Where do i start.....

My friend who is 21, and before you say it.... it really is my friend, not my 'friend' and really me with the problem! trust me ive had my fair share of problems.....

Im starting to get really worried about his eating patterns.

When he was drunk he told me he used to make himself sick or starve himself to loose weight. he used to be really big and now he is very slim.

Recently me and some of my friends were at a party and he was saying its ok to make yourself sick cos we had just eaten cake. we all told him thats not the way to loose weight and thats is dangerous for you but he kept saying its ok to do it every now and then if you feel too full. He was talking about it very openly so we dont know if he was just saying it for attention or not?

So anyway, last night in the pub, he said he hadnt eaten for 3 days cos he just 'didnt feel hungry' - if you ask me, people dont just not feel hungry, esp for 3 days running. he said he needs to starve himself cos he is getting fat.

Ive tried talking to him, some of our other firends dont seem to think there is a problem but im worried about him. He just laughs it off and thinks its all fine and i cant get him to think logically!

in my eyes, making your self sick or starving yourself will result in a eating disorder. I just dont know how to approach him. noone else seems bothered and says it jsut a faze or a cry for attention of that is nothing.

Please help me help my friend!!!!

Vicky...xx

Thank you so much for your reply!

Ive known him for 19 years, we went to pre school together all the way up to college and he is my boyfriends brother so we are very close.

In relation to his physical appearance... He has sufferend from very bad acne for a long as i can remember and he is convinced that junk food and chocolate makes it worse, which alot of people know is not true and he has a fair amount of loose skin which was from his previous weight loss.

He is about 5'5 and weighs - at a guess - about 9 and a half stone? i am 5'2 and weigh 8 stone!

He always complains about being tired and i know alot of that is a result of his job, he is a steward for a well known airline.

But its so hard for me to approach him and for him to take it seriously!

He does always try to be 'the best' and look better than everone else, its like life is a competition for him, even among his closet friends! and sometime he makes little jibs that his new jeans are better than my new jeans and silly things like that.

I do know that his sexuality is a big thing for him, he is openly gay around his friends but has not said anything to his family, he has had a few relationships but nothing special and i know that his dad is very anti gay and makes comments about gay people. He is very close to his mum but cant tell her about this because of his step dad (same situation as his real dad)

I managed to convince him to join the gym encouraging him that if he wants to loose weight, this is a good way to go and also to deveolp muscle and stay fit and healthy rather than starving himself and he has been sticking to it which is great!

I would never say that he, or any of our friends are huge drinkers. We occasioanly do go out and have a drink for people birthdays but he seems to get drunk fairly quickly and also, when he as away working and is in another country with the rest of his airline crew, he often says that he had way too much to drink and got sick and was all over the place.

At the end of the day im very concerned about him and i think it is up to me to help him make the first step as none of our friends seem to care!

But the thing that really confuses' me is that when people say he looks good cos he has lost loads of weight, he boasts and tells them that all he did was not eat and starve himself! he almost seems proud to be doing what he is doing!

I discussed this with another one of his and my close friends and he seemed to shrug it off and say that most people with eating disorders tend to keep them very private and dont go around boasting about it! fair enough, this made me think, i used to self harm and i would never ever EVER boast about it and i would lie terribly if people asked me about my cuts.

Could it all be some sort of cry for attention???