Hi everyone. :wave:
I am wondering if you knew for sure when you were finished having children. I would like another baby but DH is still hesitant as is his family. I figure they can have a say as soon as they babysit.DH says we don't have room. We have a three bedroom house and two children I shared a room with my sister for years and was thanmkful when I got my own so I suppose I see that. DD is only 11 months and maybe my horemones are going wacky because she is quickly becoming not a baby anymore. There are some days that I am thankful for only 2 but I just have a weird yearning to have another baby.Anyone else?

Bless you - I wish I were more like you. My hubby wants another one (my girl is only 14 weeks) and we are discussing it still - I am happy with one! so we shall see ... how old is your oldest?

I felt the same way. We had two beautiful children but I felt like there was someone missing from our family. I wasn't getting any younger so we decided to go for it. We now have an 11 week old and she is such a joy and can't imagine life without her. I can now say our family is complete :) . We have a small three bedroom house but it's not bad. Things may change in the future and allow us to get a bigger house. The way I look at it is you may regret it if you don't have another but you will never regret it if you do! Good luck with your decision!

My oldest is 2 1/2 years. I like them closer together. DD and DS are only 19 months apart.

You shouldn't have another one just b/c you miss the baby stage, b/c you will end up w/ more than just 3, lol. Your DH has good points, I know a woman in the area that has 10kids, I feel for them, b/c they don't have money to travel, buy nice things etc.

I only have one brother, and we are not very close, I often wish I had another sibling b/c then maybe I'd be closer w/ him/her. So there are definite advantages to having more kids. I agree w/ previous poster, you will not regret it once the baby is here, but don't do it just b/c you miss the baby stage of your DD. That's natural.

We aew finished with one...hubby's getting fixed. We knew we only wanted one.

I have been struggling with the same feelings for a few months. My kids are 22mnths apart and my oldest just turned 3. So I totally understand. My body is telling me to have more, but my brain knows how much I can handle in terms of stress and lack of sleep and it is telling me no way! So I am 98% sure we are done. We have discussed it. And to help me stick to the plan I have recently given EVERY piece of baby stuff away. No more swings, car seats, clothes, toys, exersaucers, etc. That way I know we'd have to shell out a ton of cash to start over and we don't have the money for that. We are waiting to do the big snip for a few years, just in case. But if we do have another one there will be a big gap. Another factor is that both of my babies were over 11lbs. I physically don't know if I want to put my body through that again. It was really hard both times, I was exhausted, and I don't want to negelct my little ones because I don't feel good. I know we have more than enough love to give to another child, but right now I'm happy giving tons of attention to my 2. But I also know I'm holding onto my "baby" as she will be my last. I was suppiosed to have her weaned off the bottle by now, I know she can use a cup, but I still give her that one bottle before bedtime becasue I don't want to give up rocking my baby with her bottle. It's like the last little baby thing I have left :( At the same time I'm going gaga over other people having babies so that I can get my "fix" of the newborns. Good luck and let us know what happens.

I get a tinge of jelousness when I find out my friends are pregnant again. I really don't want what keidy said a never ending baby factory. I could be like that lady on the discovery channel 15 and pregnant again.OMG no thanks. I feel like I could be satisfied with my two if I knew this yearning for another child was never going to go away. I was hoping everyone would be clear and defined that after that had their 1st, 2nd or whatever child that they felt completely satisfied and had no yearning to do it again.I work retail and see babies all day and everytime I see a newborn I feel that yearning again.

DS is 6 months and I already want another little boy so DS can be a big brother (although I would be just as happy with a DD). DH isn't too thrilled, he didn't want children when we got married but I told him I wouldn't marry him without at least the promise of one. Of course now 5 years later, a contented DH looks over at me nursing our DS and says "This is the best thing we have ever done." (I am so glad I married this man!) I figure sometime when DS is around 2 I will start pushing the subject again. We have enough room (3 bedroom house) and I know if we wait "till we can afford another baby" it will never happen. I would never go behind his back and purposely stop birth control to "accidentally" get pregnant but I do hope in the future he changes his mind. Will I be satisfied with 2 children? I don't know, but as of right now I am sure I want more than just one.

