Hey,
Im new to this thing, i saw this thing on one of the emails and i thought maybe someone here could help me
Im doing really bad with my eating disorder at the moment and i know that im destroying myself. I've been to hospital before and it was awful even tho it really helped me. When i was discharged i really felt strong but then went down hill agen.What should i do? im bleeding when i get sick and am soo tired. I just feel so unhappy and im worried because im hurting my family
luv me- lexi

o hun, what i just read broke my heart. are you in therapy? if not, talk to someone and get help b/c your worth more than what your going through. You deserve to be free from this "trap." !! please talk to someone

when you were discharged, what was the follow-up plan? did the hospital arrange for you to start seeing a therapist who specializes in bulimia? i would certainly hope so. eating disorders unfortunately dont just go away after a stay in hospital.

i'm glad you're seeking support here, but there is no substitute for counseling face to face with a therapist. i hope you feel strongly enough about saving your life to get on the phone and start making some phone calls to find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.

you could call the hospital you went to, ask the people who treated you there who they would recommend. you could look in the phone book and start calling licensed social workers. you could call your insurance company and have them give you names of therapists in your area. you could call your primary care physician to see if they recommend anyone.

you've got lots of options. dont box yourself in with your destructive habits. LOTS of people, including myself, have an eating disorder. you have to get some help from others.

be careful-

thankyou for your reply. I am seeing a counsellor, doctor, psychologist and so on but deep inside i dont kno if i even want to get better. because that in my mind tells me that il put on weight which i dont want. my parents are worried about me because they can see me fading away but too me its a good thing, if that makes sense. anyway im just taking day by day and praying that one day il wake up and everything will be OKAY

have you told your counselors that you're not sure you want to get better?

i hope you figure out that you want to find a way to get better, to get over the brainwashing effects of your eating disorder. because if you cant, nobody else can make you.

if you fear the idea of 'getting better' too much, you're going to be stuck in nasty cycle for a long time, and your body is going to pay for it.

i'm sure you know all this already. eating disorders really mess our heads up. it makes us see the healthy way as if it were our enemy. in reality, once you start living healthfully, you're going to feel and look a whole lot better. think of all the things you could be doing and thinking about if you weren't so distracted with controlling your food, feeling sick and tired all the time, bleeding (from repeated vomiting, i assume?). its such a waste!!!

please work on this, and be honest with your counselors. if you think they're not listening, find someone else who will be more helpful to you.

take care!

Thanks for al the advice. No my school counsellor dus not really know that i dont really want to get better but she sorta kno's that part of me dus. Im getting really frustrated atm because i cant weigh myself until next time i see my doctor.. im dying to kno if i have put on weight or lost weight. It really dus drive me crazing. what should i do because what happens when i go to the doctors and ive put on weight.. i wil be soo unhappy. I think im going crazy because i dont even kno what i want to happen
luv me