51 yrs old, was undergoing pre-surgery testing before knee replacement surgery. The doctor just called him and told him he is diabetic. We are going to see the doctor NEXT Monday, June 17 to discuss this.

This disease scares the bejeebers out of me. I don't know much about it, except that a friend of mine had her legs amputated and died anyway.

My husband sleeps a lot -- has to have his nap, and we have often thought he was hypoglycemic as he gets very lightheaded and unstable sometimes if he doesn't eat - even though he weighs well over 300 pounds. There is a history of diabetes in his family and he had been tested before and never got a positive result.

He LIVES for food and everytime we have tried to diet he throws a major fit and says whats the point of living if I can't enjoy food--- yada yada yada. He recently was put on Zoloft because of severe anger and anxiety and it has helped, but now I wonder about taking that with the diabetes.

I just don't know anything about the disease, and frankly, I'm scared to go searching for information.

I'm at work and my boss walked by my office and saw me crying and now there is whispering all through the office!

My husband irritates the tar out of me, but I love him dearly and we should have a lot of years ahead of us yet. But I know that if he has to have his legs amputated, he will kill himself. He refuses to live that way. We've lost two children and I can't lose him too. I'm rambling and I need to stop.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me? What the different types of diabetes? Where can I find accurate and easy to understand information on this disease? I'd like to take it with me when we see the doctor next week.

Thank you everyone.
Damn, my eyes are leaking again!

Go to the American Diabetes Assoc. website at this link. http://www.diabetes.org/main/application/commercewf
This will give you accurate and straight forward information. People who loose their legs to diabetes are quite often people who didn't take care of their diabetes and develped sores or circulatory problems that can take longer to heal etc in diabetics. You mentioned your husband not liking diets and living for food but yet I would assume you do the cooking. All this will mean is that you need to make wiser choices as the super market so that you can put better choices of food on the table for meals. It does not have to mean the end of eating nor the end of his life just because he is a diabetic. If he snacks a lot you will have to choose better snacks to keep in the house. Once you see the doctor he will probably set up an appointment with a registered dietician and/or a diabetic nurse who will help you sort all of this out. Look for and join a diabetic support group in your area. Also remember there are a great many people out there that are probably diabetic and you would never know it. Many people you are close to especially co-workers may have diabetes and you don't even know it. Diabetes is only a death sentence if you make it that and since you have a very supportive doc working with your husband plus one who knows his mental/emotional behavior I think things will work out ok. Also if your husband loses some of that weight via better eating habits he may wind up with normal or near normal blood sugars and need nothing more that diet to control his diabetes. Please post again if you have any specific questions or concerns. Someone is always here to listen and offer a suggestion or two.

Your husband's long love affair with food MUST MUST MUST come to a very quick end. Period, end of discussion. If he can't figure out what the point of living is without his food, he'll die soon enough, and I am NOT kidding. Other than clean living--lots of heavy, regular exercise, a very reduced, healthy diet with leafy veggies, whole grains with low fats, low carbohydrates, everything in strict moderation--and testing blood sugar several times each day, plus whatever medications the doctors prescribe--OTHER than these rather overwhelming life-style changes, and a damned improved attitude--you husband should have no problems. Failing to adjust will lead to blindness, kidney failure, amputations and death. I've been diabetic for 37 years. It's not easy and it's not fun, and it never gets much easier. But what's the choice. I prefer a life with restrictions over slow death--I have a career, children and a wife to live for, food is way down on the list. Tell him to quit the whining, get his priorities straight and face it!!

Michael, type 1 since 1965, 40,000 shots into it...

[This message has been edited by MikelBear (edited 06-11-2002).]

Excuse me mlgable...I have had disbetes for almost 35 years and I have lost a leg and I have had a kidney transplant and have bad eyes because of it....I dint ask to get it ..it chose me.

Yes this fellow needs to shape up...but be kinder...someone who is obese ...s;eeps a lot..probably has high bloodsugars...so he will eat eat and eat...he cant help it with the highs he has...he will only succeed if he gets meds and watches what he eats and he cant do that without any help

saskia
bka

Thank you everyone. This is all so very scary for us, but one thing you all have said is to fight & eat right.

Hubby woke up in a cold sweat last night because he dreamed he had a leg amputated.

I am so horrified by that and I feel so bad for those of you who have already suffered this or are nearing it. I just can't imagine.

