I posted earlier about my mum just being diagnosed with lung cancer (stage 3 and she opted out of any treatment).

She has just cancelled her visit to the speech therapist who was to work with her about her choking when she eats as they think it could be due to incorrect swallowing.

I just spoke with her, after sending her a package of information and letters to her doctors asking for them to share their information with me. My mum is adamant that she does not wish to know ANYTHING about her condition and that by trying to talk with her about it, I'm bringing her down.

My brother and sister have now both backed off pressing her in any way.

I have tried to explain to her that there are practicalities we shall have to face and that this is not a 'quiet into the night' disease and her symptoms will worsen and others will develop that are debilitating. All her children live long distances away, in other countries, so to support her will take a lot of planning. I've tried to reason with her that it's only fair to the friends around her who are supportive, and on whom she relies a great deal, to know what they will be facing too.

She doesn't want to even think about any of this and wants to just live today and live tomorrow. My dad died last year from oral cancer and she was his caregiver so I understand that she knows firsthard the pain, the suffering that this disease bring with it.

I have told her that I am not going to back down and while I support her decisions for not pursuing invasive treatment, we all should know what we're dealing with. The doctors take her position, that if a patient doesn't want to know, they won't say anything.

Am I wrong to fight to know and to be able to plan and offer the kind of support she will need, and not bury my head in the sand with everyone else?

It's all so frustrating.

Am I wrong to fight to know and to be able to plan and offer the kind of support she will need, and not bury my head in the sand with everyone else?

It's all so frustrating.>>>>>>

Fiona
You are right and wrong.My husband has been going through treatment for Lung cancer. He was one of the lucky ones who was able to have surgery even though his tumor was the size of a base ball. I saw him also go through Chemo and saw the other chemo being given to other people.I like your mom have seen to much and have also been through a lot. I am also sure your mom did all the resurch on your dads cancer and we know way to much. I have decided if I ever should get cancer I do not want to know. I would also want to enjoy life to the fullest without the fear of the big C. This is just my opinion but I would hope it would be they way I want it.On the other hand i am so glad that my husband sought treatment without question because he would not be around right now if he had waited and he now looks ahead to a long full life. BTW he still does not know what I know about the odds of this horrid cancer.
Lorrie