My dad has type 2 diabetes and has had it for 11 years. I know all about it and know what to do and when not to do it. My dad does too (obviously). Lately he's been under a lot of stress at work. And I don't know what to do. I love him. And he is the most amazing person, but he doesn't spend much time with me anymore. He comes home late and leaves early for work. And I don't know how to help him. I want to spend a lot of time with him but I'm afraid to get in his way. I want to help him with his stress so he can become his normal, happy, self again. I love him so much and I'm afraid to lose him to his work and illness's. He also has heart disease and had double-bypass open-heart surgery, to make matters worse. And just recently, he had shoulder surgery for his frozen shoulder. I want to help him, but I don't know how! I just want my dad back. Please help me. I will take any info you have to give.
~Emily4

Hi Emily,
I'm not sure what you're asking here. Is your Dad's diabetes going out of control because of the stress at work? What kind of medication is he on? Is he fairly good about following his diet? Does he exercise? Do you want him to spend more time with you, but his job is interferring?

One thing you could do is ask him if he would like to take a walk with you (maybe on a weekend, when he has more time). Any exercise is better than none, and that would be a terrific way to be close to him and help him control his diabetes.

You asked a lot of questions on the board, and I know one of your big concerns is whether or not Type II is hereditary. Well, the answer is a qualified yes. The tendency towards developing Type II is definitely hereditary, but that doesn't mean you have to get it. Keeping your weight in a good range for your height, eating nutritionally well balanced and fairly low fat diets, not overdoing on the sweets, and getting plenty of exercise can help prevent the onset of Type II.

Also, there was a clinical trial a few years back called the Diabetes Control and Complications Trial. It was for Type I diabetics, but another trial (I forget the name) proved this was true for Type II's. What they found was that the tighter diabetes is controlled, the fewer the complications. This was true for every type of complication: diabetic retinopathy, kidney disease, heart disease, amputations, etc.

In modern times, we have blood glucose monitors to accurately gauge how well we're controlling our BG's, we have the A1C tests, we have a huge variety of oral medications and even a huge variety of insulins. We also have at least 3 insulin delivery systems, from syringes to jet injectors to pumps, and they're working on a nasal insulin spray. Diabetes no longer has to be a killer...but it's still a disease that takes a lot of management on the part of the patient.

Let me know more about what's going on with your Dad...and I know someone posted the American Diabetes Website, but here it is again: www.diabetes.org (http://www.diabetes.org)

Ruth

Ruth,
Thank you for answering. My dad's diabetes isn't out of control, but he isn't getting enough sleep and I'm afraid that may cause something bad to happen. I'm not sure what medication he's on but I know he takes insulin and a lot of pills. I see him take his pills all the time. He's great about his diet but he doesn't exercise a lot because he doesn't have time, even on weekends. He plays golf on Saturday mornings, so I guess that's something. But he comes back with a sore shoulder.(Surgery on it in May)Yes, his lob interferes with his social time. I want to spend time with him a lot but he's either tired, sore, or at work. Last night, Father's Day, after we went out to dinner, my family decided on playing games at home. But when we got there, my brother and sister went off to play with a friend. My other sister, my mom, and my dad played, but Susan (my sis) and my mom kept their noses in their books. My dad lay down on the couch and I had to take his turn for him. I was the only one interested in family time. It may sound like there is always someone to play with in a family of 6, but that's not the case with my family.
Anyway, I was wondering about hereditary diabetes, and I'm scared that I have it. I am very overweight and no matter what diets I try, nothing works. I even tried anorexia once, but my stomach went crazy and I had cramps 24/7. I do have some of the symptoms, but my dad tests me with his Blood Sugar Kit, but I'm somewhat normal. I'm higher than my brother and sister's, though. Could this mean I'm diabetic???
My dad does have heart disease. He did have all-out surgery for it. And he is definitly not healthy. He does try and laugh a lot, and he makes me laugh. He does spend time with me, but not as much as I would like. And he could die at any time. His mother, my grandma, died last summer of a heart attack that was caused by the clogging of her main artery. I do not have a history of good hearts. Or health. I'm 11, 4'10 and 123 lbs. That's not good. I'm in the 95 percentile for weight!
When I was 6 months old, I had spinal bacterial meningitis. I could have lost my hearing or eyesight. Or I could have had brain damage. But I came out fine, and I want my dad to come out fine too.I want to help my dad be all he can be. He is a large dreamer, and I don't think that his diabetes is part of the plan. But I don't know how I can help him. And I don't know if he can be helped at all! I just want my dad to be normal. If you could help more, thats great! But just to let you know, you have already been a great help! So thank you again!
~Emily

Hi Emily,
Well, a couple of things strike me. First of all, if your Dad's job is not normally this stressful, and it's just a temporary thing, then cutting him some slack on the family time, for right now at least, will be a way to decrease his stress levels. He probably wants to spend time with you, but between work, taking care of his diabetes, the shoulder situation, and still trying to get some exercise, he's probably exhausted! Hopefully things at his job will calm down sometime soon.

It also strikes me that you are doing a whole lot of worrying! Do you talk to your Mom and Dad about how worried you are, both about his health and about your health? If your blood glucoses keep coming back normal, it's highly unlikely you have diabetes. However, as you've pointed out yourself, being overweight does put you at higher risk...but you don't need to check it every week! Once every 3-4 months is probably sufficient.

As for diet, several people on the boards have given you excellent advice: the slower you lose it, the more likely it is to stay off! So, you want to make small changes, one at a time...start substituting health foods for junk foods (fruits...they may be high in sugar, but they're low in fat and calories, and a heck of a lot better for you than, say, chips). You may want to keep a food diary for a few weeks to see exactly what you're eating and when. Studies have shown that people who keep food diaries are very successful at losing weight and keeping it off. Also, there are several sites on the internet where you can get help re a good diet...one of them is the American Dietetic Association's site at www.eatright.org. (http://www.eatright.org.)

Back to the worry, if it continues and you don't get any relief from talking to your parents, I would consider asking them to get you some outside help, i.e. psychologist. You probably don't need any long-term analysis, just a few visits to find out how to handle worry better.

And I leave you with two of my favorite quotes. The first one is from a Zen T-shirt, and it says "Worry is NOT preparation." The other one is from John Lennon, and that is "Life is what happens while you're making other plans."

Good luck Emily. You sound like such an intelligent and caring young woman; I truly hope you can resolve this stress in your life.

Ruth

Ruth,
Thank you. I will use your advice and try and worry less. My dad's job has always been stressful but now it's even more stressful. I hope that will pass. I don't talk to my parents because they're the type who will listen to your first sentence and then, well, tell you everything is okay when it's not. And I can't tell my dad because he'll think I'm silly and my mom will just state what I did wrong and then ground me. I have to go. I'll tell you more later!
~Emily

Emily,
Perhaps you could write a letter to your parents. Let them know how worried you are, and about what, and ask them to read it when they have time. Tell them you don't expect things to be perfect, but you could sure use some help right now. I know people don't always treat kid's concerns seriously, but you certainly have a right to expect them to!

I think if you approach this in a non-threatening, non-complaining way, it may work.

Ruth

Ruth,
I'll try it. I don't think my mom will be any less mean to me, but I'll try it anyway. If you have any other ideas, you know where to reach me!
~Emily