I'm also VERY impressed with all of you at how you deal with this and live, and I'm very encouraged by the fact that it doesn't shorten your life -- it's not like a disease that only gives one a few months to live. Well, at least not usually.

I'm so much in turmoil and one of the normal human reactions to crisis is to find someone or something to blame -- even though that never changes anything.

I am angry that he wasn't diagnosed years ago when we went to doctors and asked about diabetes -- especially since it runs in his family. We thought maybe hyperglycemia {sp} because he would get wobbly and weak if he didn't eat for a few hours and he has/had "splotchey" places on his legs. The doctor looked at his legs and just said "water retention" and that was it. They never really tested for diabetes and brushed off the hyperglycemia. NO ONE ever told us that there is something similar within diabetes!!! NO ONE ever really tested FOR diabetes even though we asked them too! I hate HMO's!!!!

He has obviously had this for a very long time judging by how long he has had the symptoms. The crap part is, the first doctor we went to, the one that brushed off the idea of hyperglycemia and didn't test (properly or at all?) for diabetes, is the one we are having to go to now, and who FINALLLY diagnosed it -- only because the surgeon for the knee replacement requested it during pre-surgery testing!!! That's who we are meeting on Monday and I am sure going to ask for a copy of ALL of John's medical records from him and ask him why he didn't diagnose this earlier? I'll (try) to be polite about it, but I'm upset. I won't scream, but I may cry and feel angry.

I'm getting my shouting out on this board! Sorry everyone, but I have a feeling you all know how I feel and I hope you can excuse the venting. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif

After my children died I didn't think I would ever be afraid again. I was wrong. I was so wrong.

It's so unfortunate to hear about your husband's condition. But there may be a solution as other people have discussed. I got well from another sickness (different than diabetes) by changing my diet, exercising, and a few other things. I followed a natural course, rather than living in pain with pills and other doctor medications.

I hope you no longer have to cry. After you discuss this with your doctor, I hope that you both can come up with a plan to turn this around. There's a good possiblility that it will be ALRIGHT, if you both want it. In addition, there seems to be a lot of nice people here that can offer you further support.

I have the exact situtation. My husband is obese at
275lb, 6'1" tall, diagnosed early last year by a test kit I got from drugstore.com then confirmed by an M.D. I am very worried and stay that way since he has No Interest in exercise or dieting. What's Really terrible is he does not eat fat free or lowfat foods; he Hates most veggies and would never Consider a salad for a meal. You would never hear him ask for fresh fruit, either. On 2 occasions he described the ONLY TYPE of apple he'd eat and they went bad when I bought them; he didn't eat them. He sleeps; man, that guy can sleep. It is like he's having a love affair with food and sleep. He'll sleep all night then, just like his father, take a 45 min nap AFTER BREAKFAST. Then another after dinner. In bed, under the covers; not a recliner catnap. If I made chocolate chip cookies every night he'd eat them - as many as I'd bake. His favorite food? Pizza buffets, chinese buffets, cheeseburger with milkshake and fries. Carol O'Conner was diabetic; he came on tv and said he'd just had his foot amputated. Next thing I heard , he had died. They say Type I is more serious (the kind diagnosed in childhood)but often our Type II's go on to have to use insulin shots also.
His dad did. But his dad died from pancreatic cancer; the pancreas is involved w/insulin production so I wonder if there's a connection? I hope your husband will eat low-fat; mine won't . Aster

------------------
Aster

To Aster and YadaYada -
I have a suggestion for both of you. It isn't perfect, but it may be a way to get your husbands to start taking better care of themselves.

First of all, the napping is probably largely caused by the exhaustion they feel because their blood glucose is out of control...so, you probably can't get them to stop napping and start exercising until they get their BG's down somewhat (then they'll start feeling more energy).

As for diet, there are lots of people who don't want to give up all their favorite foods, and they don't have to. No, you can't eat cheeseburgers and fries and shakes for every meal, but you could have it maybe one day a week if you eat well the rest of the week. Or, they could make a list of their favorite foods, and have ONE thing every day...since they're both type II diabetics, they may start losing some weight even with an imperfect diet...but the diet could still be a lot better than it is currently.

In other words, instead of presenting it as "you have to follow this diet", how about presenting it as "we have to find a way to get more fruits and vegetables and less fat in your diet. Let's make a list of your favorite foods, and then sit down and plan how we can fit something good in several times a week so you won't feel deprived, but let's also plan how we can get more fruits and veggies into your diet."

