Hey ya'll!!

I just wanted to check in with you guys since it's been awhile again since I've been on here. I didn't see any recent posts going on between any of you, so I just wondered how you were all doing. My Internet connection has been screwed up since April 30 so I haven't been able to get on here.

What's going on with you guys? Is recovery going well for you right now? I hope so. I've really been struggling since leaving the outpatient clinic. Ed is really trying to sink his teeth back in and doing a pretty good job of it too. I haven't been following my meal plan at all, and have lost some weight. I went to my therapist last Thurs, and she told me if I lost any more weight that she doesn't want to see me again, she just wants me to check back into the clinic. Then I went to my nutritionist on Friday and she wants me to come back to her every week until my weight increases. I'm really trying not to completely relapse here, but I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water right now. Someone made the comment today that "You look a lot better". I hate that. I know it was meant as a compliment, but those kind of comments really get to me and make Ed come roaring back with all his might. Anyway, I hope things are going better for you guys than they are for me.

Please let me know how you are all doing. I've missed talking with ya'll. I should be able to get back here pretty regularly now that things are somewhat back to "normal" in my life (ha, what a joke that is!!!)

Hi sweetie, i'm glad you're back! We've missed you and i've been sort of constantly curious as to how things are going, so it's really good to hear from you. Not great news, though. :( I'm glad your therapist is really on top of it though. I totally agree that if you lose anymore weight, DEFINITELY check back in. It's worth it. What are your struggles with exactly? Maybe if you explain it a little more, we'll be able to offer some more help with how to overcome the obstacles, you know? All i can say is try to remember what worked for you while you were in the program and try to recreate that in your every day life. what tactics helped you stick to the meal plan then? maybe you can recreate that situation at home, you know?

other than that, how've you been feeling lately? i KNOW that those "you look great" comments are really tough to deal with. just find your inner strength and beat down Ed's voice screaming, "You look fat!" if it's someone you're close enough to, explain that you don't want them to comment on your physical appearance. i'm sure they'll totally get it. otherwise, what about asking them to clarify? (like if you just say, "i do???") i think you'll find that they'll most likely say something like "your face has so much more color and LIFE in it," rather than saying, "your butt is just so ROUND!" anyway, that's a tough one, but you just gotta fight through it, you know?

i've been good lately. FINALLY having some slow weight gain success, which is a mixed blessing, you know? i'm relieved cuz it means i'll get to WALK again soon and eat more normally (and hopefully FINALLY get to stop counting calories), but Ed also likes to remind me that i'm getting fat, so we go back and forth mentally, i suppose! i've been fighting some feelings of just plain loneliness lately too, which has been the bigger struggle. basically, i've realized that i have not made hardly ANY friends since moving to chicago (august 2004). i still talk to my college friends all the time, but they're in wisconsin, so it isn't the same. i need girls to go out with, rent movies with, go out to eat with, etc, you know? anyway, so i've just been feeling kind of down about that lately. i'm determined to start finding/making some friends, but it's hard, you know? where in the heck do you find them?!?!? i'm gonna try volunteering through my church and try to find out about any groups within the church (it's a hip, young catholic church -- not like most of them! -- so i hope the people'll be relatively cool and normal.) any other ideas??? i just get kind of stuck thinking about how/where you meet people. so anyway, that's me lately. also, bought a guitar and am gonna try to teach myself! pretty fun, hey? but it's really hard right now and hurts my fingertips. :(

keep me updated on what's going on with you. i really hope we can help and get you "back on track," you know? just be strong and have faith in yourself. you CAN do this, sweetie!