ok i have a real problem, ive been to the doctors and im going to see a specialist real soon but i feel like ive completly lost control and its ruining my life.

i havent been diagnosed with it or anything, and i dont want to jump to conclusions i always left diagnosing to the professionals, but i think i might have some sort of disorder but im not sure what.

at around 4 oclock in the afternoon, after eating the minimum i can sometimes only a small biscuit or something i do get hungry, and i dont know how to describe it but its like an avalanche, i eat the smallest thing, it could be a cracker, a fruit drink or absolutly anything no matter how small sets me off on this uncontrollable binge eating thing, I would safely bet i would easily eat a whole days worth of calories within the space of 20 - 30 minutes, even though my stomach is screaming at me to stop i cant, i keep going untill i can feel my stomach literally swollen up and like it is about to explode.

After this, i spend aslong as I can forcing myself to be sick, untill i get it all back out again and after i feel completly drained of energy, i never have any energy and im finding it much harder to get up in the mornings, my throat is sore from me forcing this on myself. The times when i know i havent been sick enough i am reduced to crying in the corner of my room feeling so depressed and helpless.

I recently got my weight down to 8 stone exactly or 112 pounds, I am trying so hard to keep my weight there but i can feel it slipping away and the thought of that is making me feel so depressed and worthless and a complete failure. I waste so much food i feel so guilty, im now stocking up on food that i bought myself so i wont be wasting my parents money.

I dont know what to do now.

I'm lookin for anything here.. anything :)

You are not alone - very far from it... It sounds like the reason you binge is that you don't eat all day. Restricting that severely WILL eventually lead to losing control with food - and once it has become a habit it's hard to break. I think you need help to figure out why it is so important to be a particular weight, and to relearn more appropriate eating habits. Going to a doctor is the right first step, but I think you may need to find a therapist - soon. Don't let it go - time makes it even harder to correct the problem. Be strong, and good luck.

I know exactly how you feel. Once you eat the TINIEST thing, you binge like a madwoman. I do the same thing, only probably WAY worse than you do. It's because we're starving, our bodies need food, but thats the last thing we want right now. The last thing we want, but the first thing we need. And while i dont throw up after i binge (i cant, no matter how much i want to -NOT good-) this is not good. Girl, you have bulimia and need to get help before this escalades into something you really CANT control. There are still ways to maintain...even lose weight on a perfectly healthy diet! But, unfourtunately for you, your metabolism is shot after all the purging you've done, so instead of burning around 1200 calories a day just by being alive, you're probably now down to like 900 or something (not sure) and thats not good. If you reintroduse some light foods into your diet slowly (like fat free cottage cheese) then your metabolism will eventually rise and you'll be able to eat a piece of pizza without gaining a pound!
But, to avoid the binges, try to busy yourself so you arent thinking of food (although in your current state, it sounds like food is something you NEED)
I hope things get better. Learn to love yourself, not the 'you' ED has created.

I love how i can give out suggestions, yet cant seem to live by them myself.

and Im a guy :o also why is eating disorders only associated with girls and women? this only makes me feel worse because im a guy and i shouldnt really care about this type of thing should I but it does affect me it is ruining my life and i dont even know why.

aw, anyname, it SUCKS how ed's are commonly associated with women only. cuz it simply isn't true! MANY men suffer from ed's and i feel like the perception that it's a "woman's problem" just makes it harder for guys to seek treatment and recover cuz of the stigma attached to ed's. that being said, i give you HUGE props for going to the doctor. seriously, i've got a lot of respect for you on that cuz it was EXACTLY the right step to take. you DO have an eating disorder (bulimia) and you are NOT alone in suffering from it even though you're a guy. you said the doctor was going to send you to a specialist -- does that mean an eating disorder-specializing THERAPIST? cuz that is what you need. probably a nutritionist too, but the therapist can usually recommend one. i'm glad you've recognized the scale of this problem and how much it's ruining your life, your happiness, your freedom. you don't deserve to live with this ed (no one does) and i urge you to get therapy as quickly as possible so you can begin fighting back and free yourself from this "prison" of weight, food, binging, purging, starving, body obsession, etc. please keep posting here too, cuz i really think we can all support and help each other and push each other along in recovery. there ARE a lot of girls on this board (some guys come on too!), but we all struggle with the same root issues and i know you will be able to relate to what everyone says. good luck with the therapist and just be strong. he/she will help pull you up and you WILL get better.

Oops. I apologize for assuming you were a woman *bad kendra*, but as Joni said, ANYONE can suffer from an eating disorder. I've got an uncle who suffers from anorexia, so you are far from alone.
Sorry again, I feel dumb now, lol.

lol its ok :) thanks for all your words, really helps alot. its also an expensive thing for me..im buying all these "weight watchers" foods and these special rice cake things and theyre not cheap either :( i feel like i have to buy my own food shopping and it really sucks :(

ok this is too hard, theres no way i can stop all this eating that i dont even need to do, my weight is always going up and i cant stop it so im going to go away for a bit, leave everything behind, go some where quiet where theres no food and where i can be by myself, stress of college and family and everything i just want to be by myself so i wont be posting for a bit i dont think.

Aw
hun ...
Listen ... I know what your going through
I did it too
& I know how hard it is
I remember I would eat a small bag of welches fruit snacks
A total of 130 calories per package
And it would set me off and I would binge on everything in sight
Until I felt sick and crampy ...
I think I took in 5,000 calories (at least) on my binges
& let me tell you ... that leads to weight gain!
Especially if you make it a habit
So this is what you do
EAT!
It works!
If your calorie intake is under 1500 ... your never gonna be able to stop binging .. here's a sample diet that if you were to follow this .. you would stay at a good weight and not binge ever!!

meal one: Bowl of cereal of your choice topped with berries or nuts or dried fruit and skim milk .. Dont even measure it! You dont need to think bout that right now, u need food and thats the bottom line!

meal two: lean chicken on a whole wheat bun( a large bun ) something that will fill you with some lettuce and whatever dressing you like(healthful of course) :)

meal three: rice with handful of nuts and meat of your choice

meal four: whole wheat pasta .. dont measure it .. eat slowly until you are comfortable

meal five: (dessert) Have 2 scoops of icecream topped with berries (approx 300 calories here) maybe go for something healthy or instead of icecream, have some pie, or a chocolate bar or anything to curb ur cravings

meal 6: people are always saying no carbs at night. whatever. it doesnt make you fat. its all bout calories in vs calories out. Besides, I cant sleep unless I have carbs at night, but make them complex... have a whole wheat peanut butter sandwich .. a healthy fat will slow the digestion!

You can alter this however you want ... its your life and u can make changes but u got to eat or if u wish to continue to undereat .. the binges will continue ..

Hi thanks, thats so helpful im gonna just try that now..ive put on around a stone in two weeks and theres no sign of it slowing down but ill try that thank you :)