This has the advantage of making them feel like they have a lot of input and choice, and not like they're being told what to do. I don't know if it will work, but it might be worth a try.

I hope this idea is helpful. Unfortunately, there's no magic pill to make them want to follow their diets!

Ruth

Originally posted by Aster:
I have the exact situtation. My husband is obese at
275lb, 6'1" tall, ... he has No Interest in exercise or dieting. What's Really terrible is he does not eat fat free or lowfat foods;

Eating low fat and fat free foods will not likely have any effect on his bloodsugar or his weight problem. They will usually make things worse in fact if they are high in carbohydrate (most are other than vegetables). It is the carbohydrates in his diet that cause his bloodsugars to rise, not the fat. It's the sugars, bread, cakes, cookies, pasta, cereal, rice, corn, potatoes and such that likely got him in the condition he is in. Cutting back or eliminating these foods and eating more protein (meat, poultry, fish, eggs, etc.) and fat is what he needs to do if he wants to improve his condition. A low-carbohydrate high-protein diet such as that recommended by Dr. Atkins or Dr. Michael Eades in Protein Power is very palatable and satisfying and would likely help him lose the excess weight and get control of his bloodsugar levels without being hungry.

He sleeps; man, that guy can sleep. It is like he's having a love affair with food and sleep. He'll sleep all night then, just like his father, take a 45 min nap AFTER BREAKFAST.

What does he eat for breakfast? If it is something high in carbohydrate like cereal or pancakes or bread or such, then this is likely causing his bloodsugar to shoot up initially then his pancreas pumps out a load of insulin to get it down which can result in the bloodsugar level going too low an hour or so later and making him tired and sleepy. That is called reactive hypoglycemia and it is fairly common. The solution? Eat better by avoiding the sugars and highly processed carbohydrate foods that cause the bloodsugar levels to shoot up in the first place. Bacon and eggs would be a much better choice for breakfast than either cereal or pancakes or pastries.

If I made chocolate chip cookies every night he'd eat them - as many as I'd bake. His favorite food? Pizza buffets, chinese buffets, cheeseburger with milkshake and fries.

All loaded with carbohydrates that convert to sugar (glucose) in the bloodstream.

...Type II's go on to have to use insulin shots also.

Most don't have to if they can get control of their bloodsugar levels through proper low carbohydrate diet while their pancreas is still producing insulin. Most Type II diabetics in the early stages have far more insulin circulating in their bloodstream than the average person. Initially, Type II is not a problem of inadequate inslulin, but rather insulin resistance in the target tissues. His muscle cells are probably extremely insulin resistant which inhibits the insulin from getting the glucose into the muscles for fuel which further contributes to his feelings of being tired. Initially, his fat cells likely remained sensitive to the insulin, so the insulin shuttled the excess glucose into the fat cells (after conversion to triglycerides in the liver) and contributed to his obesity. Finally, the fat cells even start to become insulin resistant so the glucose has no where to go and the sugar levels rise in the bloodstream. He likely also has elevated triglyceride levels as a result of the insulin resistance which places him at much increased risk of coronary artery disease.

I hope your husband will eat low-fat; mine won't.

Like I said earlier, low-fat diets are not the answer for Type II diabetics. Unless foods are carefully selected to minimize carbohydrate content (green leafy vegetables are both low in fat and carbohydrate), low-fat diets will often make his condition worse, not better.

Alan

Here is a pretty decent discussion from Harvard and Walter Willett on the harm that low fat diets can cause: http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/healthnews/interview/index.html I do disagree with the discussion on natural saturated fats like those in butter and red meat being harmful though. I think Mr. Willett was trying maintain a somewhat “politically correct” nutrition slant in that article. In reality, there is quite a bit of disagreement in nutrition and scientific circles regarding saturated fat and its health effects. In fact, this link: http://www.survivediabetes.com/lowfat.html states in part "In Framingham, Massachusetts, the more saturated fat one ate, the more cholesterol one ate, the more calories one ate, the lower people's serum cholesterol...we found that the people who ate the most cholesterol, ate the most saturated fat, ate the most calories weighed the least and were the most physically active. (Dr. William Castelli, Director of the Framingham Study. Archives of Internal Medicine, 1992.)

This link http://www.survivediabetes.com titled “Diabetes without Complications” provides some useful information in the “contents” link for those diagnosed with diabetes.