Im 22, hubby is 20, our son is 7 months, We plan on having one more baby, Trying for a girl is the main reason, but another boy is no problem, After 2, IM done. We are very stable for being so young, we have our own home and everything we could possibly need and can provide for our child :wave:

Your husband and yourself really need to agree on this subject foremost. He may be hesitant because of money, space in the house, and more attention of his needs to be divided among yet another person, just like yours will be. These are all things that may make someone hesitant to habe another child. Personally, one is it for me, because I want to continue to explore the world with my husband, and go out to eat and enjoy the meal, and be very active outdoors like we are. Having our daughter we will be able to take her along easily whereas adding more children will become like a big evolution to go somewhere, etc. etc. My point is, it depends on what you are looking for in life. Having several children is awesome, sometimes I wish I could, but I know it is not for me. Also, are you a stay at home Mom? Or do you have to pay for daycare? My cousin is debating the same thing right now. She is a stay at home mom to a 3 and 6 year old and they live in a tiny townhouse. Now she is yearning to have another baby!!!! Best of luck in your decision! :)

Orange... I am sooooo where you are at. My husband and I lived in the city (ny) and did all that fun stuff etc. we have been together for 10 years and then (we found I was prego)!! we were thrilled and always said we never NEEDED to have kids - and if we did we would have just one - so we could enjoy that one and still have our lives... My brother has 4! and I see how much he LOVES it - and I wish I was like that - I love my little girl sooooooo much - but I KNOW having one more would COMPLETELY change us EVEN more.... I love what she has brought to my life and what she will continue to bring - and also for me to give to her!

I just want to be able to AFFORD the best of what she needs - and this doesn't mean spoiling - especially when she is older - but the traveling and such I so hear ya on that. Sometimes i wonder "what is wrong with me" because I don't want a baseball team - just a golfer or tennis player - LOL!! if you know what I mean...

I am very happy with one - and my hubby is all of a sudden wanting just ONE more... well we will see.... we are giving it till September to decide when our girl is 7 months... I think we will (HE WILL) know for sure by then.

XXOO Friday
good luck with your decision too - (to the original poster)

Friday,
I am totally on the same page as you. When I was 7 months pregnant my husband retired from the military as an officer and we moved to Iowa. Now we want to move back to San Diego and live downtown again.......we can do that with only ONE KID. :)

I also think I am this way maybe because I gained a younger sister when I was 8 yeard old... and I was pushed to babysit by 9 and the entire first year of her life all I remember is how hard it was on my parents.... so I grew up always saying I was never going to get married or have kids - I was going to travel the world and enjoy my life - LOL!! (careful what older siblings see,,,, i guess) LOL - well finally after 10 years of being married to a great guy (we accidentally) got prego and its great! but..... not sure if I want another because your flexibility is not as great. hee hee

I would never commit to having only one child. Are any of you out there who want only one only children? My mother is an only child, and going through life without siblings was extremely hard on her, even before her parents got old and she had to make their care decisions by herself. That might be why she had six children. Most of us shared rooms, at least part of the time, and I can't say there were never times I hated my siblings, and yes, we couldn't afford to go on big family trips to Disneyland, but I do know my life would have been very different, and I feel confident saying much worse, if I hadn't had each one of my five siblings. (Well, maybe that one brother....) I'm not saying you need to have six kids. I am saying that by having only one you are depriving your child of what can easily be one of the most meaningful relationships of his/her life.

I have such a wonderful relationship with my sister and would like that for my children. I also no longer have my parents and feel my family is so small and seems to be shrinking faster than growing. My sister doesn't want children and my husbands brother doesn't either. They will have no cousins their age and would like them to have each other.

