Hi guys,

I really need some input. This isn't my daughter but my daughter's best friend. And i am really concerned. She has been escalating her aggressive behavior. She is just horrible to her mother. It used to be where she would just call her mom names. She is very angry. If she has any type of issue at school or with friends, she takes it out on her parents. She won't do this to my daughter thank goodness. But little things set her off. Her mom told me that she has said she just gets "so frustrated".

But it is getting bad now. It had escalated where she would put a hole in the wall with a chair when she was mad. She would tear apart her room. Now she is hitting her mother. Her mom is trying everything. She has tried ignoring it...punishing her..slapping her back. Anything she does just drives this child more crazy.

Her mom tends to make excuses for her . But yesterday she finally made a call to try and get help. She tries to go into her own room just to get away before something really bad happens...but the child follows her..she even has a key hidden. Her mom tried to push by her to get away and the child says "is that all you got?" "You deserve to be hit". And she has this dead look in her eyes during this. I have seen that look before.

From what i have observed..the child would never act this way to me..but i have seen things . I have seen her provoke other kids just to get a rise out of them. I have a 4 year old who she will provoke now. My daughter stepped on my 4 year old's doll's head by accident getting into a car. The child in question here...says to my 4 y ear old..."Did you know that Sammy stepped on your doll's head?" So of course my 4 year old got upset with her sister. The child in question just kind of smirked. I saw this. It was as if she was happy to have caused that.

I am very concerned ...I was just wondering what you all thought. Could it be a mental disorder? I have tried researching it..but haven't found anything that fit her yet. I just need to pay attention...i am afraid it will escalate toward my daughter..

I originally posted this in childrens ...but now think this is a better place to put it...I really need some input..what do you guys think is a possibility here? I just don't think this is normal 9 year old hormones...sorry so long

i babysat for a girl simular to this(only she was nice to her parents and rude to others). i think the problem may be the same you said "her mother tends to make excuses for her". the girl i babysat for, her mother was the same. so this girl learned she could hit people and it ws ok because "shes still a little girl and dosent relize her strength" (ok that gets old...she 12 now...she should learn)
Anyways my point it if your daughters friend "learned" she could get away with such things, its hard to stop it and "relearn" (i think the classic snowball effect applys here) i dont mean to be critisizing her mother after all i relize its all to easy to just love her and excuse it as one bad day...and another...and so on till it got to this point.
it may sound kind of bizzar but maybe watch a few of those nanny shows for sugestions.
but before that i think it should be professionally cleared up as to weather or not its a mental disorder

...could be a mental disorder, or just a child who thinks she can get away with anything. Do you know if the child takes anything like ADD drugs, OTC drugs, etc? Did she ever witness anyone abusing the mom, such as an ex-boyfriend, father, etc? She must have got her ideas from somewhere...