Alan

In my opinion, low carbohydrate diets are completely unneccessary if one consumes natural whole grains that are not commercially processed. Check the internet by typing in search words like "diabetes whole grains". Yes, I agree that one should stay away from those refined products, with all the "grease and sugar".

I can write a lot more about natural foods, if someone is interested. They can be excellent for some people with diabetes and a whole lot of other chronic diseases and conditions.

I think also that low fat diets can be harmful. We need some fat in our diet. But on the otherhand, excessively high fat diets (in my opinion) are not good either. In other words, avoid the greasy french fries.

Here's one article about "Western" diet's impact on diabetes: I don't mean to disagree with Alan, but there's a lot of different opinions out there, on what is the preferred diet. I'm a proponent of natural foods, and do not consume a lot of meat. High meat eaters also have a higher incidence of cancer, based on studies that I've read.
http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/press/releases/press242002.html

Don't be so scared. I kow that people can die from diabetes, but it is very possible to live. Don't let him eat all fatty foods, but make him eat fruit and veggies and low-fat things. Also, don't make him eat LESS because diabetics need certain amounts of food, and certain blood sugars. If they don't have enough food in them, they are liable to pass out. Don't be scared to find info. Try this site. www.diabetes.org (http://www.diabetes.org) It is amazing and can tell you everything you need to know. Sleeping a lot is normal, so don't worry. There are different types of diabetes, type 1, 2, and 3. I'm not sure what type 1 or 3 is, but type 2 is insulin dependant. I think type 1 is controlled diabetes where you dont have to have insulin, but I'm not 100% sure. Insulin is a medicine, a vital fluid your pancreas creates, and when you have diabetes, you pancreas doesn't make that fluid anymore. It controls your body sugars and fats. I can answer any future questions you have, so feel free to contact me. We can talk anytime. I hope my info is useful!
~Emily
P.S. Not many diabetics have their legs amputated. If they do, it may be because of neuropothy, which is a disease in your legs and feet that makes them numb and sometimes tingly and sore and -OUCH!- painful.

[This message has been edited by Emily4 (edited 06-16-2002).]

Did you see my post on the "AGE" board re: knee replacement? Just wanted to make you aware that you got some replies to your questions.

i believe type 1 is insulin dependent and type 2 is the one that is not or well doesnt have to be in all cases, in my case i am typw 2 and have been on the diets and oral meds and stuff for 10 years and now i have been on insulin for 1 year and it is the only thing that has helped my BG levels along wiht the diet.

My dad is type II and he has always taken insulin. And I know for a fact that type II is insulin dependant. Just letting you know!

SapphireChild,
Not contradicting you, just letting YadaYada know what I am 100% sure is right! Okay? Don't be mad at me! LOL!
~Emily

Type II does NOT mean insulin dependant. I am in tight control with oral meds (not insulin) and diet, as is my mother, who was diagnosed over 10 years ago. With proper diet and exercisee many Type II diabetics can be in tight control without insulin indefinately. Not all, mind you, but many. Some can even get off oral meds all together (my goal!). Weight loss is crucial....the more weight I lose the more my glucose levels go down on their own.

Type II is usually NOT considered insulin dependent. However, there is a phenomonon that can happen with Type II's in that the longer they have it (even with well-controlled BG's), they can actually change over to Type I. This is because the islet cells in the pancreas, in trying to put out the extra insulin that Type II's need, can wear themselves out over time.

Also, some of that "change-over" depends upon how severe the Type II diabetes is...not every Type II produces the same amount of insulin even at early diagnosis. The less insulin produced, the more likely the change-over is to Type I, but this still usually doesn't occur for many years (like 10-15 or more).

But the descriptions are: Type I = insulin dependent, Type II not insulin dependent (although may be taking insulin.)

Ruth

Emily,
i am am not mad at you, i understand your father is type 2 and he has to take insulin . i am also type 2 and have to take insulin i actually need 2 types of insulin along with diet to control my BG levels. But not all type 2 diabetics are insulin dependant and it is not a definate thing with type 2 but it is definate with type 1. What i was saying is i was on all the oral meds and the diets and they weren't helping me only thing that helped was the insulin but in most cases type 2 diabetics can control it with oral meds and some just diet.Don't worry about making me mad it takes alot to do that i am a very easy going person and i take criticism(can't spell...lol) well.