We are now done after having two. I have a 2wk old and a 5yr old (will be 6 in July). W struggled with the decision to have another one (i.e., finances, flexibility, etc., etc..) and like a pp said I figured we'd not regret having another, but could down the road regret NOT having another. So we started trying and were so surprised that it took us close to 2 yrs (after finally getting endometriosis diagnosed and surgery for it). I was a bit bummed out that the age difference was bigger than I'd prefer, but I think it'll all work out and my ds LOVES being a big brother. I was older when my mother had more children and remember being forced to help out/babysit/keep an eye on, etc. so I'm very careful not to even ask for his help (but he's quick to offer it - especially burping her!). I have five sisters and am extremely close to all of them and I felt that I would be depriving my little guy of a lifelong friend. My older sister is my best friend in the world.

I wouldn't worry too much about a child being an only child. Everyone is different, but I am an only child and I have a lot of friends who were only children and we all agree that being an olny child was awesome for the most part! Yes, we all got lonely sometimes, and we never had anyone to blame things on. But being an only means that you get all the attention, toys, your own room, etc. And only children don't know any different what it's like to have or not have a sibling. It's now strange for me having two kids and seeing how they interact, love and fight...it's all new to me!

I've been having that feeling that I would like another one too. We were looking at clothes yesterday and I was caught up in the girls clothes. lol We originally decided on just one. Nature has made up the decision for me fortunately/unfortunatly whichever way you look at it. My OB told Dh after my C-section that because of a prior surgery and because of the way the scar tissue is after Ds that if I did get pregnant again, it would be a very high risk pregnancy. I would have to see specialists all the time that are about an hour away from here and I'd probably be on bed rest for most of the pregnancy. I don't want to take the risk so DS is going to be the only one. I have seriously considered doing something with foster children though. We'll see. Hubby isn't convinced on that one yet!

Ok so I am going in for the cultures tomorrow for a IUD and I feel horrible :(. DH says he doesn't want another (which he said about the 1st 2) and I just feel so sad about it. I also hate the fact that I have to take the B/C when he's the one who doesn't want another.:rolleyes:

Well, try and look on the bright side...it's not like you're getting your tubes tied or he's getting the snip (which I know can be reversed, but anyway) At anytime you can have that IUD removed if he does change his mind. Let your emotions calm down for a while and enjoy the two that you have. Continue to be open with him about your feelings, but try not to pressure him for a while. See how you are feeling in a year or two and if you still feel as strongly, perhaps you can start to push strongly for it again. But you may find that after a few years that you enjoy having two somewhat independant children and may not want to go back to sleepless nights, diaper changes, lugging car seats, strollers, diaper bags, etc.

But I really know how you feel. I think you and I have kids basically the same ages. To me it feels very strange to be done with all of my getting pregnant, carrying to term twice and giving birth twice all within 2 1/2 years for two kids. And now it's over already. It seems like a blur in retrospect. Hang in there...it's just fine to be sad, we are nurturers and caregivers at heart and iit is natural for us to feel upset about the end of our "baby days" Justmake sure you don't hold in feelings of being mad at your DH because he "stopped you from having another baby" Keep talking. And who knows...the Universe works in strange ways...you may get a "surprise" anyway with an IUD, you wouldn't be the first :)

Take care

Thanks Kiera. I think you hit the nail right on the head. I think I am getting going to get the mirena(with hormones) because I am afraid of the possible IUD oops. I myself am one and my mother lost another baby before me the same situation.
I totally respect my husbands desision not to have anymore children but would really hope he may change his mind before the kids get too much older. I would like them to be closer in age but if not I will have to be content with feeling kinda sad.

Man's point of view-

My wife keeps talking about our "next" child like this is a given. I told her last week, if this happens I am volunteering for Iraq - It would be easier to just be shot at!

Man's point of view-

My wife keeps talking about our "next" child like this is a given. I told her last week, if this happens I am volunteering for Iraq - It would be easier to just be shot at!
I told this to my husband and he said he agrees :rolleyes: You guys.