I'm new to this so am hoping to get some feedback. My husband and I have a grandson who we feel may have some form of autism. When he was about 4 or 5 months we thought maybe he was deaf because he didn't respond to his name and rarely smiled at anyone. The parents had his hearing tested and it seemed to be good. He didn't like his diapers changed, especially by anyone but mom. He does have language but a lot of it seems to be repeating what someone says to him. He can tell you what he wants at times but there is usually a tantrum if you don't get it when he wants it. He has tantrums and wants to throw things or hit and pinch. Usually if you ask him if he wants something he will yell no as though he is angry you asked. When we walk into there home to visit, there isn't a very big response from him. Rarely will he come running up to us. If anything we feel we've come to disturb his little world. They recently had a small group of friends and family to their home and he ended up in the playroom, where he feels very safe, and played by himself for 2 hours. It seems most children that have other kids around want to interact with them. He does not. As soon as he walked into the backyard and saw the people, he turned and went back into the playroom
If we ask his a question he will look at us as though he hears us but doesn't know how he is suppose to respond. He may run around and look cute or just ignore.

I know this is kinda wordy but we are really concerned but don't feel it's our place to say anything to his mom and dad. We mentioned the deaf thing in the beginning and mom later told us that the pediatrician said he was fine and wasn't autisic, in a joking manner, of course.

What to do?

If you have any concerns that he might be get them to have him tested now. My son started recieving services at 2 years old and I cannot tell you how much early intervention helped him! When my son was a baby he was very quiet and unresponsive at 1 we also had his hearing tested because we could stand behind him and yell and he would not turn around. His hearing was OK. At two my child would run from other children , he did not want them to touch him, he played by himself. Have him evaluated by a speech therapist just to get the ball rolling because it does sound like he might need speech help. doe he have any other sensory issues , like touching things that are messy, or noise, or with food?

I agree. Get help for him now. It sounds as if he has a lot of the issues associated with autism. Good luck to you and your grandson.

Maybe if you pull some info off the internet about autism & it's symptoms they may be more willing to accept that something is not right, and have him tested. As you know it is very scary to think something is wrong with your child, and they may just be in a kind of denial hoping he will grow out of these behaviors. I was like this. My son has a mild form of autism, and I knew he was different, and I had family and even his preschool teacher mention autism but I thought they were crazy. He wasn't "that" bad. Well, after son research on autism I realized they were right, and had him tested. I only wished I would have listened before he was almost 5. I wish you & your family the best.
Tina...Mom to Justin 5 (Aspergers), Kelsey 3 (NT), & Megan 1 (Developmental Delay)

getting your grandson evaluated by other professionals other than the pediatrician is a GREAT idea. our son was diagnosed late because his doctor kept stalling at the idea of autism. because isaac was able to be cuddley with us our doctor decided to wait and see how things progressed and we lost a whole year of services isaac could have received because everyone is brought up to trust what the doctor says. well the doctor was wrong and isaac is severly autisic with a slew of other issues:) trust your instincts, doctors only see the kids maybe once or twice a year and trust me, their ideas on what autisim looks like is NOT up to date. if you have something in your area like CDS (child developemental services) like we do here they provide screenings (and you can self refer) to test for a bunch of developemental delays and to just see if a kids on track. they are funded by the educational department and so it's free (if that is an issue). G-Luck!

Your in a tough situation, as it is always hard to approach someone about their children. I have two children on the autism spectrum. My daughter is 6 and was just diagnosed this year, even though we had a feeling something was just not right all along. Is this your daughter or your son's child? Just wondering, because I think that will make a difference in your approach.

There are a lot of screening tools on line that you can try out. You should look up different diagnosis on the autism spectrum. He may be on the spectrum, but not necessarily diagnosed with autism. He may have PDD-NOS, which is what my children have, or he may have Aspergers (which is probably to young to tell at this point).

Does he have sensory issues? Does he toe walk, or flap his hands, or do any other sort of stimming behavior? There is a book out called "Could it be Autism?" It might be a good place for you to start. Are his meltdowns frequent? Does dealing with him seem like walking on eggshells? Does he have difficulty sleeping at night? I don't remember where I found it, but there is a PDD questionaire on line somewhere that you can fill out and it will tell you if there is need for concern. Also, look up the M-CHAT. These tools might help you.

Someone came to me and stated concerns about my daughter when she was young, and I was angry. I thought my child was perfect, and how dare they tell me otherwise. It is hard for a parent to hear that someone thinks there may be something wrong with the child, but so necessary. The earlier he gets intervention, the better chance he has for the long run.

Other questions, was there a speech delay? Did he ever lose any skills that he once had? Does he make eye contact? When you call his name from accross the room, does he respond? Or do you have to call his name a few times before getting a response?

Anyway, let his parents know your concerns, and tell them that you hope you are wrong, but you would feel better if they looked into it a little bit. Is this their first child? Sometimes, parents who do not have experience seeing a normal child's development, may not realize when development is delayed.

Good luck, and please keep us all posted.

-Steph

Thanks for all your responses. His speech is mostly copying. He used to say please and thank you but now doesn't. He does have melt downs quite often and it's hard to get him to calm down. He used to dance around in a circle if he didn't know how to respond to a question he was asked. He prefers just wearing diapers, no clothes if he really doesn't have to. When his hands get dirty he likes them to be cleaned off. Very picky eater and used to smell everything before he would put it to his mouth. He does have a very loving side to mom and dad but other people not real often. He'll sit on grandpa's lap sometimes but then there is not much interaction.

Maybe we'll have to give it a second thought on telling his parents what we feel. It is my husbands son and wife but I've been in his life for 28 years and we are very close. Thanks again for giving us some things to think about and watch for. Very much appreciated!! :)

Another thing you may want to research is Sensory Integration Dysfunction. There are some books out there on this subject that alot of kids with Autism have. Sometimes just a loud noise or an unexpected touch will be extremely painful for them. Some crave sensory experiences like my two boys, but some avoid as well. Hope this info will help you with your grandchild. Good luck. :)